MikeOH2LA
- Date posted
- 3y
GregJGregJ
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
Hello! There is nothing you can do about the past, you can only use the past to learn from your mistakes. Unless you have a time machine you won’t be able to go back and take back what you said. What you can do instead is recognize the lessons from the past and apply those lessons to your current and present relationships. I would try apologizing to your SO and show them that you are trying to change. Tell them you are sorry and you will do better to not say anything mean to them. Use your past experiences to shape your present and future. Beating yourself up over the past will not change anything. The only thing you can change is how you act in the present. You got this!
MikeOH2LAMikeOH2LA
- Date posted
- 3y
Hey thank you! I have apologized several times. We are divorcing after 17 years of marriage. The OCD is a major part of it. I am an ERP therapy and my therapist said a very important distinction with me that has significantly helped me with understanding my relationship better. My SO also says mean things to me. But the motivation from me and my SO comes from different places. While I say things that are very upsetting, it comes from the anxiety and my need for reassurance that I am not an awful human being. Its not what I should be doing but I don’t say mean things about her. My SO however says things to me that come from a place of frustration and anger. They are meant to hurt. I know that what I have said is hurtful to her. I acknowledge that and try to take responsibility for saying them. The difference is in the motivation behind them. This distinction has greatly improved my understanding of my relationship.
GregJGregJ
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@MikeOH2LA I’m glad that your therapist has helped you realize that. I wish you nothing but the best! Continue to work hard with your therapist!
MikeOH2LAMikeOH2LA
- Date posted
- 3y
@NOCD Advocate - Greg J. Thank you Greg! I appreciate that.
Jeffrey Jeffrey
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
I am sorry you are having a difficult time. There is one important thing to note: we have all done things in our past that we are less than proud of and cringe when we think about it. None of us can erase it. The truth is we cannot change the past, because we live only in the present. Everyday is a new day and a new opportunity to do better. And what OCD is telling you is not truth - it’s an intrusive thought with no value. It takes many situations and blows them so far out of proportion that OCD creates false memories. Som when ocd rears it’s ugly head, sit with the anxiety and do not try and argue with it, or try to disprove it. You may even consider agreeing with it, saying oh yeah I am a horrible person. Not because that is the truth, rather because it does. It give the ocd any outlet to go somewhere else with this. It can’t argue when you say of course I am a terrible person. I hate everyone and I couldn’t care less. Again, not because it is absolute truth, but as a way to break the ocd cycle. I hope this helps.
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- Date posted
- 22w
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justdiya22
- Date posted
- 21w
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Anonymous_co...
- Date posted
- 16w
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