I’ve been in the same dating relationship for over two years and I still do this- often! I’m constantly asking him if something is wrong (when nothing really is) and if he’s okay. I’m also always wishing he’d say something to reassure me that everything is good, that he still likes me, that we are still planning on a future. I totally get this. And the more I ask him, the worse I feel because I think I’m just going to annoy him and make it difficult to deal with me! The first thing is, when you’re ready, be clear with him! I explained to my boyfriend how my brain tries to trick me into thinking things are wrong, so I asked him to be super honest and come straight to me if something really IS wrong. That way I don’t have to ask all the time, because I know we’ve established that he will just let me know! I also just asked him to be patient with me. A simple talk goes a long way. What also helps me is mentally separating what’s real and what’s not real. Maybe sit down and decide now what types of feelings and situations you’re going to choose to ignore even when your brain doesn’t want to. For me, the “gut feeling” is usually actually OCD.
Thank you, this is really helpful! It's really hard because he honestly sucks at being romantic and expressing feelings. And thats okay, we both have to learn, but he told me that he took a couple of months before breaking up with his ex while he was thinking about it for those months. So I've been trying to convince him to don't do that with me and be honest with me. The reaction I got is that he'll try but that he finds it hard. So I made clear to him that he would hurt me more by keeping me on the hook, so he knows that. But it's still so fucking scary
Absolutely. I get that. The guy I’m dating had never had a serious girlfriend before. Like ever. So sharing emotions was super hard for him at first. I’ve also realized that I’m not the only one who’s growing and needs patience, and I decided he was worth it:) so if you decide he’s worth working on that with, that’s great!! communication is key
Thank you a lot! It's hard to realise that you need to work on yourself because I know that if I keep on handling my relationship this anxious I'll push him away. It's nice to know that I'm not alone, thank you so much!