- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
I’m with you! There are times where my anxiety is too much to handle and i turn to alcohol to calm me down. I’m trying not to drink as much bc i want to be able to tackle this OCD all on my own.
I’m sorry you’re struggling too. I know it all sucks. I feel the same I want to tackle it on my own I get through most of the day like at work or before I take my fiancé to work but then I get afraid of how the thoughts will be or how I’ll feel when I’m alone and I get too scared to go without it. I went so long without drinking hard liquor the way I am now and then this recurring theme I’ve had just started coming at me like 100% worse than it has in a long time. I hate it.
I've heard drug and alcohol use is very common in people with ocd
Thank you. Yeah I just started thinking about it today and I was like I wonder if this is becoming a new compulsion of mine lol. I don’t want it. But it does help unfortunately and I guess that’s why I need to make myself go without it.
For sure. I’ve had a big problem with alcohol because of my OCD
Basically anything can become a compulsion.
Thank you! I really didn’t know that. That helps!
:/ it sucks. I’m sorry.
So maybe the title wasn't the best to to put it but when you guys start having obsessive thoughts how do you stop them before it turns into compulsions and anxiety?
I started dealing with OCD when I became fixated on health issues, particularly the fear of contracting a life-threatening disease. If I experienced any kind of medical symptom, no matter how small, that even remotely hinted at something potentially fatal, it would drive me crazy, and I couldn’t stop obsessing over it. Then one day, I started having intrusive thoughts about accidentally hitting someone with my car, and I would end up driving in circles to check if I had. Eventually, I found myself overwhelmed by a flood of new obsessive thoughts and compulsions. One day, while I was at the park, a squirrel came near me, and for some reason, I felt like it attacked me. I Googled it and learned that squirrels could carry rabies, which spiraled me into a deep fear of rabies. I became consumed with the thought I received a bite from a squirrel, raccoon, or bat any time I’m in areas that trigger me. It started off only being inside then transferred to even being in my own home. This made me obsess over every physical sensation in my body, compulsively checking to make sure nothing was wrong. One compulsion that I hated the most would to be putting rubbing alcohol on me to make sure that I had no open wounds. Every day feels like I’m walking around in a fog of anxiety, constantly worrying that I won’t even make it to old age. Sometimes, it gets so overwhelming that I just want it all to end. It stresses me so bad at times to where my brain feels like I’ve been studying all day.
OK, this might sound really dumb, but when you guys get intrusive thoughts, do they just come once and then go away? I’ve heard that repeatedly thinking about an intrusive thought is considered ‘checking,’ but it doesn’t feel like I have any control over how many times it comes up in my head. It’s not like I’m trying to check anything—it just keeps showing up, almost like it’s terrorizing me every time. I can’t seem to stop it from looping, stop remembering it, or prevent it from coming up. Every time it does, I feel horrified, and I already know it’s going to horrify me. I don’t think I’m actively trying to see if my feelings have changed, so is this still considered checking? How do other people get an intrusive thought and just move on? Doesn’t it pop up a million times for them too? I always thought that was normal, but now I’m hearing this could be a compulsion, and I feel really confused, scared, and lost. Is this why my OCD feels so extreme? Because I really don’t feel like I can control how many times the thought pops up.
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