Help- please reply I never post but I’ve had one of the worst triggers today. I suffer from POCD and have done so for years (15 years+) - varying degrees but especially bad in the last 2 years. I started therapy with NOCD a few months ago. My issue is I worry about micro-actions that aren’t easy for anyone to spot - for example I might be standing and then a c runs or walks past me and I have thoughts and urges and commands to move towards them- then I see or feel my body move slightly in the direction of what my mind has said or for a second it moves until I move it back and it makes me feel like my life is over because what I’m worried about has happened. Today I pushed the button for the lift and out of nowhere a c came past me and I got the thought to bend over towards them but I did slightly bend over and then froze in fear but I think the “freezing” happened after they passed me and Im worried by bending over slightly that they did touch me when they passed me - I felt certain in that moment and the anxiety and the doom and despair is too much to handle. It’s only later once the anxiety starts to settle that I can think “maybe this doesn’t matter” or “maybe nothing happened” as in the moment I feel a huge amount of distress and certainty. Then the distress, certainty, anxiety in those moment(s) are also evidence that it did happen. Does anyone relate to this? I feel so alone and so helpless and never seem to see these types of worries so if this sounds like you too please let me know.

This is me!!! I have this with my own child 😞 you explained it perfectly “micro-actions”. I know I would never actually physically molest my own daughter. But it’s the micro actions that plague me. If I go against my compulsions in any way it feels as if I have acted on an urge. From the way my hands are positioned when I hold her, the way I pick her up, change her diaper. The way I decide to move her off of my lap, or knee. If it’s too aggressive or with too much force I feel as if I have acted on an urge in some way.

Im so glad you posted this, I don’t see this often

Just want to let you know I also suffer from POCD. It’s very hard and I understand a lot of what you’re dealing with.

It’s been more things that my old OCD therapist (outside of NOCD) would teach me about. We are hyper aware of our bodies/movements which people without OCD aren’t. Thought action fusion is the concept that you were already doing the action but a split second after you get an intrusive thought and you then believe the thought came then the action. May give some relief or hope to you

It’s so hard I can relate to this and don’t see much of it so it can feel like I’m the only one This post matters, thank you

Of course. This is the most painful disorder and I send you all so much love and healing. You are not alone

I’ve written really long responses and stopped myself from posting. Do you feel so low at times and so certain that nothing matters anymore? It happened yesterday, I can’t get the absolute certainty and I just feel like nothing else matters, everything has changed from this point onwards

Incase it helps anyone, read about thought-action-fusion, attentional focus and hyper awareness around OCD. I’ve felt very low today and clinging on to my next therapy session