Hi, I was in NOCD about august 2020 after having a complete episode. I had judt starting babysitting and I honestly had nothing going on bc of the pandemic so it was the only thing I had to do. I started tele therapy about teauma drom my father and my big fear of turning into a narcissist like him (should have been a clue Lol) I get groinL responses for alot of things and one of the kids triggered it bytouching me And one night after playing with my bf virtually on minecraft, it was 2 am I couldnt stop thinking about ir, thus the intrusice thoughts came in. Started vommitting, stomach flopped crying and panicking in my room. I went straight for the internet ans BOOM, POCD popped. Next day my mom had gone to work and I called her to come home bc I was having a meltdown. I started tellingnher everything, told my bf about it, had a meltdown again, called my therapist. She wasnt familiar wirh ocd and tried reassuring me. I started telling everyone, i started being TMI of things that sexually interested me in order to see if thar what led me into being a pedophile. I told my friend that I didn't want to be near them bc of this and told her ALL THE IMAGES i was picturing. I got on meds, but I wasnt feeling better (it was only 2 weeks) and freaked out again around my nieces cause I couldnt help but notice when they ran around in their underwear. That's when I found NOCD. Whoever was the service specialist that answered was not judgemental at ALL. They sent me links to different profiles of theraoist availble. I honestly wasnt sure how ERP was supposed to work. I kept asking for reassurance on reddit and here. My NOCD therapist was extremely compassionate. The kind of lady that seemed like she'd make you baked goods and give you a warm blanket. But as SOON as it was time to do ERP, oh she was straight up make me do insane excercises. Making me write scenarios of what I was doing to kids, read them out loud read them in my head IN FRONT of the kids. IN DETAIL. But all those excercises work. And what happened? BOOM relationship OCD. Started spiraling a bit, she caught me in the act of reassurance. Had to do it AGAIN. It took a YEAR but i got it through my head the tools I need to handle OCD and especially so with an episode. I keep the journal of all rhe pocd thoughts and scenarios visible in my room just to continuously trigger the anxiety slightly to keep me on my toes. Recently I had a zoophilic episode. But it only seriously lasted a week because I went STRAIGHT into ERP mode Im still uncomfy when the thought pop up but it didnt stop me from petting my cats. ERP is the biggest way to work with your OCD. But you have to first accept that you arent trying "get rid of OCD" but trying to have a relationship with it. I cant speak for non pure ocd, but ERP makes pulling your teeth out with a pair of pliers sound like a day at disneyland. But it works. You can have the tools. You can get through it.

Just wanted to give some hope to those who are having ocd spikes, spirals and worries. This past year I have regained my life back. I went from beginning to isolate myself, being convinced by my ocd that my hobbies are bad and that I should avoid things I enjoyed, and having constant panic attacks. With the work of IOP, psychiatry and nocd, I have made great strives towards my future. I now don’t avoid things and instead embrace my life and ANY possibility that may come. Don’t let the ocd bully you. Yes, I have intrusive thoughts still but I am able to go about my day instead of obsessing over them. You can find this too. I encourage anyone on the fence to please seek help if you are in a tough time, it can literally save your life.

I was just thinking about how OCD tries to be tricky and switches themes on us!! The amount of times I have said to myself in the past, IF ONLY I HAD THE OLDER THEME I USE TO WORRY ABOUT BECAUSE THIS NEW ONE IS SO MUCH WORSE!!! Has anyone ever experienced this before? Once I started ERP therapy, I began to really start understanding what mental/physical compulsions I was doing to really keep my OCD alive! While I did this, I would also tap into my self-compassion bucket, even when it felt like it was dry at times, because it was SO easy to judge myself for because of the sheer presence of my thoughts. I would also have the most self-compassion for myself for those taboo intrusive thoughts that really felt so strong, ego-dystonic and real!!! My OCD would hop around from theme to theme and just when I thought I figured it out (compulsion) it would hop again and make me discouraged! I noticed for me that once I really understood my compulsions, it didn't matter when the theme switched as I could tackle it at its core. If I was able to stay steadfast and resist compulsions the best I could, I started to notice that my CONFIDENCE increased in the long run! I also noticed that some of the core fears were the same for different OCD subtypes. OCD treatment is hard BUT living with OCD is harder. I have experienced subtypes including Harm OCD, ROCD, Moral Scrupulosity, Sensorimotor, Contamination, Perfectionism/Just Right, Hit and Run, Magical Thinking, Real Event/False Memory. ERP therapy allowed me to really work on stopping these compulsions and switching from theme to theme. I was fed up with what OCD took from me and I needed to do something about it. I talked to an ERP therapist and it was one of the best decisions of my life. If you are struggling, keep pushing and get the help you deserve!! You got this!!!

I had just posted a summary of ERP for a group member, and I thought it might be useful for everybody. Here it is below (with a little extra added)…. ERP therapy is researched-based. Most other therapies don’t work. There have been people who have been literally stuck in their houses (from their OCD) who gained their lives back through ERP therapy. NOCD does ERP therapy exclusively. You can find it in other places too, but you have to ask around. There are two tenants of ERP therapy: The first one has to do with the repetitive thoughts inside our heads. These thoughts are actually defined as “obsessions”. You are not supposed to do anything with the obsessions. You are supposed to let them run through your head freely, without trying to fix them or stop them. Imagine a tree planted by a river. The leaves fall off and float down the river. You can see the leaves falling, but you don’t try to stop them or pick them up. You don’t try to fix them. You just let them float away. This is really important to do with your obsessive thoughts. The more you try to fight them off, the worse they get. I used to have blasphemous sentences running in my head 24/7. I felt like I had to put a “not” next to each sentence in order to “fix” it. But this just took hours of my time every day, and it was very scary, because I was worried that if I messed up, that I would go to hell. It was very freeing to learn later that I could just let those sentences run freely through my head without trying to fix them. The second part of ERP therapy is all about “denying your compulsions.” Every time OCD tells you that if you don’t do things a certain way that something really bad will happen, that is a compulsion. Once you recognize what your compulsions are, ERP therapy will have you practice stopping doing all of those things. For some people, that will mean stopping washing their hands or touching lights switches or, in my case, putting “fixing” words in their head. Compulsions are safety behaviors. During ERP therapy, you will practice stopping engaging with safety behaviors. All this is very hard to do and scary, so during therapy you will be given tools to help you deal with the fear. Often ERP therapy will take people from being non-functional to functional. I highly recommend it. ————————————————- PITFALL #1: After you have been doing ERP for a while and become somewhat successful, the OCD will try subtle little tricks to bring you down again. The first one is to tell you that your thoughts are REAL and not OCD, and therefore you can’t apply ERP therapy. Don’t fall for this trick! All thoughts are just thoughts. They are all meaningless. Don’t try to figure out what is real and what is OCD. Just treat all thoughts with ERP therapy. PITFALL #2: The second pitfall is that OCD will tell you that you can’t move forward unless you have absolute certainty that you will be safe. Hate to tell you this, folks, but there is no certainty in life. You will never know for SURE that you or your loved ones will be “safe” from the OCD rules. Therefore, you have to move forward in the uncertainty. It’s hard, but it gets easier with time and practice. We got this, guys !!!!!!