- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
And thank you for always responding. It helps knowing I’m not alone.
- Date posted
- 3y
You’re welcome that’s why I love this app too 💙 Also it helps me to focus on other peoples feeling a bit and stop worrying about my own for a moment.
- Date posted
- 3y
Sounds like you’re describing the intrusive thought stage! Then once you get scared you are ruminating or over interpreting. Also you might get the unhappy feeling after “checking” on your feelings which I’ve found can be a hidden compulsion. I’ve also seen people talk about how everyone gets those sorts of feelings and probably ignore them knowing they’re normal or chalk them up to a bad mood, but as ROCD folks we see them as threatening (which is putting too much stock into our thoughts)
- Date posted
- 3y
Yeah idk this is like a feeling though. Not a thought. Like it FEELS off. But I do think that’s because I’m checking. Like if I think, “oh I wanna tell him about my day,” I’ll get this weird “gut” feeling that something is off or that I don’t want to. And then I will THINK, “oh he doesn’t want to hear about my day or maybe I’ll tell him and then he won’t care at all.” And then that continues. I think I have something inside telling me not to get too close and I think it’s because I’m actually just super terrified that I’m not enough for him and he doesn’t care about me and all that. But I also don’t ruminate on it. It kinda stops there. But then it will happen a lot later. Like I don’t feel like I’m having normal feelings. It seems like my mind is trying to escape or protect myself.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Cassandragoth I think this is the thing where thoughts and feelings happen so quick that it’s actually pretty hard to detect them sometimes. Like, something brings up a feeling, you observe the feeling, and then you think, “oh no, i feel like I don’t want to be with him” and that all happens in a split second. If you stop yourself from ruminating on it in that moment that’s good! But it sounds like you are a bit since you’re posting about it lol :) (relatable)
- Date posted
- 3y
@Cassandragoth I have also gotten in the trap of not being able to tell if feelings are normal or not and the panic starts to just snowball. I haven’t figured out how to stop it. All I’ve figured out is trying to figure it out makes it worse. Like trying not to read into it and determine if something is wrong. But then it is really painful still to endure the fact that I feel so off and I feel guilty about that and miss the love feelings. But I’ve started to conquer the we-need-to-breakup and I’m-a-fraud type feelings by replacing them with “ah I get like this sometimes, it sucks, I need to just wait for it to pass and maybe once I’m calmer I can think more clearly.” But like I said waiting for ir to pass sucks and I haven’t figured out how to escape them :(
- Date posted
- 3y
@jello86 Yes this is exactly where I’m at too now which is good. But I know it will happen again. I’ve been listening to anxious love coach a lot which really does help
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
i’m anxious because after my boyfriend and i got in a argument i was “daydreaming” or thinking about what it would be like dating someone else who was more “right for me” and what if i was excited about that possibility like i had already moved on from my boyfriend. but when i really think about it i don’t want to be without him and don’t want to picture us breaking up. i know i love him but those other thoughts scared me and im now questioning if they mean im falling out of love with him. and if that’s the case i feel like i need to confess that. but at the same time these thoughts could be ocd because the “daydreaming” started after we had been getting in arguments a lot and then i kept seeing other couples interact online and i compare my relationship to that. but then when i think about my own relationship i have everything i want and am being treated how i want to be treated. i’m just scared that because i have had those thoughts about being with someone else that i need to break up him because our relationship is tainted now and i need to start over and do everything perfectly. i think these thoughts are triggered my us fighting and him not fully understanding my rocd and me looking at relationships where the boyfriend understands the girlfriends ocd and supports her and wanting my relationship to me more like that. which logically i know doesn’t mean we have to break up and i need to start over. i can just bring up this issue and communicate what i want and how i want to be supported. i just feel like i need to confess all these thoughts and that i “daydreamed” about being with someone else (no one in particular) and how im now focused on his flaws in comparison to couples online.
- Date posted
- 12w
Do you ever feel like you wonder if your ocd would be less if you were with someone else? Or would it be better if you were with someone else? I’m really upset because I used to be able to enjoy myself even with the anxiety and now it’s like i am just analyzing and I don’t have feelings and I’m irritated because there’s things that frustrate me about him that I don’t like and my brain says if I was with someone else I would be able to deal with those things better and that we just aren’t right for each other. And the thoughts that used to make me anxious about breaking up don’t like it’s really me that feels it. I know no relationship is perfect but it’s like my brain keeps saying with someone else I wouldn’t feel like this or I would but I’d be able to handle it better. It feels like I have to just start fresh with someone new cause the ocd got too into this to the point where I don’t feel or even know what’s real. It feels like fear and anxiety and just being so into this has just made me feel not into this anymore but idk if I’m thinking right. It’s also just warped the way I see him like I only see the negatives and my brain keeps saying you don’t feel this cause it’s wrong. And it’s depressing bc of how happy and safe I used to feel. I’m supposed to see him soon and it’s like I want to but also don’t because I feel like things have changed unless that’s just something I made in my head and cause I don’t feel the feelings I used to. But then I think I will just be this way with someone else but then my brain says otherwise and it’s so confusing. People keep telling me not to make decisions because I’m fogged but it feels like I’m not. Like my brain is manipulating me. And also like all the things I used to like I’ve somehow turned into like distaste which is so upsetting. I would like to think this is just ocd taking control and confusing me and distorting my perspective but I’m scared it’s not and that my feelings are gone. Has anyone experienced this but it was still ocd?
- Date posted
- 10w
I have had ocd in my relationship for a while now. When I originally met him it was like this insane spiritual soulmate feeling and we just clicked instantly and he never judged me. I’m scared cause when I picture breaking up with my boyfriend I see myself being ok and being sad but moving on which I never was able to see before doesn’t this mean that this is what would happen or I don’t know till it happens? I still can’t imagine what life would be like without him but I just feel like I have lost feelings that I never wanted to lose. plus that’s also when I just picture knowing how people move on and how I’d just have to move on without letting myself picture processing the losses of all. I’m just really scared cause I used to think of wanting other things in someone else and what it would be like but I just thought how nice it would be to have it and not actually meaning it bc every time I thought about it I got upset and now it feels diff. He knows I have ocd but I never explained the ROCD because I thought it would have offended him so every time I went through a flare up I never told and acted like I was fine and it kept happening and OCD kept getting worse and worse. Maybe that’s part of the issue cause I haven’t been feeling like myself. But this is a feeling I never wanted to feel ever with him. I have gone through the feeling of numb but not like this. And he has a lot of positives but I can only see him overall as negatives and I’ve been told that’s ocd but it’s affecting how I feel. And yes there are legit actual things in the relationship that upset me but ocd has been affecting the way I look at him also. I keep being told my judgment is being impaired but this time it rly feels like not. And I’m Scared why don’t memories and things affect me like it used to doesn’t that mean I want this. Has anyone experienced this or is this the end 😭
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond