I need help. I’ve been feeling disconnected today more so than before. Not from reality obviously since I’m able to post this and am aware but deep inside I just don’t feel like 100% like I feel off. I have pure O and these days I’m worried about what’s going to happen to me. I know it’s irrational but I can’t seem to
cope. I have depression and GAD, too. I have a hard time accepting all these. It’s been two years. My husband tells me I’m dumpling or complaining all the time. Others tell me I complain about the same thing - that I feel spaced out etc. Deep inside I feel conflicted, lack of confidence and constantly comparing myself now versus before. I’m able to work and come up with great ideas but I just hate that outside of work I feel lost. Going outdoors don’t give me joy like I used to. I also look down on myself for having mental issue. I’m trying to convince I’m not going crazy but I fear and think what if? Used to be so happy and grateful before. Now even my faith in God is waning and I question myself. I just want to truly live again without any fears and this feeling of being out of it. I welcome thoughts on how to cope and if you experience the same things. I just want to feel normal. Sometimes I imagine like what if I can turn this OCD into my super power. I’m also tired and disappointed that I have to take meds for my mental health. I fear that it is causing me to be spaced out. How did I let myself go this way. I
wish there were warning signs.