My mom bought us dinner and I couldn’t eat it because I kept getting thoughts like “You don’t deserve to eat” and “you’re a bad person and shouldn’t eat that” so I put it in the refrigerator and now I’m having an anxiety attack in my room. I feel sick. If it’s true that the mistakes I made in my past mean I’m a monster or if I’ve done something immorally or did a “crime” or “illegal” than I’m done. I can’t live with myself if that’s true. I don’t think it’s ocd I think it’s true and I’m so scared but I don’t know…I can’t do this…💔

Thank you I really needed to hear that. I feel so lost and scared. I’m filled with so much fear, guilt, shame, anxiety and so on. I just hope I can get passed this one day. I appreciate your help thank you and God bless

I have actually talked to my first therapist I had through NOCD, I haven’t talked to my current one about it though, and I’ve talked to both my mom and my dad before he passed about it and it seems like no matter what anyone tells me it just gets worse and worse. I can’t have any peace. It’s like I HAVE to have answers or else I’m just gonna go insane. If my mistakes I’ve made make me a person like what I described above then I can’t live with myself. I’m a Christian and unfortunately my relationship with God has been pretty rocky but I do pray sometimes but it seems like it doesn’t really help me. I’m hoping eventually I will talk to my therapist I have now about it but I’m afraid to. I feel like I’m never going to get passed this

Oh thank you very much. Eventually I did eat something. I just get in these moods where I feel like I don’t deserve food, love, happiness, joy, or even to live sometimes when my real event is bothering me so much

It’s the real event ocd I’m struggling with but they kind of coincide with each other and I’ve been told so many times to accept uncertainty and what not and I can’t. Like saying “maybe, maybe not” feels so impossible for me because I keep thinking what if, what if, what if. I feel like I’m going crazy 😭