laurlpn
- Date posted
- 6y
weeping willowweeping willow
- Date posted
- 6y
My harm ocd was triggered by by children but it started way later. I had been binge watching alot of documentaries on Netflix about woman who kill for like I week straight. I use to love those kind of shows. One night my 5 year old asked me to play with her and all of the sudden this thought just popped into my head, I can't even remember it exactly but I was shocked by it so I kept thinking about it. I ended up in a night long panic attack. From that point on I couldn't get it out of my head and i just kept thinking what does this mean about me! What kind of person am I! I love my kids so much and they have been my world since the day they were born. So I kept ruminating for weeks. I went into a severe depression, I stopped eating and I woke up every night in panic thinking I would black out or go crazy and hurt them. It was a nightmare. I eventually went to my therapist and got on paxil. That seemed to make the ocd subside but I hated the side effects so I weaned off of it. I have been dealing with it on my own and some days are better then others. Alot of exposure has helped me and I feel alot better then I did 5 months ago.
anna bananaanna banana
- Date posted
- 6y
my mom had exactly that post partum. she hated being alone around my big sister because she was afraid of hurting her.
Benica000Benica000
- Date posted
- 6y
Me! Started when baby was 2 months old. I got triggered by a story I heard and that was it... wouldn’t stop, thoughts got worse, I stopped eating, was so anxious, panic attacks etc. I tried so hard to keep up with everything but the compulsions and mental review was so overwhelming...I eventually started therapy and things got better but it took time. I still struggle some days though. How old is your baby? What are you experiencing?
laurlpnlaurlpn
- Date posted
- 6y
Some days suck :(
Benica000Benica000
- Date posted
- 6y
I’ve been in therapy for two years - some days are amazing! Some days or weeks suck so bad :( I’m so happy that you got help right away! Therapy was such a good thing for me (still is)
laurlpnlaurlpn
- Date posted
- 6y
My baby is 2 months and it got triggered by a shaken baby video at the hospital the thoughts were what If I shake the baby or hurt the baby in some way or what if I lose my mind and family and end up locked up I’ve started therapy and Prozac and I’m on my way to recovery
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Dreamydream
- Date posted
- 21w
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mfernandes1
- Date posted
- 17w
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Anonymous
- Date posted
- 17w
POCD and changing baby diaper - please help
Hi NOCD community, I was hoping to get some advice from fellow sufferers. In December we welcomed the first baby into the family, my beautiful niece. Since then, my POCD has been awful, which I know is probably very normal. Last week, in the middle of a very high stress day in my family, I was changing my niece and as usually happens, I got intrusive thoughts about awful things people do to babies when changing them. The thoughts were so harrowing to have as I was also changing her at the exact same time, and I felt my hands just quickly want to finish patting her dry before putting her nappy on, and for some reason, my heart dropped with that hand movement, because I was afraid that I had acted out the awful thoughts in my head, in a moment of mania because my morals, values and heart do not align with abuse of any kind, especially to children. My niece is my everything, and I know I would never want harm to come to her in any way, shape or form. I love her endlessly. I am having therapy, but have only had a couple of sessions. But, I cannot shake the 'what if'. I am tortured over trying to remember what it was I did that made my heart drop, but I can't, and its getting fuzzier and fuzzier the more I try to remember. Could anyone offer any advice on this please? Thank you.
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