Trigger warning, contamination ocd, female anatomy, sex. Do u ever feel disgusted by your own body and how do you deal with it? Sometimes I feel like I can never be clean enough. If you're a person with a vulva you know there are a lot of "nooks and crannies" and I feel like I'm probably missing an area when I shower or that I'm not doing a good enough job. I feel disgusting and like if I am intimate with someone I'll probably gross them out. It doesn't help that when I was like 12 I got bacterial vaginosis because my mom never taught me how to properly clean myself (she was super repressed and old fashioned and barely taught me anything!) It was so embarrassing when i started having symptoms and she took me to the gynecologist and the gyno said I had bv from not properly washing. I have a lot of shame from that. I don't wanna let anyone go down on me because I'm afraid I might be dirty. I use a mirror to make sure I inspect everything down there and if I don't do that for a few weeks or months (and actually start to feel happy again) then I start to feel gross again and like I need to obsess over it again. But the thing is sometimes if I'm not obsessing, I *do* miss a spot. And so when I find that I am like, "see, thats why you need to obsess over it!"

+18 only!! TW for sexual content!! (This might be TMI, but I need advice) So, this is kinda embarrassing, but I haven't been able to self-pleasure without feeling shame or guilt. It's so bad that I've just stopped altogether, but I don't want to avoid it. It was something I enjoyed and was comfortable with, and now, because of OCD, it just makes me feel... gross. It's a perfectly normal and healthy thing to do, but my mind just tries to convince me that it's wrong. Had anyone else dealt with this? It's not a huge issue, but I'm tired of unnecessary shame. :(

all morning i have been feeling like there is dirt and grime on my skin. i showered last night. i washed my hair on tuesday night and i will wash it tonight. but i feel like there is dirt in my scalp and in my hair and i feel like i haven’t showered in weeks. i don’t want to feel like this anymore. every day i am anxious about how clean i am and its taking over my life. any tips?

(20f) I have been dealing with severe OCD symptoms for as long as I can remember. I recently got diagnosed about a year ago, and even though I know that these thoughts are probably my ocd, I still cant shake them. Growing up I was always very sexually curious. I was sheltered from a lot of things, as I went to a private school and things like sexuality and sex were never talked about. I remember doing some weird sexual things growing up (never affecting another person), looking up taboo sexual things, etc. I always seemed to become aroused no matter what the situation was, even if I just saw someone getting changed. I have no recollection of being SA'd, so i'm wondering where this all came from? Was I just curious and wanted to experiment and try different things? Or am I really a pervert, pedophile, etc. I have all these thoughts racing through my head and it's killing me. Everything I did as a kid I look back on and am disgusted, as those don't align with my views at all today. I never thought growing up thinking these things were wrong, or actually realize what they were until I got older. I'd like to think it was just my curiosity, but i'm not sure. What if i'm in denial and actually do like these things? I just need to know if theres something wrong w me, I cant keep going on like this. Could really use some advice.