This is me!!! I have this with my own child 😞 you explained it perfectly “micro-actions”. I know I would never actually physically molest my own daughter. But it’s the micro actions that plague me. If I go against my compulsions in any way it feels as if I have acted on an urge. From the way my hands are positioned when I hold her, the way I pick her up, change her diaper. The way I decide to move her off of my lap, or knee. If it’s too aggressive or with too much force I feel as if I have acted on an urge in some way.
Im so glad you posted this, I don’t see this often
Just want to let you know I also suffer from POCD. It’s very hard and I understand a lot of what you’re dealing with.
I’ve written really long responses and stopped myself from posting. Do you feel so low at times and so certain that nothing matters anymore? It happened yesterday, I can’t get the absolute certainty and I just feel like nothing else matters, everything has changed from this point onwards
It’s so hard I can relate to this and don’t see much of it so it can feel like I’m the only one This post matters, thank you
Incase it helps anyone, read about thought-action-fusion, attentional focus and hyper awareness around OCD. I’ve felt very low today and clinging on to my next therapy session
Care to share some links with what you’ve read?
It’s been more things that my old OCD therapist (outside of NOCD) would teach me about. We are hyper aware of our bodies/movements which people without OCD aren’t. Thought action fusion is the concept that you were already doing the action but a split second after you get an intrusive thought and you then believe the thought came then the action. May give some relief or hope to you
Oh my god that makes so much sense that’s exactly it thank you for sharing
Of course. This is the most painful disorder and I send you all so much love and healing. You are not alone