- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
This is me!!! I have this with my own child 😞 you explained it perfectly “micro-actions”. I know I would never actually physically molest my own daughter. But it’s the micro actions that plague me. If I go against my compulsions in any way it feels as if I have acted on an urge. From the way my hands are positioned when I hold her, the way I pick her up, change her diaper. The way I decide to move her off of my lap, or knee. If it’s too aggressive or with too much force I feel as if I have acted on an urge in some way.
- Date posted
- 3y
Im so glad you posted this, I don’t see this often
- Date posted
- 3y
Just want to let you know I also suffer from POCD. It’s very hard and I understand a lot of what you’re dealing with.
- Date posted
- 3y
It’s been more things that my old OCD therapist (outside of NOCD) would teach me about. We are hyper aware of our bodies/movements which people without OCD aren’t. Thought action fusion is the concept that you were already doing the action but a split second after you get an intrusive thought and you then believe the thought came then the action. May give some relief or hope to you
- Date posted
- 3y
Oh my god that makes so much sense that’s exactly it thank you for sharing
- Date posted
- 3y
It’s so hard I can relate to this and don’t see much of it so it can feel like I’m the only one This post matters, thank you
- Date posted
- 3y
Of course. This is the most painful disorder and I send you all so much love and healing. You are not alone
- Date posted
- 3y
I’ve written really long responses and stopped myself from posting. Do you feel so low at times and so certain that nothing matters anymore? It happened yesterday, I can’t get the absolute certainty and I just feel like nothing else matters, everything has changed from this point onwards
- Date posted
- 3y
Incase it helps anyone, read about thought-action-fusion, attentional focus and hyper awareness around OCD. I’ve felt very low today and clinging on to my next therapy session
- Date posted
- 3y
Care to share some links with what you’ve read?
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
I’ve been feeling the urge to avoid intimacy or purposefully engage (for reassurance that I won’t give into a compulsion) because of intrusive thoughts and fear that I’ll “check/test” my reactions. My OCD is making me so scared that I’ll purposefully think of a child and try to see if I like it. It’s so complicated but I guess I’m mentally checking if I would mentally check during intimacy. I’ve even envisioned myself checking and it’s making me so nauseous. I know it’s a compulsion like any other but the sound of “touching yourself to the thought of a child” sounds atrocious and vile. I’m terrified I’ll automatically start checking next time I am being intimate. I truly feel so worried. If anyone has gone through something similar, I’d appreciate hearing your experience. Or if anyone has any advice?
- Harm OCD
- POCD
- Students with OCD
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- Older adults with OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Real Events OCD
- "Pure" OCD
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 22w
Does anyone imagine they are doing their harm thoughts during an action, making you feel like you acted on your thoughts? For example, someone gave me a hug and at the last second I imagined I was touching something I shouldn’t during the hug? I want to make it clear it’s something I have zero desire to do! But the problem is, I thought it on purpose and it makes me sick !! Obviously nothing happened but my mind is telling me that was me trying to do it. Even though it was physically impossible to do. Am I a monster or could this be OCD? I’m freaking out and don’t want to be here anymore. I feel like I’m the exception and that this isn’t OCD. I know I post about this stuff a lot but I’m struggling and don’t know what to do.
- Date posted
- 21w
So, I know my capacity to get fixated on things. And it's normally something that's relatively remote but, my latest issue is really getting to me and I was wondering if people have any advice. I'm avoiding getting too into specifics, as I don't want this to get reassurance-y but, in essence.. I came to the realisation recently that people who I'd been "friends" (feels like the wrong term now) when I was younger were not very nice people, and normalized a lot of very unpleasant behaviour towards other members of the group. They really normalized it, sold themselves as figures of authority, as older and more responsible and grown-up than others, and looking back, they acted horribly. And coming to this realisation, that I'd been manipulated into just accepting their behaviour has just... broken me. My OCD has latched onto it and I can't stop feeling irreversibly tainted by it. I've talked to others about it, and they've reassured me, told me it's not a big deal and that I hold myself to too high a standard, but none of that sticks. I feel better for a bit, then think 'Maybe when you told them you were skewing it to make yourself look better' or 'Did you leave out a crucial detail'. I keep ruminating over and over, trying to remember exactly how everything played out, trying to figure out if I fed into the behaviour, if I did something bad myself (because y'know, I feel like I was accepting of it at the time, so what does it say about my own values?). I know I need to stop doing all this if I want to improve, but then some part of me keeps saying 'So, you're just going to let yourself off the hook then?' Normally, I can rationalize my own fears to some degree, assure myself something won't happen, but the realness of the situation, and the fact I only came to understand the reality of it because the thought had been bothering me means it feels so much more all-encompassing. I know confessing in itself is a compulsion, but I keep feeling that if I'm not I'm somehow concealing what I 'really am' from others around me, and any positive interactions are me deceiving them in some way. I feel like I can't enjoy anything in life right now, and a good part of me feels I should not enjoy it ever again. If anybody has any advice on it, I'm all ears. Or even hearing if you relate to these feelings, I might appreciate the solidarity at least.
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