I feel so horrible someone please help! I’m playing Pokémon Diamond and I was in a battle with another girl and I had an urge to look or glance at the chests and I don’t know why but I did it anyway because I had a thought that I was triggered and because they are younger I guess I started freaking out but I had an urge to do it and I did and now I feel so incredibly horrible because it was like I purposely did it? I’m freaking out so much right now I want to cry but I’m at work and I can’t. What if I did want to look there and I did it on purpose? It literally felt that way and now I’m so scared 😭

I know but I had a thought that was like a curious thought that if the characters are younger than would that part of the body be different or whatever because it’s an anime style and I don’t know if it was something I actually thought of or if it was intrusive but I feel so horrible and terrible like I actually thought that and what if it makes me a monster? I feel such a sense of doom and fear it’s unbearable

@Just Breathe ❤️ I know exactly how you feel, it’s just curiosity, it’s attention to details that are put in the game, you’re totally fine, just don’t keep ruminating on what it means, if you give OCD an inch, it’ll take a mile

@OCDHaver Yeah unfortunately it did and I was worrying so much all day about it. I’m home now but I was at work when it happened and I just wanted to cry and panic so badly and I couldn’t but I held it together until I got home. Unfortunately I told my mom about it and I shouldn’t have but for the time being I’m ok.

@OCDHaver I just hope to God I’m not a monster. I don’t want to be because of that. I feel like that’s something a monster would of done but I don’t know if it’s ocd telling me that or if I should really be worried about it

@Just Breathe ❤️ You’re not a monster, you’re human, trust me, there is real evil in this world and your OCD wants to make you believe that’s what you are, but what we’re going through is a mental disorder that inflates everything by 1000, whenever I feel panicked about something, I usually vent to my friend, and a lot of times he laughs, I don’t see it as rude, because he’s laughing because it really isn’t a big deal, and I can tell it’s not a big deal as well but my brain won’t let it go. You’re OCD will make you try to figure out something that needs no attention at all, if what you said makes you a monster, then everyone on the planet is completely vile and decrepit, you’re a human being and thoughts come in and go, a lot of times they don’t even make sense, your brain will think of the weirdest things, but they’re just thoughts, just don’t overthink, sadly you’re at a point where you’re a perfectionist and dealing with moral scrupulosity, if you’re not perfect and good all the time, then you’re a monster, if you have thoughts that you don’t want to have, you’re a disgusting and depraved human being, that’s not how it works, one of the greatest things my therapist told me when I was scared that I’ve offended someone or might do something bad unrelated to POCD, she told me that it’s impossible to go through life without doing something questionable, dumb or that could possibly hurt others, but it’s how you choose to learn and move forward from that that shows the person you are, and this about the video game, is really nothing at all

@OCDHaver Thank you for your help I appreciate it. It just feels so wrong and scary. I typed out basically what I talked about in my post and more and had my mom read it she said I’m blowing it way out of proportion and making it into something it isn’t because that’s what OCD does. I wish I could believe that

@OCDHaver Now I’m freaking out again because when I told my mom, what if she didn’t get it or didn’t realize what I meant by the characters being “younger”. Should I talk to her again?

@Just Breathe ❤️ No, I had the exact same problem with my mom, I confessed and confessed to her and I was also terrified that she didn’t understand me correctly. By confessing and trying to reiterate, your just giving your OCD more attention and your thoughts more power

@OCDHaver That’s true and she knows what I struggle with in ocd so I’m sure she gets it. She also gets very frustrated with me when I keep confessing too

@Just Breathe ❤️ My mom gets frustrated as well, a lot of people do because if they told you once and they keep repeating or see you’re not getting better, it can be frustrating, but we have to learn to not give attention to our thoughts

@OCDHaver Very true. I appreciate your help thank you so much

@Just Breathe ❤️ Of course, don’t lose faith, I truly believe you’re a good person

@OCDHaver Thank you and you too :)