Trigger warning, contamination ocd, female anatomy, sex. Do u ever feel disgusted by your own body and how do you deal with it? Sometimes I feel like I can never be clean enough. If you're a person with a vulva you know there are a lot of "nooks and crannies" and I feel like I'm probably missing an area when I shower or that I'm not doing a good enough job. I feel disgusting and like if I am intimate with someone I'll probably gross them out. It doesn't help that when I was like 12 I got bacterial vaginosis because my mom never taught me how to properly clean myself (she was super repressed and old fashioned and barely taught me anything!) It was so embarrassing when i started having symptoms and she took me to the gynecologist and the gyno said I had bv from not properly washing. I have a lot of shame from that. I don't wanna let anyone go down on me because I'm afraid I might be dirty. I use a mirror to make sure I inspect everything down there and if I don't do that for a few weeks or months (and actually start to feel happy again) then I start to feel gross again and like I need to obsess over it again. But the thing is sometimes if I'm not obsessing, I *do* miss a spot. And so when I find that I am like, "see, thats why you need to obsess over it!"

Do any of you avoid cleaning because it makes you more anxious? I haven’t worn any makeup on in awhile except for my eyelashes and lipgloss , but after keeping them in my makeup bag for too long I get scared. I dropped these Bobby pins on the floor the other day in my bathroom and mind u I haven’t done a full bathroom clean since I left for Florida on the 6th and I came back the 13th. The Bobby pins were still clipped on the paper package (if that makes sense) and I didn’t touch the floor fully but the side of my finger touched the floor. I don’t think I immediately washed my hands after but eventually I did. I ended up getting some lipliner from my makeup bag and I purposely didn’t overwash my hands bc I’m trying to be better about not excessively washing them. I feel like touching the floor and not washing my hands right away caused a flare up. I do wanna put on a full face of makeup but I’m scared that I’ll get a wart or an infection on my face. I know I’ve talked about this numerous amounts of times but I had a wart the first week of February and sometimes I feel like the virus is still on the floor. I haven’t soft scrubbed the floor but I’ve used a lot of Clorox wipes to wipe the floor. Like I said though, I haven’t washed my floors since Florida and I think it’s just anxiety. I’m trying to let my mind settle and doing the “maybe or maybe not methods.” I just feel like that wart on my foot traumatized me. I wanna empty all my makeup out … like all the brushes and even the bag. I know it’s such a waste of money but there are times I’ll go buy the same makeup brushes bc I’m scared to get it contaminated. Ugh and when I fo go out and buy them my ocd kinda flares bc then it’s saying “maybe someone returned this makeup brush and used it and your gonna get a wart that way too.” 😣 It’s like I can’t win. And then I think to myself, “am I gonna get punished or will something happen to me if I do get a new brush?” 😞 it’s very exhausting! Please any advice would help!

Hi everyone I could really use some help on this topic. It’s hard to admit and talk about but after being on here I see that I’m not the only one! Still I would love some support and advice with how to deal with those unwanted sexual thoughts. For me it’s so uncomfortable and honestly gross when sexual thoughts get out of hand with normal people and also do extremely out of hand that even loved ones get involved. Like when I watch tv and all of a sudden I have these gross thoughts that I know if I accept they will go away but how can you accept something so gross? Would love some help!

sorry if im putting to much detail in here I can take it down if it is too much and makes people uncomfy. Last night was watching some ex*pl*cit content while lying on the rug in the room in my house I spend most of my time and where my family usually goes into and it caused a physical reaction. I went to the bathroom to clean up and then sprayed the shower done and put bleach on the floor but I wiped the floor with a towel to kinda clean it but idk if I put enough bleach to clean it and if I got it in the areas that mattered and I sprayed Lysol on the bathroom counter to make sure no germs of my earlier reaction got any where but I ran out of Lysol after spraying everything but I made sure to spray the rug with some Lysol before I ran out but idk if I got everything I mean I focused on the rug but I didn’t spray all of it and I didn’t spray all the stuff that was in the room. And to make things worse after my reaction earlier I put my devices and charger on the floor of my room before washing my hands or my devices so I had to clean the floor in my room I used bleach but I didn’t put it everywhere on the floor which makes me anxious and idk if I cleaned my devices or charger well enough and I’m scared they are still infected. But back to the rug i sprayed it down with odoban it says disinfectant on it but I think it’s only for hard surfaces it disinfects but I still sprayed it around on the rug but I don’t know if it actually disinfected anything. And of course to make matters worse my baby cousins toys were in the room so I sprayed them with what little Lysol I had left but idk if I cleaned it well enough but I already put them with their other toys so idk what to do. After I thought I cleaned everything I put my devices on my mattress I don’t have my blankets on my mattress yet cause I washed them like a week or 2 ago and they are just laying on my bed but not put on my mattress so I’m scared my mattress if infected since I’m laying on my mattress with my feet on my chair and my devices are on my mattress. And idk I don’t want people getting those bad germs in them and I,worry about this a lot and Ik a lot of people will say that it isn’t that huge of a deal and I want to,believe them and it helps but my mind is always telling me that even if that’s true I have a responsibility to make sure everything is clean so people don’t get hurt and it doesn’t help that I’ve been so,itchy and idk why and my little brother is also itchy idk if it’s because I don’t clean well enough and it’s my germs or not but I’m tired do I need,to clean my mattress and covers again and reclean the rug I think I do but I’m trying to go against that thinking but it’s hard because I feel like a bad persons. And today I’m scared to leave my room i feel like I’m filthy and that the rug in the other room is contaminated and it doesn’t help I need to go to the doctor today when I’m feeling like anyone I’m around im infecting