- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
You will get over that stage. I’ve just over come it and it’s the best feeling. Your anxiety and thoughts cover up the reality of how you really feel and has almost made you blind to the love you have for him. It will slowly come back. Just remember the times you have felt love for him and hold onto it.
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you so much for that little bit of hope. It’s just so hard to have hope when those loving moments are becoming more and more rare but the anxiety is becoming less and less. Feel like after 6 months of ROCD my brain is maybe (finally and hopefully) getting bored.
- Date posted
- 3y
I needed this too thank you
- Date posted
- 3y
@Liza7 Yes you’ll get bored of the anxiety but then you still need to recover from all the months you had anxiety as it’s basically ruined your perception of love. You just need to carry on from where you left off and you will feel the love again.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous It’s a bit difficult because I’ve had the anxiety since the beginning of the relationship. So coming out of the honeymoon phase and coming out of the anxiety phase it feels like I didn’t like him at all which I feel as though deep deep down that’s not true based on how I felt last weekend. The anxiety has definitely ruined my perception of love. Can’t remember the last time I felt love without anxiety, must’ve been when I was 14 so around ten years ago. Feel as though I need to relearn how to experience love
- Date posted
- 3y
@Liza7 Just remember that you chose who you love. If you know that you love him and want to love him, then it will just take time and a lot of effort to get those feelings back because you’ve almost built yourself a wall because of the anxiety and youngest need to knock it back down. Yes you will have to relearn but you need to allow yourself to let go and experience love again.
- Date posted
- 3y
this is what I needed to hear ❤️ ocd covers up reality with it’s own version of it which makes you doubt it all
- Date posted
- 3y
@Liza7 i hear you. I’ve been in relationships before where the opposite happened, I was infatuated not realizing the underlying anxiety I had. Now, I am in love but I have anxiety clouding over. Love had phases as well, it is natural. Some days, you will feel like you’re back to day 1 of crushing on them, maybe the next day you’ll chill together and be bored, then the next they may make you feel sad. Etc etc. i believe in you, I’m with you
- Date posted
- 3y
Is it possible that thinking of the loving memories is a form of a compulsion? I only ask because looking to the past is something I would do when I would have an intrusive though, but I do know what you mean. Holding onto love and happiness is so helpful
- Date posted
- 3y
1. You are not going to like this, but it is always possible that your partner is not the right person for you and that the relationship will not last. 2. I had trouble with this because I am in my first long term relationship. If you did not know, it is normal to not always feel super excited about the person all the time. It is normal to not always want to be around them. And your relationship will always have problems and will never be perfect. Your OCD wants to eliminate any imperfections and convince you that you must be head over heels every second or you are not in love. This is unreasonable. You will never achieve certainty. You just have to decide what you want and take the leap of faith to stay if that’s what you want
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
Hey everyone, I wanted to come on here today to just share this post because I’ve been struggling with this recently. I just wanna know if this is a common thing in relationship OCD. So last Friday me and my boyfriend had a conversation that was important, and my emotions were high and I got a little emotional about something he said and we had a long talk about it, the conversation went great and afterwards everything was okay. On Saturday I was so excited to see him after work and I was overflowing with feelings of happiness and excitement. Sunday was great and we stayed on FaceTime just enjoying the day together after he went home that morning, and then came Monday. I remember getting a thought like this, “What if I’m losing feelings for him and I’m just leading him on?” And even this thought, “I don’t really feel anything towards him right now, does that mean I fell out of love with him?” And then the anxiety came, I could literally feel myself breaking out in cold sweats and I could feel the pain in my chest after these thoughts crossed my mind. But what bothers me so much about this is on Saturday and Sunday I felt so content and happy with him and I was so happy and I didn’t have any anxiety whatsoever, and then Monday came, and I had those thoughts and I feel almost numb and I can’t feel anything else except the feelings of worry and fear and my anxiety has been at a all-time high and I keep feeling this pain of guilt and hurt in my chest and I just wanted to know if anyone else has experienced the same. Because personally one thing I hate is that one day I can be so happy and energetic and then the next day I can feel numb and feel absolutely nothing towards my boyfriend. I’m not sure if this can correlate with my menstrual cycle as well, but I’ve heard that that can also make your relationship OCD worse and cause you to feel differently about your partner. Just wanting to see if anyone has dealt with the same!
- Date posted
- 21w
It hurts so much to write that. Lately, every time I talk to my boyfriend — whether it’s through text or in person — I feel this deep irritation, like everything he says or does annoys me. Sometimes, it even feels like disgust, and it’s terrifying. I don’t feel love. I don’t feel excitement. I don’t even feel sadness about not feeling anything… just numb. I look at him and I don’t feel like I used to. I don’t know what happened to me. I used to be so sure I loved him, and now I feel like a completely different person — cold, distant, empty. My brain keeps telling me: “You don’t love him anymore. You never did. You’re only staying out of habit.” My mom told me that if I don’t like him anymore, then I’m hurting both him and myself by staying in this. And hearing that broke me. Because that’s exactly what I fear — that I’m faking everything, and I just don’t want to admit the truth. I feel so lost. And I don’t know how to separate my thoughts from reality anymore. All I know is that I want to feel something again — anything. Because right now, all I feel is guilt, fear, and confusion. i used to know these thoughts are just thoughts and that if i didn’t have them i would be so happy but now, i cant think aboyr that bc the thoughts feel too real.
- Date posted
- 17w
hi! I broke a short period of doing well without compulsions because I got triggered again. Before this, I had about two calmer days where I didn’t spiral so much, but now everything feels worse. I’m scared that I don’t love my boyfriend as much as I used to, or that this relationship is making me feel stuck or sad. He’s a wonderful person, and I hate thinking this way. I smelled a perfume that used to make me feel calm and in love, and now it just makes me question everything. I spent hours last night searching Reddit, especially on r/ROCD, trying to see if someone is like me or if anyone has answers. I keep rereading posts, hoping I’ll feel certain about what I should do. But I just feel more confused. I keep thinking, “What if I heal and then realize I don’t love him?” or “What if I’m only staying because I feel safe with him or I’m used to him?” I feel numb sometimes, or like I’m pretending, and I hate it. I want to feel love and clarity again. I don’t know what’s real or what’s ROCD anymore. I just feel lost and afraid. I talk to hi. now and i feel so strange like i dont want to force myself i want to like him i dont understand what i feel i feel so weird in my chest
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