My ocd tries to amke me believe that im not like other people with ocd, that mine is true and i just refuse to accept reality because it doesn't align with what i want to be.Honestly fuck ocd🙂 It still didn't manage to make me do compulsions.

Is ocd supposed to feel like a genuine belief ? I see or hear some people saying things like « I know it’s not true but …. » while I personally don’t « know that it’s not true » I feels genuinely real and I even find evidence for it

Man i just wanna say fuck ocd i used to be the biggest liar and i never got caught but what can i say 😂 Nah now that i'm thinking about it i think it's a good thing but not always

So my OCD has been bad lately. I’ve been ruminating and obsessing over my sexuality again. And it just keeps getting worse. I hate it so much. I try to sit with the discomfort but then my ocd does the backdoor spike. And the groinal response is what keeps me looped. It SUCKS. I am not attracted to men, but my OCD is trying SO hard to convince me that I am. There have been days where I’m just so mentally exhausted that I “accept” what my ocd tells me and I just walk around a hollow, lethargic shell. But then I rethink it and I feel better. It feels like I can only find my TRUE self when I tire my nervous system out enough that it literally breaks down and has me suicidal and hopeless. And then accepting my OCD’s “truth” (that I’m attracted to men) feels like a burden and a chore. I woke up today from an OCD dream, tried to go back to sleep, and my stomach kept cramping bc I was so anxious and ruminating over my intrusive thoughts. I’m starting to doubt it being OCD anymore. My brain is too tired to fight and cry about it anymore.