- Username
- laurlpn
- Date posted
- 5y ago
My harm ocd was triggered by by children but it started way later. I had been binge watching alot of documentaries on Netflix about woman who kill for like I week straight. I use to love those kind of shows. One night my 5 year old asked me to play with her and all of the sudden this thought just popped into my head, I can't even remember it exactly but I was shocked by it so I kept thinking about it. I ended up in a night long panic attack. From that point on I couldn't get it out of my head and i just kept thinking what does this mean about me! What kind of person am I! I love my kids so much and they have been my world since the day they were born. So I kept ruminating for weeks. I went into a severe depression, I stopped eating and I woke up every night in panic thinking I would black out or go crazy and hurt them. It was a nightmare. I eventually went to my therapist and got on paxil. That seemed to make the ocd subside but I hated the side effects so I weaned off of it. I have been dealing with it on my own and some days are better then others. Alot of exposure has helped me and I feel alot better then I did 5 months ago.
my mom had exactly that post partum. she hated being alone around my big sister because she was afraid of hurting her.
Me! Started when baby was 2 months old. I got triggered by a story I heard and that was it... wouldn’t stop, thoughts got worse, I stopped eating, was so anxious, panic attacks etc. I tried so hard to keep up with everything but the compulsions and mental review was so overwhelming...I eventually started therapy and things got better but it took time. I still struggle some days though. How old is your baby? What are you experiencing?
Some days suck :(
I’ve been in therapy for two years - some days are amazing! Some days or weeks suck so bad :( I’m so happy that you got help right away! Therapy was such a good thing for me (still is)
My baby is 2 months and it got triggered by a shaken baby video at the hospital the thoughts were what If I shake the baby or hurt the baby in some way or what if I lose my mind and family and end up locked up I’ve started therapy and Prozac and I’m on my way to recovery
Does anyone have postpartum-triggered OCD or harm thoughts involving their baby or children? I just had my first child two months ago and am obsessed with the fear I’m going to hurt her or that I don’t love her.
I am fairly new to the site, but have already been able to connect with a few of y'all that are struggling with some of the same things as I am. I have had OCD for years, but I never attributed my struggles to OCD, until I started down the path of harm OCD and the intrusive thoughts. Back in the beginning of December, I had a couple of intrusive thoughts come in about "what if" I harmed my husband and then one towards my youngest daughter. I let it get me so overwhelmed that I ended up in urgent care after passing out at my in-laws due to dehydration and lack of sleep. I finally found a therapist who informed me that I had OCD and that I hadn't just suddenly become a psychopath. But, even knowing that it is OCD, there has always been that doubt, as I am sure all of you have experience with. I am working on accepting the thoughts as just thoughts and moving on with my day. I have been working on not ruminating and just telling the thoughts, "maybe, maybe not." The problem is, every day, it is like the OCD is trying to convince me why I might harm my family. Every little thing that irritates me, my brain says, "See..you're getting frustrated with your kids. It makes sense that you would hurt them." On and on it goes and then I get the thought, maybe this is what I want. Maybe I am just an angry person. Maybe I have just finally had enough. I hate the "I" statements because I have never wanted to harm anyone, let alone my babies or my hubby. But, OCD tells me that I do. Has anyone else struggled with this? I have never wanted to harm anyone. I have always tried to protect my babies and do everything I can to protect my marriage as well. I just hate that OCD seems to be trying to convince me that it's not just thoughts, but that I actually want these things.
Would love to hear how other mamas are doing with dealing with Postpartum OCD….Sometimes I feel like a danger to myself and my child or worse what if I acted on my intrusive thoughts! Looking for help/advice
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