Trigger warning, contamination ocd, female anatomy, sex. Do u ever feel disgusted by your own body and how do you deal with it? Sometimes I feel like I can never be clean enough. If you're a person with a vulva you know there are a lot of "nooks and crannies" and I feel like I'm probably missing an area when I shower or that I'm not doing a good enough job. I feel disgusting and like if I am intimate with someone I'll probably gross them out. It doesn't help that when I was like 12 I got bacterial vaginosis because my mom never taught me how to properly clean myself (she was super repressed and old fashioned and barely taught me anything!) It was so embarrassing when i started having symptoms and she took me to the gynecologist and the gyno said I had bv from not properly washing. I have a lot of shame from that. I don't wanna let anyone go down on me because I'm afraid I might be dirty. I use a mirror to make sure I inspect everything down there and if I don't do that for a few weeks or months (and actually start to feel happy again) then I start to feel gross again and like I need to obsess over it again. But the thing is sometimes if I'm not obsessing, I *do* miss a spot. And so when I find that I am like, "see, thats why you need to obsess over it!"