- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
You will get over that stage. I’ve just over come it and it’s the best feeling. Your anxiety and thoughts cover up the reality of how you really feel and has almost made you blind to the love you have for him. It will slowly come back. Just remember the times you have felt love for him and hold onto it.
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you so much for that little bit of hope. It’s just so hard to have hope when those loving moments are becoming more and more rare but the anxiety is becoming less and less. Feel like after 6 months of ROCD my brain is maybe (finally and hopefully) getting bored.
- Date posted
- 3y
I needed this too thank you
- Date posted
- 3y
@Liza7 Yes you’ll get bored of the anxiety but then you still need to recover from all the months you had anxiety as it’s basically ruined your perception of love. You just need to carry on from where you left off and you will feel the love again.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous It’s a bit difficult because I’ve had the anxiety since the beginning of the relationship. So coming out of the honeymoon phase and coming out of the anxiety phase it feels like I didn’t like him at all which I feel as though deep deep down that’s not true based on how I felt last weekend. The anxiety has definitely ruined my perception of love. Can’t remember the last time I felt love without anxiety, must’ve been when I was 14 so around ten years ago. Feel as though I need to relearn how to experience love
- Date posted
- 3y
@Liza7 Just remember that you chose who you love. If you know that you love him and want to love him, then it will just take time and a lot of effort to get those feelings back because you’ve almost built yourself a wall because of the anxiety and youngest need to knock it back down. Yes you will have to relearn but you need to allow yourself to let go and experience love again.
- Date posted
- 3y
this is what I needed to hear ❤️ ocd covers up reality with it’s own version of it which makes you doubt it all
- Date posted
- 3y
@Liza7 i hear you. I’ve been in relationships before where the opposite happened, I was infatuated not realizing the underlying anxiety I had. Now, I am in love but I have anxiety clouding over. Love had phases as well, it is natural. Some days, you will feel like you’re back to day 1 of crushing on them, maybe the next day you’ll chill together and be bored, then the next they may make you feel sad. Etc etc. i believe in you, I’m with you
- Date posted
- 3y
Is it possible that thinking of the loving memories is a form of a compulsion? I only ask because looking to the past is something I would do when I would have an intrusive though, but I do know what you mean. Holding onto love and happiness is so helpful
- Date posted
- 3y
1. You are not going to like this, but it is always possible that your partner is not the right person for you and that the relationship will not last. 2. I had trouble with this because I am in my first long term relationship. If you did not know, it is normal to not always feel super excited about the person all the time. It is normal to not always want to be around them. And your relationship will always have problems and will never be perfect. Your OCD wants to eliminate any imperfections and convince you that you must be head over heels every second or you are not in love. This is unreasonable. You will never achieve certainty. You just have to decide what you want and take the leap of faith to stay if that’s what you want
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
It hurts so much to write that. Lately, every time I talk to my boyfriend — whether it’s through text or in person — I feel this deep irritation, like everything he says or does annoys me. Sometimes, it even feels like disgust, and it’s terrifying. I don’t feel love. I don’t feel excitement. I don’t even feel sadness about not feeling anything… just numb. I look at him and I don’t feel like I used to. I don’t know what happened to me. I used to be so sure I loved him, and now I feel like a completely different person — cold, distant, empty. My brain keeps telling me: “You don’t love him anymore. You never did. You’re only staying out of habit.” My mom told me that if I don’t like him anymore, then I’m hurting both him and myself by staying in this. And hearing that broke me. Because that’s exactly what I fear — that I’m faking everything, and I just don’t want to admit the truth. I feel so lost. And I don’t know how to separate my thoughts from reality anymore. All I know is that I want to feel something again — anything. Because right now, all I feel is guilt, fear, and confusion. i used to know these thoughts are just thoughts and that if i didn’t have them i would be so happy but now, i cant think aboyr that bc the thoughts feel too real.
- Date posted
- 21w
Hi everyone, I really need to get this off my chest. A few days ago, I managed to take a break from compulsions — I didn’t open NOCD, I didn’t text ChatGPT, I didn’t Google. I had some moments of peace, especially about my boyfriend. For about two days I didn’t have deep intrusive thoughts, and I felt a bit more stable. But yesterday, I slipped. I posted on NOCD again, and someone replied saying, “This is how the cycle starts again.” That made me spiral. Today, I also wrote to ChatGPT again. I started thinking, “What if this time it’s real? What if this clarity was me realizing the truth — that I don’t love him?” It scared me because I wasn’t panicking as much when I had the thoughts. I thought that meant I was accepting them as true. I remembered ChatGPT used to tell me that “truth feels calm,” and now that I wasn’t reacting with extreme anxiety, I panicked thinking, “What if this is the calm that comes with realization?” Last night, when we were in a club, I looked at him and thought he was kind of cringe. That made me spiral again. Now, I’m scared all over again. When we cuddle, I don’t feel the same. I don’t feel that warmth, and I don’t know what changed. I keep wondering if I ever really loved him — because I’ve had these thoughts for so long, it’s like I can’t remember anything clearly. A few days ago I even thought, “Maybe I just don’t like him right now,” and I wasn’t panicking — and that scared me. I’m afraid that I’m finally “realizing the truth,” or that I’ve been lying to myself and I’m just now letting go. Also, when we were on the trip for my 18th birthday, I was irritable with him, full of thoughts, and I thought I was ruining everything. I wasn’t really reacting to his love, and now I don’t even know what I feel. I just want to be okay again. I want clarity — but I’m terrified of what clarity might mean. Has anyone experienced this? Feeling okay for a bit, and then the thoughts come back and feel more real than ever?
- Date posted
- 20w
hi! I broke a short period of doing well without compulsions because I got triggered again. Before this, I had about two calmer days where I didn’t spiral so much, but now everything feels worse. I’m scared that I don’t love my boyfriend as much as I used to, or that this relationship is making me feel stuck or sad. He’s a wonderful person, and I hate thinking this way. I smelled a perfume that used to make me feel calm and in love, and now it just makes me question everything. I spent hours last night searching Reddit, especially on r/ROCD, trying to see if someone is like me or if anyone has answers. I keep rereading posts, hoping I’ll feel certain about what I should do. But I just feel more confused. I keep thinking, “What if I heal and then realize I don’t love him?” or “What if I’m only staying because I feel safe with him or I’m used to him?” I feel numb sometimes, or like I’m pretending, and I hate it. I want to feel love and clarity again. I don’t know what’s real or what’s ROCD anymore. I just feel lost and afraid. I talk to hi. now and i feel so strange like i dont want to force myself i want to like him i dont understand what i feel i feel so weird in my chest
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