- Username
- 7710 ❤️
- Date posted
- 2y ago
If you didn’t want your partner, you wouldn’t be anxious! Its a very thin line and it’s difficult to realize when you’re in the thick of it, but if you didn’t want him it would come from a solid place of knowing. Knowing isn’t fear based. You can’t make any real decisions from a place of fear. Hang in there, I’ve been there 100% and I’m struggling with a different version of this theme but I can tell you that when I look back to when I was dealing with your version, I realize that it was ocd talking 99% of the time.
What are u going thru?…
@7710 ❤️ I’m terrified my partner is cheating or that I’m in an unhealthy relationship. It used to flip flop between this theme and what you’re experiencing (what if I don’t love him, what if he’s not attractive, etc.) and as soon as we moved in together (about 9 months ago) I no longer question him at all. Instead I’m absolutely enamored by him and feel so in love, but scared he’ll abandon me. OCD tries to find anything and everything to get you out of your relationship, and once you’ve “conquered” one theme, it moves on to the next.
@Jordn …..it’s like I know I don’t love him…. I’ve told myself so many times that I didn’t love him to test myself that I feel it’s true and that I wanna break up… all that to get a reaction… I know love is a choice…. But it doesn’t feel that way… I’m worried I am with him bc or the wrong reasons…
@7710 ❤️ It sounds like you’re checking your feelings, which is another compulsion. Are you seeing a therapist?
This can’t be real right!? This has to be a nightmare!!
how can you know that for sure? you may not. but, I have relationship OCD, and I have had those exact thoughts. ocd is a bully, trying to go against your morals and values constantly. when you are battling OCD, everything feels so daunting, so mine has definitely tried to convince me “i can’t do this anymore”, to taunt me to just get away from the pain. i would say sit with it and focus on the things in your relationship that you are grateful for! i bet you that you will soon be able to reflect that your thoughts were just the monster. they are meant to scare you! you can do this and if you’re relationship is healthy and loving, stick with it in my opinion
aw❤️🩹
Can’t cry… 😞
aw do your best to know that these thoughts will pass. I don’t know your relationship but this sounds like you are just really triggered, tired, and struggling. I’ve been there! still there❤️🩹
if your partner loves and accepts you just as you are in this moment, that is what is priceless to me, if you cherish that, keep going!
He does. My partner understands my problems… before this I was happy.. I was triggered so badly I was never the same again.. We are both laying down and I put his hand on my face crying softly without him noticing… i want be with him like before. I never felt this before. I haven’t done anything romantic in months. I avoided him so much I don’t feel right touching him… my partner has his own mental health issues that merge into my own..
So I’m not in a good pkace
Place
Has anyone gotten to the point with ROCD whether you question if the relationship is actually want you want anymore ? I can’t tell if this feeling/thought is OCD anymore or if I genuinely need to leave. I really don’t want to feel this way but I don’t know if wanting to be with my partner or wanting to love him is enough. I’ve had all the extreme anxiety before but no longer. It just feels off, numb like something is missing that I can’t put my finger on. My mind is saying that maybe it just is my time to leave and move on. I can’t figure out if this is just another OCD tactic or true 🤷🏻♀️
I really need someone to talk to… just to vent… if not.. i just need get this out and everything can ignore if they want.… I don’t know what to do… I know I’ve been severely obsessing for 2 year about if I truly love my partner or not for 2 years… I am severely saddened about how I feel right now…. Before I knew I wanted to love him and stay.. it felt genuine like I was really mentally sick… but now… my partner looks like a stranger to me, I get annoyed at him easily even if he’s just sitting still… it’s like he’s a different person to me and I hate it… I wanted so badly for me to know if I love him or not… and it’s like our time together never happened… I don’t cuddle talk or do much of anything anymore with him and it bothers me… I feel no emotional connection with him… maybe his flaws are too much for me… 😢😢 I don’t know…. I want to love him again like before but I completely feel like I’m lying to him and myself… I don’t wanna end my relationship I really don’t want to… I do t know how badly ROCD can get but… this is the worst I’ve ever had… my relationship is gonna die… 😢 I’m sitting here quietly crying while he is asleep….
I no longer get reactions to testing my feelings… Right now I am just sitting here thinking have I ever been truly happy with him? Do I actually just wanna break up?… I am sitting here believing I don’t love him romantically anymore thinking I am only with him to avoid hurting him… that deep down I know I don’t love him anymore… that I don’t wanna admit it.. that’s all I am thinking about… I am worried I don’t love him enough to move forward with him… 💔😢 I love him a lot I really do and just sitting with theses feelings are difficult enough. It’s affecting my work performance since I always walk off and hide. To read about ROCD. I even had my hours cut short so I don’t have to be there long like this. But I think I just hate my job to be honest… it’s burning me out… so I think I need a new one… I just don’t know what to do… I don’t wanna break up with him but then this thought comes in and makes me think I am with him for the wrong reasons. Can’t have sex as much as I would want to bc then I think I am not attracted to him enough… I still touch him but then I stop… My 12 year relationship is gonna die… how can I sit here and let this feeling pass…
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