- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Ong god I am also dealing with the similar one with what u are dealing. Honesty it is very hard sometimes but if u wanna talk u can talk to me. I am here
- Date posted
- 3y
I will probably post about it again. I’m just so scared right now. I don’t know what else to do. I keep having thoughts of “what if the mistake you made makes you equivalent to a monster” or “that’s something a monster would of done” and telling me I need to be punished and that I’m never going to be happy or forgiven ever again. But I’ve talked to my first therapist I had about it and my mom as well and my mom told me that I’ve punished myself enough and that when I asked her if I was being too hard on myself, she said yes I was being way too hard on myself but I’m scared still. It doesn’t matter what anyone says or tells me. I feel so worried about the past and what it means about me. I keep hearing “The past does not define you” but I don’t believe that. I was a teenager, I never had bad intentions then and I definitely don’t now and I don’t think I ever will. I’m a good person with a huge heart but everything from my past is telling me otherwise. I just wish I could go back knowing what I know now
- Date posted
- 3y
@Just Breathe ❤️ Bro u literally just explain what I was feeling except I was a child that time but teenagers are also stupid so don't worry too much
- Date posted
- 3y
@Just Breathe ❤️ If only I could tell you how much I relate to this.I’m not going to say what I did bc I’m so scared.Bit when I was 8 I did nasty discusting things,I think that no one else has done.Satan puts it in my mind,Calls me a zoophile,Monster, disgusting person,Monster,Everyday I’m here crying.But to everyone suffering from the past including u:Can we go back,Can we change what we did,No right,Then what’s the use in thinking and thinking and thinking about it when it’s the past. Isaiah 43:18 -19 says,”forget the former things;do not dwell on the past. I know you don’t want to hear this but,It is the past,And ppl are 100% right,Every single person here has prob done nasty,horrible, disgusting things in life when they were young(I was 8 when I did horrible things)But we all have to work together and let it go. I wanna help people bc when I grow up I wanna go to college and become a therapist:)
- Date posted
- 3y
@Ashleyyy101 I was 7 or 8 when I did some sexual stuff with another person who is around mine age but I am sacred that I didn't really get their consent and I was manipulating her or something like that. It has been so long that I don't really remember it detail and mine memories are hazy. I am almost 18 and I have been suffering for 3 months.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Realsupercell123 I got expose to porn at that age by someone older
- Date posted
- 3y
Keep your head up.It’s hard.I know how you feel I’m 13 and I’m getting sexual images and I get urges and thoughts.Your not alone.And no your not a bad person.You do not deserve to give up.God made you and he don’t make no mistake.Don’t let Satan wrap your around his finger and tell u lies.I’m a Christian:) keep ur head up you got this!:)
Related posts
- Date posted
- 17w
I know I keep talking about This but I’m too tired :( I’m really struggling and I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like I might be the only person who experiences this in the way I do. It’s gotten so bad that during intimacy or self-pleasure, I feel like I’m acting on a thought — like my body is moving because of it. It’s terrifying and deeply hurtful. The moment it happens, I immediately panic, try to rewind everything in my head, and ruminate to figure out what I was thinking at that exact second… but I can never remember. That makes it even worse. feel so lost and hopeless, like I’ll never be able to heal or move on from this. People tell me “it’s just OCD,” but it doesn’t feel like OCD to me. It feels like I’m the exception — like no one else truly experiences it like this, especially the part where it feels like I physically responded to a thought. I know people say “others go through this too,” but my mind keeps saying, “not like this, not this specific thing.”Sometimes I just wish I could go back and relive those moments so I could be sure what happened, but I know that’s not possible. I feel so stuck in guilt and doubt that I don’t even know who I am anymore. I’m scared I’m a bad person and that I’ll always feel this way. I’ll never be free or be the same again everyday I live with deep depression
- Date posted
- 17w
I would really appreciate it so much if someone took the time to read this and help me. I don’t know what to do anymore. I haven’t posted here in awhile. I had my OCD managed pretty decently for a year or so on medication, but I had to stop taking it, and after around 3-4 months, the OCD has become unbearable again. It used to be much more surrounding existential themes, eating, and others, not really real event/false memory stuff. But now it’s gotten really out of hand and I don’t know how to do it anymore. It’s surrounding a time of my life a long time ago. It was a dark time. I wasn’t myself and I was going through a lot of things, and I did a lot of things I regret. I self-destructed, embarrassed myself, and wasn’t good to the people around me. I was able to get my mind off of it for a long time, even though I would still think about it a good amount. I was able to be in the present, at least moreso than now. But now that I’m off medication, the guilt has become my obsession again. I can’t move on. I can’t do anything without thinking about all of these memories. I’m obsessed. I’ve started hating myself again, so much so that it’s hard to do anything anymore or believe I deserve anything good. The people around me tell me it wasn’t even that bad, but to me it was. To me, I failed myself, lost myself, and failed everyone around me. I can’t stop thinking about every person I said something wrong to or every time I screwed up. I’ve now started to convince myself I did terrible things I can’t remember, and that my mind just can’t deal with it. And that’s why I feel so guilty. There’s nothing to really support this though. But I’m starting to really convince myself that’s true. I’m trying not to listen to it, because I’ve convinced myself I have hit people with my car before and haven’t remembered when I absolutely didn’t and I know I never have. I drive back over and over to check there’s no one, even though I never heard any bang or felt myself anything. I can convince myself of some crazy false memories. So I know that I shouldn’t listen. But it’s hard not to when I have this guilt gnawing at me constantly. I come to conclusions that this guilt must be because I did something terrible that I don’t remember, even though I already think the things I remember were bad enough. But I would know by now right? If I did something bad I don’t remember? I don’t feel like this all the time. But it’s a lot of the time. But maybe that should be reassuring, that I only start obsessing like this when I think to. The past haunts me though. And I can never be in the present. I’ve started to resort to some unhealthy behaviors to distract myself or help me work towards something. I am starting to hate myself so much and feel like there’s no way I’ll ever be able to get out of this loop. I feel like I just can’t do this anymore. Maybe I need to go back on medication. But I don’t know. I don’t really want to. But will I ever fix this without it? Why do I feel SO guilty, all of the time? I do all these things for people because I feel indebted to them, because I feel undeserving of everything. I feel awful about myself. I don’t know what to do. Does anyone else deal with this?
- Date posted
- 13w
I've had a horrific subtype that has been affecting my day to day life. I think it's snuck in due to good things occurring in my life. If I can't forgive myself for my past, why should others? I'm happy knowing I'm not alone with these thoughts, but knowing it was OCD all along and I could have suffered so much less if I was diagnosed as a child... Decades worth of compulsive checking, thinking I'm worse than a monster... I just want to breathe normally again. I feel guilt with each breath. It's too much.
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