- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Wonderful post thank you ❤️
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
Hi I just have a few questions! (Im 14 btw) Okay so basically I’m really worried I’ll become a pedo/I already am and I don’t know it yet. I’m also really scared if I SA someone, even tho I don’t want to and I’d never do something like that but I feel like this part of me is saying that I will and it’s really scaring me. I feel so alone and I’m so scared I’m a bad person on the inside and this isn’t ocd and I’m gonna unleash hell on this earth I’m so scared. I’ll get a thought like if I’m walking past someone random it will be like “What if you sa them?” And it scares me so bad I feel horrible for thinking that. Is this apart of it? I feel like I’m always fixated on the topic of sa to check if I would do something like that, I don’t know anymore I just feel like a bad person (btw I have not done anything like that to anyone!)
- Date posted
- 19w
I am so scared of everything .Of my thoughts.If I am a good person.Years ago I didnt help a kid who was in danger.Since then I started to have terrible thoughts :( i am so terrified.I still have these thoughts and I am scared it means something about me .I really dont want to hurt anyone and I want to help that kid now but idk how I can now.Also I am scared I betray everyone.I still have terrible thoughts and when I am with someone I care is worse...idk why.For example I started to talk with a collegue and he is really nice to me.I told him some things abt me( not the intrusive thoughts) and he was supportive.I have no idea if I will tell anyone abt my thoughts..and bcs of that I feel like I lie to them and betray them.I really want to enjoy my life and be happy and support people( especially because I didnt help that kid then).I want to live up to my morals now but I feel like I lie and manipulate people bcs I am a monster.Is this normal? To feel this way? What can I do? What if I am my worst fear and just cant accept it?!
- Date posted
- 19w
Sometimes it feels like I’m chasing pleasure with my intrusive thoughts. Like I just keep thinking them over and over, or even making them worse, because maybe deep down I *want* them. And that’s honestly scary. It feels like I’m trying to prove I’m a bad person or even a p*dophile just to see if I feel disturbed enough for it to count as “real distress.” But sometimes, I don’t even feel that bad. Sometimes it’s just… nothing. Because if I don’t feel guilty or sick enough, doesn’t that mean I like it? That I want to keep thinking about it? Sometimes it feels like I like it. And that’s when I spiral the hardest. But lately, I’m starting to think maybe I’m not actually chasing pleasure. Maybe I’m just chasing certainty. This desperate need to feel bad enough to prove to myself I’m a good person. And when I don’t feel that level of distress, I panic. I do compulsions, just trying to force that feeling. But it never feels “right.” It never feels enough. And I get stuck in this loop of testing, checking, pretending to be okay with these awful thoughts just to see how I’ll react. It’s confusing. It’s exhausting. And it makes me question everything about myself. But I think I don’t actually want these thoughts. Maybe I just want to know, with 100% certainty, that I don’t. If you’re stuck in the same cycle, I see you. You’re not alone. You’re not your thoughts. You’re just trying to make sense of something that doesn’t make sense. And that’s okay.
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