Has anyone suffered from post partum OCD harm thoughts? Please share your experience

My harm ocd was triggered by by children but it started way later. I had been binge watching alot of documentaries on Netflix about woman who kill for like I week straight. I use to love those kind of shows. One night my 5 year old asked me to play with her and all of the sudden this thought just popped into my head, I can't even remember it exactly but I was shocked by it so I kept thinking about it. I ended up in a night long panic attack. From that point on I couldn't get it out of my head and i just kept thinking what does this mean about me! What kind of person am I! I love my kids so much and they have been my world since the day they were born. So I kept ruminating for weeks. I went into a severe depression, I stopped eating and I woke up every night in panic thinking I would black out or go crazy and hurt them. It was a nightmare. I eventually went to my therapist and got on paxil. That seemed to make the ocd subside but I hated the side effects so I weaned off of it. I have been dealing with it on my own and some days are better then others. Alot of exposure has helped me and I feel alot better then I did 5 months ago.

my mom had exactly that post partum. she hated being alone around my big sister because she was afraid of hurting her.

Me! Started when baby was 2 months old. I got triggered by a story I heard and that was it... wouldn’t stop, thoughts got worse, I stopped eating, was so anxious, panic attacks etc. I tried so hard to keep up with everything but the compulsions and mental review was so overwhelming...I eventually started therapy and things got better but it took time. I still struggle some days though. How old is your baby? What are you experiencing?

Some days suck :(

I’ve been in therapy for two years - some days are amazing! Some days or weeks suck so bad :( I’m so happy that you got help right away! Therapy was such a good thing for me (still is)

My baby is 2 months and it got triggered by a shaken baby video at the hospital the thoughts were what If I shake the baby or hurt the baby in some way or what if I lose my mind and family and end up locked up I’ve started therapy and Prozac and I’m on my way to recovery