Yesterday I felt really happy and a lot like myself but still couldn’t feel in love with my boyfriend and still thought he wasn’t attractive enough. It was like I was seeing him through clear eyes with no anxiety which in turn made me feel anxious. Everything feels a lot more real… I’m not ruminating as much and I’m not getting as many strong intrusive thoughts. It feels more like my head is heavy constantly and I feel down because I’ve accepted it was all true and I was just lying to myself. I can’t enjoy my time with him anymore like I could at the beginning of the relationship, even though I experienced anxiety then too. So it feels like the infatuation and the excitement of a new relationship has worn off and I’m sat feeling no love or attraction. It’s so confusing because last Sunday I felt the love and attraction, now I feel nothing at all.

Thank you so much for that little bit of hope. It’s just so hard to have hope when those loving moments are becoming more and more rare but the anxiety is becoming less and less. Feel like after 6 months of ROCD my brain is maybe (finally and hopefully) getting bored.

I needed this too thank you

@Liza7 Yes you’ll get bored of the anxiety but then you still need to recover from all the months you had anxiety as it’s basically ruined your perception of love. You just need to carry on from where you left off and you will feel the love again.

@Anonymous It’s a bit difficult because I’ve had the anxiety since the beginning of the relationship. So coming out of the honeymoon phase and coming out of the anxiety phase it feels like I didn’t like him at all which I feel as though deep deep down that’s not true based on how I felt last weekend. The anxiety has definitely ruined my perception of love. Can’t remember the last time I felt love without anxiety, must’ve been when I was 14 so around ten years ago. Feel as though I need to relearn how to experience love

@Liza7 Just remember that you chose who you love. If you know that you love him and want to love him, then it will just take time and a lot of effort to get those feelings back because you’ve almost built yourself a wall because of the anxiety and youngest need to knock it back down. Yes you will have to relearn but you need to allow yourself to let go and experience love again.

this is what I needed to hear ❤️ ocd covers up reality with it’s own version of it which makes you doubt it all

@Liza7 i hear you. I’ve been in relationships before where the opposite happened, I was infatuated not realizing the underlying anxiety I had. Now, I am in love but I have anxiety clouding over. Love had phases as well, it is natural. Some days, you will feel like you’re back to day 1 of crushing on them, maybe the next day you’ll chill together and be bored, then the next they may make you feel sad. Etc etc. i believe in you, I’m with you

Is it possible that thinking of the loving memories is a form of a compulsion? I only ask because looking to the past is something I would do when I would have an intrusive though, but I do know what you mean. Holding onto love and happiness is so helpful