Does any of you guys repeat words? I do it unconsciously, it just kind of happens in my mind but i don't think it "gives" me relief like most of my compulsions, but it does prevent my mind from being occupied with the intrusive thoughts for a while. Is it a compulsion?

Often I listen to podcasts or audiobooks. Sometimes fiction, sometimes about ocd or anxiety. I did this before i got so consumed with ocd again. But no i am doubting myself if i do this to distract myself. I do it while doing chores or when I put on my make-up for example. And I have to admit it helps me to get distracted from my thoughts. How do you know when you do it to distract your thoughts (as a compulsion) or just because you like it? When do you know it is helpfull or not?

Anyone else have repeated thoughts that play that are negative. Basically a back and forth of you telling yourself you don't want X to happen but having a thought that slips saying you do. Like being stressed out one day and saying "man I wish I were dead". But instead of letting it roll through your mind and thinking nothing of it, you obsess if you actually want that outcome for yourself and you are now scared you'd fatally harm yourself whenever you feel anxious or stressed even though you know you wouldn't. So now I repeatedly get I wanna die stuck in my head and I feel the compulsive need to say no I don't to combat the thoughts and it happens throughout the day and even when I wake up.

I’ve had physical compulsions on and off throughout my life. And rumination while not physical comes right along with it. Recently my brain has latched on to reassurance seeking. And it makes work horrible. I constantly feel the need to seek reassurance or validation from my boss or my coworkers or friends. I feel constantly judged and hyper analyze everything someone says to me or every interaction I have. I go home after work and run over all the times I spoke to or interacted with someone that day and I’m critical of how I presented myself, how I was perceived, what I said or didn’t say. I then go back the next day not only wanting to seek reassurance but also thinking I need to over explain myself to prevent any kind of damaging misunderstanding or miscommunication that would make them think poorly of me. Is this a common thing? It’s been the worst thing to go through as of late, my checking and things has gone down but this mental stuff is a whole new beast. How do you guys handle this kind of thing at work or at school?