It's okay to not feel connected, or the sparkle or special with your bf all the time. Especially after some times, some days you can be just bored, or even annoyed by him. It doesn't means that you don't love him! It's normal!! Trust me. I have been in your situation; and I did get out! I gained my feelings back too!! It is important that you stop question and test yourself. You say "I feel that I don't care if we break up but I do"! That's exactly an example of what you should stop doing! You know, the "do I love him??" To see if you get sad anxious, in love... etc!. Try to sit with your feelings; without being scared by what they could possibly mean.
Remember, love is a choice! If you want to stay, you can! No matter how you feel, no matter what you keep doubting!
@eoid I love your answer !
I’m in the same boat. I feel so numb towards him and there are times where i really want to break up bc i feel like it would be for the best but then i think about how i would feel after the reality of losing him sets in. I’m scared to feel that but i can’t get out of my head about how i feel nothing right now and it’s so confusing.