- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
And thank you for always responding. It helps knowing I’m not alone.
- Date posted
- 3y
You’re welcome that’s why I love this app too 💙 Also it helps me to focus on other peoples feeling a bit and stop worrying about my own for a moment.
- Date posted
- 3y
Sounds like you’re describing the intrusive thought stage! Then once you get scared you are ruminating or over interpreting. Also you might get the unhappy feeling after “checking” on your feelings which I’ve found can be a hidden compulsion. I’ve also seen people talk about how everyone gets those sorts of feelings and probably ignore them knowing they’re normal or chalk them up to a bad mood, but as ROCD folks we see them as threatening (which is putting too much stock into our thoughts)
- Date posted
- 3y
Yeah idk this is like a feeling though. Not a thought. Like it FEELS off. But I do think that’s because I’m checking. Like if I think, “oh I wanna tell him about my day,” I’ll get this weird “gut” feeling that something is off or that I don’t want to. And then I will THINK, “oh he doesn’t want to hear about my day or maybe I’ll tell him and then he won’t care at all.” And then that continues. I think I have something inside telling me not to get too close and I think it’s because I’m actually just super terrified that I’m not enough for him and he doesn’t care about me and all that. But I also don’t ruminate on it. It kinda stops there. But then it will happen a lot later. Like I don’t feel like I’m having normal feelings. It seems like my mind is trying to escape or protect myself.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Cassandragoth I think this is the thing where thoughts and feelings happen so quick that it’s actually pretty hard to detect them sometimes. Like, something brings up a feeling, you observe the feeling, and then you think, “oh no, i feel like I don’t want to be with him” and that all happens in a split second. If you stop yourself from ruminating on it in that moment that’s good! But it sounds like you are a bit since you’re posting about it lol :) (relatable)
- Date posted
- 3y
@Cassandragoth I have also gotten in the trap of not being able to tell if feelings are normal or not and the panic starts to just snowball. I haven’t figured out how to stop it. All I’ve figured out is trying to figure it out makes it worse. Like trying not to read into it and determine if something is wrong. But then it is really painful still to endure the fact that I feel so off and I feel guilty about that and miss the love feelings. But I’ve started to conquer the we-need-to-breakup and I’m-a-fraud type feelings by replacing them with “ah I get like this sometimes, it sucks, I need to just wait for it to pass and maybe once I’m calmer I can think more clearly.” But like I said waiting for ir to pass sucks and I haven’t figured out how to escape them :(
- Date posted
- 3y
@jello86 Yes this is exactly where I’m at too now which is good. But I know it will happen again. I’ve been listening to anxious love coach a lot which really does help
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
When my boyfriend and I are apart, it honestly feels like I've lost all feelings for him. I start questioning everything, wondering if I even love him at all. Then, when we're finally together again, the memory of those earlier doubts creeps in and completely ruins the moment. I get so caught up in overthinking and analyzing my feelings that I can't even enjoy being with him. It's like I'm constantly second-guessing myself. The worst part is, sometimes later, when we're still together, I do feel the love. But then the anxiety kicks in again! I start worrying that I'm just faking it because I had those doubts earlier in the day. It's this endless cycle of questioning, doubting, and overthinking, and it's exhausting. I'm really struggling to stay present when we're together, and it feels like this constant cycle is preventing me from truly connecting with him. We have been together for three years and we love together, and I just started feeling this way about a month ago; it’s been almost every day since. One day, I randomly thought about breaking up with him. Our relationship is healthy, especially compared to my previous toxic one, where I was anxiously attached for two and a half years. My boyfriend is very supportive of me. I have talked to him about my doubts and everything I’m experiencing, and he continues to support, care for, and help me through it all. I am very grateful for that. One aspect of my current relationship that I would like to improve is our communication, but we are both willing to work on it together. I often find that my overthinking leads me to question whether I really want to try to fix things or if I’d rather just continue as we are. This creates a constant push and pull in our relationship. Has anyone else experienced something similar? Any advice on how to break this cycle and just be present in the moment? I'd love to hear from anyone who's been through something like this.
- Date posted
- 18w
I feel like I want to break up with my partner and go off and experience things like falling in love and butterflies and magic again. My partner is my home and my family and my rock and we’re compatible but sometimes it feels like I have these unfulfilled needs. And then ocd comes in and SCREAMS about these things and pulls me away from my partner. We’ve been together ten years. It says leave leave leave leave leave. And I feel like deep down I don’t want to stay. But I know love is a choice. How can I choose to stay when my body is screaming rub. I know I have ocd, and this is what ocd feels like, and I also have a lot of trauma regards to attachment. Am I being a coward??? Will this ever end?
- Date posted
- 13w
Lately, I’ve been feeling extremely confused and guilty. My boyfriend has been really busy with exams, and we haven’t talked much this past week. I don’t really feel like I miss him, and that scares me. It makes me think maybe I don’t love him anymore, maybe I’ve changed, and maybe this relationship doesn’t feel right for me anymore. A few days ago, a friend invited me to go to a club with her and another girl. I know that if I went without my boyfriend, he would feel bad — not because he’s controlling, but because in our relationship, we’ve always had mutual boundaries and respect. I decided not to go, but ever since, I’ve been spiraling. My thoughts keep going: “What if I didn’t go just because of him?”, “What if I actually wanted to go, but I stopped myself because I don’t really love him?”, “What if I’m holding myself back and this relationship is limiting me?” All of this makes me think I’m bored, that I don’t like him anymore, or that I’m staying out of habit. It’s hard to tell what I really want or whether these thoughts are part of ROCD or some deeper truth. I keep wondering if I’m just attached to him because he’s my first boyfriend and we’ve been together for so long. Sometimes I even think I wouldn’t care if we broke up, and that I don’t feel anything for him anymore — and that absolutely destroys me, because he’s such a good person who truly loves me. He doesn’t deserve to be treated with so much doubt and coldness. I feel miserable. I don’t know what’s real and what’s just obsession. It hurts that I can’t feel any clarity or peace. I just want to know if this is ROCD or if I’m in denial and refusing to accept the truth
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