I made my partner feel useless he says he doesn’t feel like he’s trying hard enough and that it feels like it will never be enough…
I told him there was a lot of things that I will worried about and I told him I needed more help.. he told me he just feels like he is holding me back from an easier life. That I would be better off without him… I couldn’t even react bc I was so drained emotionally…
He told me why didn’t you tell me that’s things sooner!?! I told him it was my an issue until we moved into my sister’s house which they won’t be here until next month now which means no fridge… we have a mini one but it doesn’t have a freezer…
I told my partner I am just drained and just want things to be less stressful
My family always bothers me for rides and that I only feel they let us move here bc I have a car…
I told him I wish the car would break down so I can just be left alone… no one will help me if my car breaks down. No one will give me leeway on rent. But they constantly ask for rides and my car is showing wear and tare..
I told him I don’t wanna be responsible anymore I told him everyone tells me to relax but how can I with all this stress.. I know when my ROCD was bad it blamed him for everything and not everything is his fault… I dropped him off at work crying my eyes out saying I really do love you you know! I couldn’t stop crying. He was scared about me driving back home and begged me to calm down before I started driving
I started crying too saying I hate working 8 hours everyday… 5 days a week that I just want a break… even on my days off I am always doing things for people… it’s not fair that everyone gets to relax but me….
I even kissed him and felt like I didn’t like it anymore…
One day earlier this week he comforted me and I felt so happy after and knew I loved him. I even went to work happy and bought him a card and gift. I could be happy saying I know I love him. Work things triggered me and when my partner wanted sex it triggered me…
Haven’t been happy since…. I need help but it doesn’t feel like I need it when I clearly do… when I describe things to someone it’s like the symptoms disappear… I’ve been obsessing so much about if I love him or if I want to be with him I got too use to it… I do want my partner to work on his issues bc he needs too. I know I do too..