Jordn
- Date posted
- 3y
Tajmcd10Tajmcd10
- Date posted
- 3y
I was there once it was my biggest obsession. I would track his every move. Made him not have any girls that were friends ( which he totally has a right to) but I was so scared. I had to realize that if they are going to cheat there is nothing you can do to stop it. And you have to tell yourself that you cannot predict the future ( no one can!) and if it does happen you will deal with it then!
JordnJordn
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you so much for replying! I struggle with having feelings that he’s cheating and feeling like it’s so real. I fall into the trap every time and end up really upsetting him. My biggest fear is missing a red flag because I’ve missed so many in the past. What if I never find out? What if I’m too stupid to notice?
JordnJordn
- Date posted
- 3y
@Jordn In past relationships ^
Tajmcd10Tajmcd10
- Date posted
- 3y
@Jordn I had the exact same thing. Mine was around what if I miss his location going somewhere that I didn’t know and I miss it and don’t confront him. You aren’t stupid and if it does happen and you don’t find out there is nothing you could do u did nothing wrong at all. It’s not your job to worry about this because the only person you can control is yourself. In my situation a girl came forward later and said she slept with my boyfriend! It was my worst fear coming true! But because I watched him like a hawk I remembered that exact night and knew he didn’t! in fact he was over an hour and 20 mins away when the girl said she was over there! With OCD we doubt everybody including ourselves. My biggest struggle was not explaining to my boyfriend what OCD is because this isn’t you talking, you trust your bf and love him just like I love mine. If you explain to him or if you go to therapy have your therapist explain to him he might understand and not take such offence. OCD feelings make it so real ( the pit drop in your stomach, the sadness, the anger, the worry). I feel the biggest issue you have is your OCD doesn’t allow you to trust your instincts and judgement and at the end of the day your ocd is the meanest person ever! the what if’s are the worst but you have to remember you can’t predict the future!
JordnJordn
- Date posted
- 3y
@Tajmcd10 Sorry my response didn’t tag you in it below!
Tajmcd10Tajmcd10
- Date posted
- 3y
Your relationship is completely different then both your pasts! as well you were at a different stage in your life at that time! OCD sucks it feels like you will never be able to be happy!
JordnJordn
- Date posted
- 3y
Sorry for the later reply.. I just wanted to thank you for reaching out and allowing me to hear some of your story! It truly helps to make me feel less alone and crazy. My partner knows about all of it. He cheated on his previous girlfriend a few years prior to us dating and so he is also reminded of his past when I get triggered and accuse him. He tried to make their relationship work after he knew he messed up but she couldn’t trust him anymore obviously. It’s very sticky for the both of us considering our pasts. But you’re right, the most I can do is be in control of myself and let go of the added responsibility of making sure he doesn’t cheat…that’s his job and has nothing to do with me. It’s absolutely terrifying, nonetheless. God I hate ocd.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond