Jordn
- Date posted
- 3y
Tajmcd10Tajmcd10
- Date posted
- 3y
I was there once it was my biggest obsession. I would track his every move. Made him not have any girls that were friends ( which he totally has a right to) but I was so scared. I had to realize that if they are going to cheat there is nothing you can do to stop it. And you have to tell yourself that you cannot predict the future ( no one can!) and if it does happen you will deal with it then!
JordnJordn
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you so much for replying! I struggle with having feelings that he’s cheating and feeling like it’s so real. I fall into the trap every time and end up really upsetting him. My biggest fear is missing a red flag because I’ve missed so many in the past. What if I never find out? What if I’m too stupid to notice?
JordnJordn
- Date posted
- 3y
@Jordn In past relationships ^
Tajmcd10Tajmcd10
- Date posted
- 3y
@Jordn I had the exact same thing. Mine was around what if I miss his location going somewhere that I didn’t know and I miss it and don’t confront him. You aren’t stupid and if it does happen and you don’t find out there is nothing you could do u did nothing wrong at all. It’s not your job to worry about this because the only person you can control is yourself. In my situation a girl came forward later and said she slept with my boyfriend! It was my worst fear coming true! But because I watched him like a hawk I remembered that exact night and knew he didn’t! in fact he was over an hour and 20 mins away when the girl said she was over there! With OCD we doubt everybody including ourselves. My biggest struggle was not explaining to my boyfriend what OCD is because this isn’t you talking, you trust your bf and love him just like I love mine. If you explain to him or if you go to therapy have your therapist explain to him he might understand and not take such offence. OCD feelings make it so real ( the pit drop in your stomach, the sadness, the anger, the worry). I feel the biggest issue you have is your OCD doesn’t allow you to trust your instincts and judgement and at the end of the day your ocd is the meanest person ever! the what if’s are the worst but you have to remember you can’t predict the future!
JordnJordn
- Date posted
- 3y
@Tajmcd10 Sorry my response didn’t tag you in it below!
Tajmcd10Tajmcd10
- Date posted
- 3y
Your relationship is completely different then both your pasts! as well you were at a different stage in your life at that time! OCD sucks it feels like you will never be able to be happy!
JordnJordn
- Date posted
- 3y
Sorry for the later reply.. I just wanted to thank you for reaching out and allowing me to hear some of your story! It truly helps to make me feel less alone and crazy. My partner knows about all of it. He cheated on his previous girlfriend a few years prior to us dating and so he is also reminded of his past when I get triggered and accuse him. He tried to make their relationship work after he knew he messed up but she couldn’t trust him anymore obviously. It’s very sticky for the both of us considering our pasts. But you’re right, the most I can do is be in control of myself and let go of the added responsibility of making sure he doesn’t cheat…that’s his job and has nothing to do with me. It’s absolutely terrifying, nonetheless. God I hate ocd.
Related posts
apricotallie
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 25w
so scared about my future
hi everyone. i'm terrified about my future with my spouse. we've been fighting a lot recently because they cheated on me on our wedding night... making out with someone else. this really really hurt me. they now want a break because they can't handle my severe anxiety about the situation. i know reading this you're probably like wow that's a real asshole right there and i deserve better. but truly i love my spouse and they're a great person. they're just triggered. i'm afraid the marriage triggered them. i'm afraid they're going to leave me. my ocd is telling me the more i really think about it my intuition is telling me that they will leave me and we won't work it out. and now i feel like im manifesting that on purpose. i'm freaking the fuck out and i feel so lonely and sad.
Mazy420
- Date posted
- 25w
Advice on this situation 😭
I’m at a loss about what to do. I’ve been with my partner for about a year. I’ve wanted to be with him for 3 years and now I finally have him, I got out of a really toxic 11 year relationship about 4 years ago so I’ve had plenty of time to heal, things where going so great at first in our relationship and I’m still very much happy with him, I love him more than anything, but the past 5 6 months I’ve been having a constant fear that he’s gonna cheat or watch 🌽behind my back any chance he gets , I know that’s a touchy subject for some, but me personally it just makes me feel that I’m not attractive enough,or feel like I’m not good enough, I’ve never found evidence of cheating, and I’ve found 🌽 in his history once but I told him how I felt and he told me he understood how I felt and wouldn’t do it again,and I know the constant asking everyday and needing for reassurance with it is putting a tear in our relationship, I just want to fix it. Does anyone have any advice on how to redirect my brain whenever I start overthinking about it when I’m not around him? It just puts so much stress on me when I’m not around him cause I’m just constantly in my head about it.
cam123
- Date posted
- 23w
Stressing about my relationship
Me and my boyfriend have only been together for a short period of time....and he's head over heels for me...at least he says so. All the time I'm so scared he's going to break up with me or any time something is uncomfortable I shut down and think I did something or he's thinking about me in a negative way and I don't know how to stop it. He doesn't do anything to seem like he wants to break up with me, but any time he does something a little different then normal I immediately think of the worst. If he's being really quiet I'll be thinking *is he going to break up with me* *does he not want to be with me* *is he just hanging out with me right now because he wants a girlfriend to pass the time* all of that stuff. And honestly I'm so scared..... because what if my thoughts are true?
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond