- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I definitely support finding age appropriate ways to conduct sex education, starting with conversations around basic consent and body autonomy with small children and as a child ages that we start discussions around healthy and safe relationship dynamics including the physical and emotional components. There are a few educators doing work around this already so I’m hoping for a societal shift.
- Date posted
- 3y
Stuff like this should already be strongly regulated to fit the norm for societies and schools. It's heartbreaking to hear that many children are exposed to hardcore violent sexual imagery that only hurts them in the long run by adulthood.
- Date posted
- 3y
You're not the only one. I think I started getting intrusive images since I was like 10 years old or so, I had a tablet and I started searching things out of curiosity like "naked people"
- Date posted
- 3y
I'm really sorry to hear that. We get curious about these things and we want to know more about the way we work as people. It's just so unfortunate that there's a lot of bad sources that will hurt them in the long run. Has it gotten better for you?
- Date posted
- 3y
@BigGip09 I don't really know if it was only out of curiosity, because I continued to search for more so maybe I enjoyed watching them, but I just know that the intrusive images that appeared later in my life, probably consequences to this early exposure to p*rnography, were something that I absolutly didn't want to have, nor enjoyed them. For the latter question, I don't reallyknow. OCD has its ups and downs, but its downs are always very low. However talking about these things here has been very liberating. Everytime I do it, I feel like a weight has been lifted off my chest. Also sorry if I have deleted this reply a lot of times, it's because I kept noticing grammar mistakes and I felt the need to correct them.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Nameless000 Don't worry about it. I think it's a mixture of things. Curiosity, guilt, and arousal all at the same time. At the time you probably felt some ounce of anxiety when you saw things like that, but you also enjoyed them at the same time. You continued to look for those things because they made you feel good. That's how it would work for most people, including me. It hijacks your feel good hormones and dopamine highs and you continue to seek it. I don't blame any child or teenager that's caught under something like that. Something they don't exactly understand whatsoever. We won't really know for sure but it is good to talk about. That I do agree with. For me, searching about the topic alone was enough to make me understand myself a lot more. At the same time though, it gives me a lot of difficulty due to the addiction I've had with p*** when I was only a teenager. It wasn't healthy and it was replacing what I really wanted in my life at the time: A healthy relationship with someone else and my household environment not to be toxic. I used it as an escape and I didn't want to let go of those feelings. Later on, I started to imitate what I saw in p*** with other people that I've conversed with at the time. I regret most of it, but I also don't blame myself like I used to before reading what I did.
- Date posted
- 3y
@BigGip09 Wow thanks for the great insight!! I feel sorry for what you went through, I too was born in a toxic household, and I didn't have many friends, so I coped everything with the internet, which isn't the best thing for a kid, considering everything that can go wrong (and went). I'm happy that you realized that you shouldn't be too harsh on yourself over past mistakes, what is important is the you "now" and the fact that you feel regret means that you have changed.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Nameless000 I wasn't necessarily born in one, but it escalated between constant arguing between parents and that's not good for a kid. I'm glad I was able to help you with talking about it. Talking about this stuff helps for me because I get better insight over the past and what others are going through. Best feeling is noticing others that feel your pain.
- Date posted
- 3y
B
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
TW: themes of sexual abuse, exploitation, etc Hello I am feeling a bit distressed today. I realized I have pretty “sex negative” views which I feel like many stem from OCD and trauma. Some of my feelings are good and I would argue most stem from a healthy place but I feel like they impact my life and emotional state on an unhealthy level. For example feel VERY strongly about CSA, rape, sexual exploitation of any kind, unethical sex etc. I have a strong pattern recognization ability and see how so many things people deem as “sex positive” (porn, onlyfans, casual sex etc) have a net negative effect on society (abuse, cheating, stds, etc) I think a good amount of the population agrees with these values so I don’t feel alone in that but I feel like I spend so much time being sad over these things. I used to listen to a lot of sexual music growing up (mainly mainstream pop like Ke$ha and Rihanna) and then in my teens I listened to a lot of rap. I noticed how this made me sexualize myself growing up which makes me very uncomfortable and sad. Another thing which makes me sad is how so much of the population was exposed to pornography at a young age. I recently was at a estate sale and there were old playboy magazines and this man was showing his son who looked to be about 9 the magazines and it made me so uncomfortable because that’s grooming and abuse. I didn’t know what to do so I just said “ew” but I still feel guilty I did not do anything more. I just don’t know how to cope with these feelings. I am also Catholic and the abuse crisis has deeply impacted my ability to practice my faith. Two priests whom were close to my family got exposed for sexually abusing children. This is a big reason I have not been able to go to confession (which leads me to being unable to receive the Eucharist, which is a big deal). I constantly obsess over the fact I won’t be able to tell who is a sexual predator and it brings me great distress. Also, sexual music, sex scenes in movies, sexual jokes etc all make me deeply uncomfortable. Hearing about my friend’s sexual lives also makes me very uncomfortable and sad for them, in a way, if I deem their experiences unethical. I feel very upset when people sexualize themselves. I also hate when I experience sexual feelings myself and often find myself wishing I was asexual even though I wish to get married and be a mother. I feel judged by society for being a “prude” “puritanical” etc which feels incredibly invalidating as a lot of my trauma involves exploitation under the guise of “liberation” I don’t really know where I’m going here I think I just want to know if anyone feels similarly. I don’t find many people with views and feelings similar to myself. A lot of people online who I feel like my views overlap with (other Catholics, radical feminists, etc) have views which stem from a lot of judgement and hate whereas I feel like I just want everyone to be safe and happy. I think a lot of my feelings stem from my trauma but obsessions from OCD? For my other forms of OCD (contamination, harm, etc) I feel like exposure therapy helps but I don’t know how I’d go about exposure therapy with this then without further causing more distress. I feel very nervous opening up with anyone about this theme. If you read to the end thank you so much❤️🩹 I am sorry if this post was triggering at all to anyone else I just didn’t know where to go to open up about this :(
- Date posted
- 21w
Hey guys I just wanted to talk about something I was feeling I feel so trapped and terrible I have a bad pornography addiction even back then idk what to do I'm 17 years old but basically I looked at some very obscure things on the Internet ranging from hentai or just even more messed up things when I was younger I think maybe early teens I remember randomly just started remembering things I saw now I do not remember if I acted on them or jerked off to them idk what to do I feel so ashamed trapped I feel like I can't enjoy life anymore for what I've done I been introduced to porn when I was young idk what to do I seem alot back then some memories pop certain ones I don't remember if I had pleasured myself to it it feels like I did I have so much shame if I did but idk what to do
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- Date posted
- 21w
I think I know what honestly is what caused my OCD. I’ve never told anyone this but I have to if I want help. When I was either 10 or 11, I think 10 I was at my family’s thanksgiving dinner. Around this time I discovered porn and got addicted. I would watch porn and read erotica. Because of this I guess I wanted to experiment. I feel absolutely horrible just thinking about this but I was playing around with my little cousin, he was around 7 I think and I remember we were playing chase or hide and seek, and I grabbed him and hugged him (something I never done before), and got a boner. I did this for pleasure. That’s all I did that was sexual but I feel so horrible. I try to give myself grace as I was only 10 and didn’t know the consequences of something so disgusting. I keep thinking “what if I went farther and hurt him?”. I talk to him sometimes and he seems comfortable with me and I think he doesn’t even remember this ever happened and just thought I hugged him for some reason all those years ago. I am NOT attracted to him at all but I think this incident and remembering it when I was 14 has caused my OCD such as POCD for all these years. I am 18 now but I feel absolutely horrible. And now it’s even worse because I have been invited to his 15th birthday party in Mexico. I’m traveling all the way to another country just to be near him! Obviously I know I won’t touch him or be innopropriate with him. But what if he has felt uncomfortable with me all this time? He seems fine with me and not uncomfortable around me but still. If I feel as if I go to this trip, I am a horrible person. I don’t know what to do. Am I a horrible person for what I did and continuing to be around him? I remember reading Reddit and Quora stories of similar people who felt horrible and people told them to not feel bad as they were only children and they learned and now know that was wrong and that to not tell anyone as it could only make things extremely awkward.Please help. I know COCSA is a very serious topic that harms people and I feel like a horrible perpetrator now.
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