Europeans know that the media is full with the possibility of a war between Russia and Ucraine, and all i can see is that people are ready to the war, it will be a war here too,they will put us to fight and kill people to save ourselfs... and my mental health isnt the best for that right now, im thinking of i will not survive that, i will get crazy or super depressed, i will get lot of ptsd which will be worse bc of my weak mental health and it will be a suffering. Got to a point where i was affraid that life will not matter to me and the amount of stress will make me to kill myself bc i will feel so hopeless... and the scary part is that i felt the hopelessnes and im scared, my mind is so anxious that it thinks about suicide, bc theres no hope in a world like this... and that just made me more anxious and hopeless that i can think like this and actually i might thinked that if that happens i kill myself bc life will not be how i imagined. Can ocd confuse you this much? Im feeling guilty again, this is not how i should think...

Thank you for the answer, i still deal with that thought bc that happened a lot of times that when something felt hopeless or bad i got feelings of i dont want to live like this, i want to die... or if something will happen i dont want that to happen, or i will kill myself bc life will be hopeless then. And this thinking scares the shi out of me and puts me to feel disapointed about myself that i thinked that so i reather try to say its ocd... but idk what is it...

And now my mind says that i feel better bc i ask for reassurance or support in everywhere, so that means im desperate=like suicidal people, so that means im that.... like it tries to prove me im in actual danger bc of these thoughts...

@woahman It can be pure torment, a lot of what you're describing is very familiar to me. Almost all of it is a symptom of your brain malfunctioning to a certain degree. It's really hard to explain to you what I want to say but I believe you already know most of it. If you can, buy one of the recommended books on OCD (Brain Lock might be a good one for you) but the thing that'll help you the most, even if you currently may not believe it and it all seems hopeless, is ERP. A painful process but the most effective one. Try finding a good therapist who has experience with OCD and specifically ERP. Your main theme seems to be Suicidal OCD, which is a common theme and can be treated, like all themes, to a fairly high degree.

@ocdalltheway You had the same and it was just ocd? People here tell me i might have real ideation and that puts me into feeling more confused and now i gave up findig out, i had enough...