- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
If you didn’t want your partner, you wouldn’t be anxious! Its a very thin line and it’s difficult to realize when you’re in the thick of it, but if you didn’t want him it would come from a solid place of knowing. Knowing isn’t fear based. You can’t make any real decisions from a place of fear. Hang in there, I’ve been there 100% and I’m struggling with a different version of this theme but I can tell you that when I look back to when I was dealing with your version, I realize that it was ocd talking 99% of the time.
- Date posted
- 3y
What are u going thru?…
- Date posted
- 3y
@7710 ❤️ I’m terrified my partner is cheating or that I’m in an unhealthy relationship. It used to flip flop between this theme and what you’re experiencing (what if I don’t love him, what if he’s not attractive, etc.) and as soon as we moved in together (about 9 months ago) I no longer question him at all. Instead I’m absolutely enamored by him and feel so in love, but scared he’ll abandon me. OCD tries to find anything and everything to get you out of your relationship, and once you’ve “conquered” one theme, it moves on to the next.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Jordn …..it’s like I know I don’t love him…. I’ve told myself so many times that I didn’t love him to test myself that I feel it’s true and that I wanna break up… all that to get a reaction… I know love is a choice…. But it doesn’t feel that way… I’m worried I am with him bc or the wrong reasons…
- Date posted
- 3y
@7710 ❤️ It sounds like you’re checking your feelings, which is another compulsion. Are you seeing a therapist?
- Date posted
- 3y
This can’t be real right!? This has to be a nightmare!!
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
how can you know that for sure? you may not. but, I have relationship OCD, and I have had those exact thoughts. ocd is a bully, trying to go against your morals and values constantly. when you are battling OCD, everything feels so daunting, so mine has definitely tried to convince me “i can’t do this anymore”, to taunt me to just get away from the pain. i would say sit with it and focus on the things in your relationship that you are grateful for! i bet you that you will soon be able to reflect that your thoughts were just the monster. they are meant to scare you! you can do this and if you’re relationship is healthy and loving, stick with it in my opinion
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
aw❤️🩹
- Date posted
- 3y
Can’t cry… 😞
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
aw do your best to know that these thoughts will pass. I don’t know your relationship but this sounds like you are just really triggered, tired, and struggling. I’ve been there! still there❤️🩹
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
if your partner loves and accepts you just as you are in this moment, that is what is priceless to me, if you cherish that, keep going!
- Date posted
- 3y
He does. My partner understands my problems… before this I was happy.. I was triggered so badly I was never the same again.. We are both laying down and I put his hand on my face crying softly without him noticing… i want be with him like before. I never felt this before. I haven’t done anything romantic in months. I avoided him so much I don’t feel right touching him… my partner has his own mental health issues that merge into my own..
- Date posted
- 3y
So I’m not in a good pkace
- Date posted
- 3y
Place
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w
I don’t understand why I don’t feel happy, why my mind keeps making me think so negatively about him. Nothing makes me feel joy anymore. I keep thinking that he’s stupid, that I don’t like him, and when he speaks kindly to me, I feel nothing. The worst part is that I feel completely numb, like I have no emotions at all. And that makes me think that maybe I really don’t like him, that I will eventually reach a point where I realize my worst fear is true. I keep fighting with him because of my attitude. I treat him badly, and I know it’s because of my thoughts. I can’t see the good in anything. Today, he told me that I would be better off without him because I always seem so sad. He moved to my city for university just to be with me, and instead of making his life better, I feel like I’m making it worse. The thoughts don’t stop, even when I’m with him. I see people posting about how they feel calm when they’re with their partners, but I don’t. I can’t look at him without having intrusive thoughts, and I can’t even kiss him. Today, he told me that he doesn’t feel loved by me anymore, that I treat him poorly. I am constantly afraid because I feel nothing when he says things to me, because I don’t feel like I care. When I look at pictures of us from when I was in a better place, I feel like I was a completely different person. I start thinking that I’ve “matured” and that’s why I don’t feel anything anymore—like maybe I only liked him because I was young and naïve. Everything he does and says irritates me, but he loves me. What if I’m only with him because I don’t want to hurt him? What if I’m just used to him? I feel scared all the time. I don’t understand what’s happening. He keeps trying to apply logic, but it doesn’t work on me. So many times, he has tried to make me feel better, to tell me that I still care about him and that I don’t need to feel love all the time. But my heart breaks when I see how attached he is to me while I feel like I don’t feel the same way. I feel like I’m hurting him, and I don’t know how to get out of this dark place . He keeps trying to apply logic, but it doesn’t work on me. So many times, he has tried to make me feel better, to tell me that I still care about him and that I don’t need to feel love all the time. But my heart breaks when I see how attached he is to me while I feel like I don’t feel the same way. I feel like I’m hurting him, and I don’t know how to get out of this dark place
- Date posted
- 13w
Lately, I’ve been feeling extremely confused and guilty. My boyfriend has been really busy with exams, and we haven’t talked much this past week. I don’t really feel like I miss him, and that scares me. It makes me think maybe I don’t love him anymore, maybe I’ve changed, and maybe this relationship doesn’t feel right for me anymore. A few days ago, a friend invited me to go to a club with her and another girl. I know that if I went without my boyfriend, he would feel bad — not because he’s controlling, but because in our relationship, we’ve always had mutual boundaries and respect. I decided not to go, but ever since, I’ve been spiraling. My thoughts keep going: “What if I didn’t go just because of him?”, “What if I actually wanted to go, but I stopped myself because I don’t really love him?”, “What if I’m holding myself back and this relationship is limiting me?” All of this makes me think I’m bored, that I don’t like him anymore, or that I’m staying out of habit. It’s hard to tell what I really want or whether these thoughts are part of ROCD or some deeper truth. I keep wondering if I’m just attached to him because he’s my first boyfriend and we’ve been together for so long. Sometimes I even think I wouldn’t care if we broke up, and that I don’t feel anything for him anymore — and that absolutely destroys me, because he’s such a good person who truly loves me. He doesn’t deserve to be treated with so much doubt and coldness. I feel miserable. I don’t know what’s real and what’s just obsession. It hurts that I can’t feel any clarity or peace. I just want to know if this is ROCD or if I’m in denial and refusing to accept the truth
- Date posted
- 10w
I keep having this overwhelming thought of "I need to break up with her," however I really don't want to. It causes me so much anxiety when I try to fight the urge to the point that I'm bed ridden and unable to work. Is this normal for ROCD or am I just fighting my actual feelings?
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