Hello everyone! My name is Paul, I'm 29 year-old guy from Russia. English is not my native language, so I apologize for grammar. Anyway...I'll try to describe my problem. Currently I'm suffering from POCD, and I feel like I'm dying, it's really terrible and scary. This is just like one big mess in my head, and i feel really confused. Everything began 3 weeks ago, when I saw some news about pedofiles on YouTube. After that a thought just popped up in my head: "What if i might become or already be a pedofile?!" I said: "naah, bullshit seems I'm just tired", and I went to sleep. On the next day I woke up with anxiety and this thought. Later on after few days my condition developed further and worsened, other symptoms added. I immediatly contacted my psycotherapist. I've been working with him for 7 years, and he helped me a lot, when I had hypohondria, HOCD, schizophrenia OCD etc.This time once again he explained everything, and told me what to do...but...I feel like I can't. Everytime when I try to do ERP, I stop it because of panic fear and anxiety. Even though doctor said that this is just OCD, I'm still confident that I'm turning into pedofile or have some sexual disorder. The reason that makes me think this way is that every symptom feels real..that groinal resonse, some sensations in body, very similar to sensations when you look at adult attractive girl. I can't say that I have real arousal but...I'm afraid that I feel attraction. It usually happens when I look at 11-14 year-old girls on the street. It's like: why am I looking there? Do I feel something, omg no, seems I have some sensations that looks like attraction...Am I attrected to this girl?! And it repeats over and over again hundred times during the day, I pay attention to every child, every young girl aged 11-15, afraiding that I might feel something. Feel tired and depressed, I don't want to be a pedofile, I wanna stay myself. My entire life I loved only adult girls, sometimes younger, sometimes older but not under age, and was happy living my sexual healthy heterosexual life. I will be really thankful for any words of support, or if you share expirience and thoughts, thank you for reading this.

I fear I may have POCD, I am terrified of being a pedophile. my symptoms were initially strong surges of anxiety. I made the mistake of looking up what pedophilia is about and now I fear I am one. I have a bad masturbation problem and that didnt help, as now I feel a weird feeling down below and its distressing me. I'm only 20, this never happened to me before and now I only feel confusion and doubt, Ive cried like never before cause of this.

I'm posting something after a long. I have multiple Ocd themes and my main themes of sexual ocd is incest Ocd and Hocd and POCD has never been so active but today something happened that has been bothering me for a while. I was traveling in a bus and there I saw a kid/young teen. When I saw him, I instantly found him so attractive and then BOOM.. I started feeling like I'm attracted to him. I felt confused. I literally found him attractive and also thought that he would look really fine after growing up his face was so attractive but I don't want to be into him at all. I feel like I'm so much into him. I'm feeling very bothered by this feeling. I feel like I'm in denial and I should accept my attraction towards him. I don't want to feel this way at all. I don't understand what to do, how to figure out this feeling. I'm 99% sure that there was an underlying attraction I felt when I looked at him and realized that he is good looking. I feel like dying from inside and extremely confused. He's not in my bus now and I feel urges to just see him once to finally figure out that I'm into him or not but he is not here. I think I'm a pedophile which I don't want to be and everything is finished now, nothing would be same in my mind because I'm so paranoid and feeling like I'm into him. Please somebody help me and let me know if anyone of you has ever felt this way having POCD.

Im 16 years old and female and up until very late last year and this year I’ve been having thought almost every day that I’m a pedophile or that I’m sexually attracted to or want a romantic relationship with child. I don’t know how to explain it and I don’t want judgment because I’m genuinely so scared and disgusted, but anytime I’m around children I feel my chest tighten, my body feels warm and it feels like I don’t know how to breathe. I sometimes get a groomer response but even then I don’t know if it’s a ground response or not. Also I tend to stare at children when I’m anywhere near them, I feel like if I don’t I’m a weirdo and if I don’t look at them it means I’m attracted to them which I guess could be POCD but I feel like I stare at them inappropriately. Not too long ago maybe three weeks ago I went to the park with my family and there were two girls in their swim suits and I was looking at their backsides and I felt really anxious and scared like I usually do but I felt so upset by looking at them that way and now I’m scared to go to pools or splash pads because every time I do I feel like I stare at them gross and I just feel so disgusted with myself. When I tell myself not to look I end up looking and then I stare. I feel better when I’m not around them but even then, I look back at what I saw earlier that day and I feel anxious again and then I look up what’s been happening and then I feel more worried it’s not OCD. My friends who have OCD say I might have it but I can’t get a therapist, I can’t talk to anyone I’m scared I’ll be put in jail and that I’m not a good person. I’ve never head thoughts like this until this year and near the end of last year and they come now? I don’t know what to do.