- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
And thank you for always responding. It helps knowing I’m not alone.
- Date posted
- 3y
You’re welcome that’s why I love this app too 💙 Also it helps me to focus on other peoples feeling a bit and stop worrying about my own for a moment.
- Date posted
- 3y
Sounds like you’re describing the intrusive thought stage! Then once you get scared you are ruminating or over interpreting. Also you might get the unhappy feeling after “checking” on your feelings which I’ve found can be a hidden compulsion. I’ve also seen people talk about how everyone gets those sorts of feelings and probably ignore them knowing they’re normal or chalk them up to a bad mood, but as ROCD folks we see them as threatening (which is putting too much stock into our thoughts)
- Date posted
- 3y
Yeah idk this is like a feeling though. Not a thought. Like it FEELS off. But I do think that’s because I’m checking. Like if I think, “oh I wanna tell him about my day,” I’ll get this weird “gut” feeling that something is off or that I don’t want to. And then I will THINK, “oh he doesn’t want to hear about my day or maybe I’ll tell him and then he won’t care at all.” And then that continues. I think I have something inside telling me not to get too close and I think it’s because I’m actually just super terrified that I’m not enough for him and he doesn’t care about me and all that. But I also don’t ruminate on it. It kinda stops there. But then it will happen a lot later. Like I don’t feel like I’m having normal feelings. It seems like my mind is trying to escape or protect myself.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Cassandragoth I think this is the thing where thoughts and feelings happen so quick that it’s actually pretty hard to detect them sometimes. Like, something brings up a feeling, you observe the feeling, and then you think, “oh no, i feel like I don’t want to be with him” and that all happens in a split second. If you stop yourself from ruminating on it in that moment that’s good! But it sounds like you are a bit since you’re posting about it lol :) (relatable)
- Date posted
- 3y
@Cassandragoth I have also gotten in the trap of not being able to tell if feelings are normal or not and the panic starts to just snowball. I haven’t figured out how to stop it. All I’ve figured out is trying to figure it out makes it worse. Like trying not to read into it and determine if something is wrong. But then it is really painful still to endure the fact that I feel so off and I feel guilty about that and miss the love feelings. But I’ve started to conquer the we-need-to-breakup and I’m-a-fraud type feelings by replacing them with “ah I get like this sometimes, it sucks, I need to just wait for it to pass and maybe once I’m calmer I can think more clearly.” But like I said waiting for ir to pass sucks and I haven’t figured out how to escape them :(
- Date posted
- 3y
@jello86 Yes this is exactly where I’m at too now which is good. But I know it will happen again. I’ve been listening to anxious love coach a lot which really does help
Related posts
- Date posted
- 18w
I have had ocd in my relationship for a while now. When I originally met him it was like this insane spiritual soulmate feeling and we just clicked instantly and he never judged me. I’m scared cause when I picture breaking up with my boyfriend I see myself being ok and being sad but moving on which I never was able to see before doesn’t this mean that this is what would happen or I don’t know till it happens? I still can’t imagine what life would be like without him but I just feel like I have lost feelings that I never wanted to lose. plus that’s also when I just picture knowing how people move on and how I’d just have to move on without letting myself picture processing the losses of all. I’m just really scared cause I used to think of wanting other things in someone else and what it would be like but I just thought how nice it would be to have it and not actually meaning it bc every time I thought about it I got upset and now it feels diff. He knows I have ocd but I never explained the ROCD because I thought it would have offended him so every time I went through a flare up I never told and acted like I was fine and it kept happening and OCD kept getting worse and worse. Maybe that’s part of the issue cause I haven’t been feeling like myself. But this is a feeling I never wanted to feel ever with him. I have gone through the feeling of numb but not like this. And he has a lot of positives but I can only see him overall as negatives and I’ve been told that’s ocd but it’s affecting how I feel. And yes there are legit actual things in the relationship that upset me but ocd has been affecting the way I look at him also. I keep being told my judgment is being impaired but this time it rly feels like not. And I’m Scared why don’t memories and things affect me like it used to doesn’t that mean I want this. Has anyone experienced this or is this the end 😭
- Date posted
- 18w
Lately I’ve been having moments where I want to be single and explore other possibilities, like new relationships or flings. Sometimes I even feel like I do not want to marry my partner. Those moments honestly scare me. In the last two days alone, I almost broke up with my boyfriend three different times. I love him, and I want to love him without these moments/urges to leave. I’ve been feeling especially numb and distant this past month, and while my OCD has been quieter, my connection to the relationship feels like it’s slipping. I feel like I might be glorifying the idea of being single, like the freedom and exploration seem so idealized. I’ve been looking for posts that sound similar to what I’m going through (yes, I know that’s a compulsion), and I’ve found a few that made me wonder if maybe OCD is more involved in this than I initially thought. I just really don’t understand how. Could it be a mix of my numbness and OCD? Could the urge to explore or the emotional flatness around the relationship be OCD showing up in a different way? One other thing I’ve noticed: whenever my boyfriend is sweet or romantic, I feel this deep guilt or just nothing. Like I cannot say “I love you” back without feeling like I’m lying. It makes me feel like a bad partner. I just want to understand how OCD might be playing a role in all of this.
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- Date posted
- 9w
Hi, I have been experiencing the worst relationship anxiety. I have been with my boyfriend for well over 3 years. He is truly amazing and helps me in almost every way. We are both faithful Christian’s. About 7 months ago is when I began having doubts and intrusive thoughts about the relationship: “Am I attracted to him?” “Do I love him?” “Why am I doubting?” “Does God want me to leave?” And it has taken its toll on me. I am to the point now that my worries have worsened into “Do I actually want to be with him?” “How do I know if I want to be with him?” No matter how many times I tell myself that I DO want to be with him, I still question it. Can someone please help me. I don’t want to break up with him. I just can’t even trust myself anymore. I also have not been officially diagnosed with OCD. But, I relate to everything ROCD and have been diagnosed with anxiety.
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