I've been diagnoised with General anxiety disorder. I also have OCD. And my my neurologist that gives me medicine says i have mild depression. My life is pretty hard and i struggle for doing normal things. Even getting up takes a lot of energy. Everyday i try so hard to keep living my life and go through anxiety most of the times. But today my mom said you are lazy and it made me really upset. It's so hard to feel people around you don't understand your condition and expect you to just stop being like this and reprimand you and preaching about why you shouldn't be anxious and..... I feel like my parents see me as a failure 😔

Instead I’m belittled and insulted when I don’t meet their standard. I know I can’t drive, I’m terrified and my OCD makes it even worse. But instead of being encouraged so I feel confident that bough to try it out, I get yelled and screamed at about how I’m a baby and not a real adult and that I need to face reality. Like it’s the worst parenting job ever, what the hell. Now I want to drive even less because I feel even less confident about myself. My dad yells at me because he sees my recluse tendencies and never stops to consider that maybe his belittling is why I never even try. Because I don’t even feel a single shred of hope in myself.

I struggle with self harm and depression. I told my doctor a week ago that I have suicidal thoughts and she put me on an anxiety/depression med and she said it could make things better or worse. I have noticed I barely eat anything anymore and I started to self harm more. I go through my day struggling and I’ve lost my friends and I stay in my room 24/7. I don’t feel like doing anything anymore. People say “oh it’ll get better” or “you’ll overcome it” or “don’t worry it’ll be okay” but guess what it’s not true. I feel like no one gets me or no one will listen to me. No one understands the pain I go through every second of the day trying my hardest to put on a fake smile. I can’t do it anymore. I want it to stop.

So I and my mom got into this big fight yesterday and I said some things I didn't mean to say to her and she said some things and I know what I said was bad but what she said cut deep in me because Even though what I said to her wasn't good her words hurt because going through wat om going through rn is honestly the worst thing a human can go through my worries and fears now all of a sudden now become feeling of Suicide and self-harm and honestly she's right because at this point I'm at a dead end and there's no going back I didn't tell her what was actually going on with me because I know she will never look at me the same and growing up with parents that are Gen x back in the day mental illness is a fucking joke to them apparently and is not taken seriously not all of them are like this but I know a few now I've been thinking about offing myself I don't think I'm gonna make it I'm really struggling.