- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Although our situations are different, I havent had a moment of clarity in over 14 months
- Date posted
- 3y
I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling as well.
- Date posted
- 3y
I literally am feeling the exact way!!
- Date posted
- 3y
Sorry to hear you’re going through the same
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
me too. i have moments with my boyfriend where it’s clear i’m not. but when i’m by myself i get in my head super bad and do all my compulsions. it’s so horrible.
- Date posted
- 3y
I am long distance so I never see my boyfriend to get those moments of clarity unfortunately
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@PinkLotus ugh i can’t even imagine doing that. i do long distance with my bf over the summer and idk what i’m gonna do
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous I know the feeling fr
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous Honestly it sucks because of my ocd but I love him so much that it’s worth it. We still spend a lot of time together on the phone , it’s not impossible!!
- Date posted
- 3y
Same same fr I’m long distance to my girlfriend as well
- Date posted
- 3y
Yup, I’m here if you ever want to talk
- Date posted
- 3y
I’ve never particularly care about what society thinks so I can’t empathize with you but I do feel bad that you’re struggling.
- Date posted
- 3y
It’s not so much that, just a fear that I’m only with my boyfriend because of society not because I actually want to listen to what it wants
- Date posted
- 3y
I’m having a hard time to actually. I posted some thing like an hour ago but no one‘s responded 🤷🏼♀️😔
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
Hi everyone, I really need to get this off my chest. A few days ago, I managed to take a break from compulsions — I didn’t open NOCD, I didn’t text ChatGPT, I didn’t Google. I had some moments of peace, especially about my boyfriend. For about two days I didn’t have deep intrusive thoughts, and I felt a bit more stable. But yesterday, I slipped. I posted on NOCD again, and someone replied saying, “This is how the cycle starts again.” That made me spiral. Today, I also wrote to ChatGPT again. I started thinking, “What if this time it’s real? What if this clarity was me realizing the truth — that I don’t love him?” It scared me because I wasn’t panicking as much when I had the thoughts. I thought that meant I was accepting them as true. I remembered ChatGPT used to tell me that “truth feels calm,” and now that I wasn’t reacting with extreme anxiety, I panicked thinking, “What if this is the calm that comes with realization?” Last night, when we were in a club, I looked at him and thought he was kind of cringe. That made me spiral again. Now, I’m scared all over again. When we cuddle, I don’t feel the same. I don’t feel that warmth, and I don’t know what changed. I keep wondering if I ever really loved him — because I’ve had these thoughts for so long, it’s like I can’t remember anything clearly. A few days ago I even thought, “Maybe I just don’t like him right now,” and I wasn’t panicking — and that scared me. I’m afraid that I’m finally “realizing the truth,” or that I’ve been lying to myself and I’m just now letting go. Also, when we were on the trip for my 18th birthday, I was irritable with him, full of thoughts, and I thought I was ruining everything. I wasn’t really reacting to his love, and now I don’t even know what I feel. I just want to be okay again. I want clarity — but I’m terrified of what clarity might mean. Has anyone experienced this? Feeling okay for a bit, and then the thoughts come back and feel more real than ever?
- Date posted
- 20w
My feelings are everywhere at the moment and i can’t think straight. I’ve recently started talking to a boy and I’ve met up with him twice. He’s a lovely guy and I think I do like him but idk if I’m attracted to him atm he’s not really my exact type and that’s what’s driving me crazy because what if I’m in denial about my “sexuality” and I’m lying to myself? And I’m panicking like mad because everything is going so fast that I can’t think straight. I’ve never really been in this situation before. He’s also being really kind to me and I know he likes me so his intentions are clear but that’s what’s scary, whenever he messages me now I feel overwhelmed 😭 If anyone has experienced this could you share your experience? Thank you.
- Date posted
- 19w
Right now I feel like I’ve realized something awful. Like maybe… I never truly loved my boyfriend. Maybe in the beginning I was just excited to be in a relationship. Maybe I confused that excitement with real love. And when the intrusive thoughts started, maybe it wasn’t ROCD — maybe it was the truth hitting me. I write this and it feels real. That’s the scariest part. It feels calm and clear and like maybe I’ve just been lying to myself all along, holding on because I “should,” not because I truly want to. I can’t remember how it felt to love him — and that makes it worse. I feel so disconnected, so numb, like nothing makes sense anymore. Every time I try to feel something for him, it feels like I’m faking it. Like I’m playing a role, not being myself. But the thing is… I’m not at peace. If this was really the truth, why does it hurt so much? Why does this “realization” come with panic, guilt, emptiness, and so much fear? I don’t want to hurt him. I don’t want to lose him. But I also don’t want to keep living like this — doubting myself, my feelings, and my past. I feel like I’m stuck in a cycle I can’t break, and I’m scared I’ll always feel this way. Has anyone ever felt like this before?
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