- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
If you didn’t want your partner, you wouldn’t be anxious! Its a very thin line and it’s difficult to realize when you’re in the thick of it, but if you didn’t want him it would come from a solid place of knowing. Knowing isn’t fear based. You can’t make any real decisions from a place of fear. Hang in there, I’ve been there 100% and I’m struggling with a different version of this theme but I can tell you that when I look back to when I was dealing with your version, I realize that it was ocd talking 99% of the time.
- Date posted
- 3y
What are u going thru?…
- Date posted
- 3y
@7710 ❤️ I’m terrified my partner is cheating or that I’m in an unhealthy relationship. It used to flip flop between this theme and what you’re experiencing (what if I don’t love him, what if he’s not attractive, etc.) and as soon as we moved in together (about 9 months ago) I no longer question him at all. Instead I’m absolutely enamored by him and feel so in love, but scared he’ll abandon me. OCD tries to find anything and everything to get you out of your relationship, and once you’ve “conquered” one theme, it moves on to the next.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Jordn …..it’s like I know I don’t love him…. I’ve told myself so many times that I didn’t love him to test myself that I feel it’s true and that I wanna break up… all that to get a reaction… I know love is a choice…. But it doesn’t feel that way… I’m worried I am with him bc or the wrong reasons…
- Date posted
- 3y
@7710 ❤️ It sounds like you’re checking your feelings, which is another compulsion. Are you seeing a therapist?
- Date posted
- 3y
This can’t be real right!? This has to be a nightmare!!
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
how can you know that for sure? you may not. but, I have relationship OCD, and I have had those exact thoughts. ocd is a bully, trying to go against your morals and values constantly. when you are battling OCD, everything feels so daunting, so mine has definitely tried to convince me “i can’t do this anymore”, to taunt me to just get away from the pain. i would say sit with it and focus on the things in your relationship that you are grateful for! i bet you that you will soon be able to reflect that your thoughts were just the monster. they are meant to scare you! you can do this and if you’re relationship is healthy and loving, stick with it in my opinion
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
aw❤️🩹
- Date posted
- 3y
Can’t cry… 😞
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
aw do your best to know that these thoughts will pass. I don’t know your relationship but this sounds like you are just really triggered, tired, and struggling. I’ve been there! still there❤️🩹
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
if your partner loves and accepts you just as you are in this moment, that is what is priceless to me, if you cherish that, keep going!
- Date posted
- 3y
He does. My partner understands my problems… before this I was happy.. I was triggered so badly I was never the same again.. We are both laying down and I put his hand on my face crying softly without him noticing… i want be with him like before. I never felt this before. I haven’t done anything romantic in months. I avoided him so much I don’t feel right touching him… my partner has his own mental health issues that merge into my own..
- Date posted
- 3y
So I’m not in a good pkace
- Date posted
- 3y
Place
Related posts
- Date posted
- 16w
Right now I feel like I’ve realized something awful. Like maybe… I never truly loved my boyfriend. Maybe in the beginning I was just excited to be in a relationship. Maybe I confused that excitement with real love. And when the intrusive thoughts started, maybe it wasn’t ROCD — maybe it was the truth hitting me. I write this and it feels real. That’s the scariest part. It feels calm and clear and like maybe I’ve just been lying to myself all along, holding on because I “should,” not because I truly want to. I can’t remember how it felt to love him — and that makes it worse. I feel so disconnected, so numb, like nothing makes sense anymore. Every time I try to feel something for him, it feels like I’m faking it. Like I’m playing a role, not being myself. But the thing is… I’m not at peace. If this was really the truth, why does it hurt so much? Why does this “realization” come with panic, guilt, emptiness, and so much fear? I don’t want to hurt him. I don’t want to lose him. But I also don’t want to keep living like this — doubting myself, my feelings, and my past. I feel like I’m stuck in a cycle I can’t break, and I’m scared I’ll always feel this way. Has anyone ever felt like this before?
- Date posted
- 14w
I feel like I shouldn’t be with my partner anymore, but I have no clear reason why. I feel sad every single day, I have a constant heaviness in my chest, I cry often, and I start arguments with him. I can’t remember the good memories. Everything feels distant, fake, or tainted. I don’t know why I love him — and all my thoughts tell me that I never truly did, that I only wanted to feel something, and now I finally see the truth. The worst part is that it all feels so real. I feel lost. I feel numb. I feel guilty. I can’t feel love right now, but some part of me still wants to hold on, still wants help. I don’t want to make any decisions right now. I just want to know I’m not alone. Has anyone else gone through this?
- Date posted
- 13w
for a few days now I’ve been super anxious about my relationship. I’ve been anxious about it before but lately it’s been worse than normal. I’m in a very healthy and loving relationship, I love my boyfriend so much and he treats me so so well. The only thing is that I’ve been having scary thoughts that what if I’m lying to him and don’t actually love him? What if I don’t find him attractive? And like what if the only way to stop being anxious is to break up with him? I don’t want to leave him and I am so scared. I feel like I’m lying to him by not telling him what’s going on because he might think I’m actually going to leave him, which I’m really not going to. I have had anxiety since before we started dating and incestual and sexual ocd, then I got into a point where I started having religious ocd, and now I have ROCD on top of that I think. I’ve never been diagnosed but I’m going to therapy and figuring things out but I’m so scared. Idk what to do and I feel like if I talk to anyone they’re going to say I have to leave him.
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