I’m in such a weird place. Now I’m confused on whether or not I even want to be in a committed relationship. Like I know what commitment takes and now it feels like I just can’t handle it anymore. ROCD has made me realize I’m super scared of that stuff. And of course having ROCD makes commitment seem even harder and more unattainable/stressful. I’m so scared. Bc I love my partner and our relationship but now I’m afraid I can’t actually handle commitment for the time and it’s so scary.😭I hate that there’s this feeling of calm associated with these thoughts.

This makes sense! Thank you!! I’m really tired of my brain not getting why long term relationships are even a thing or how they’re even beneficial for me🙃I would really like to be confident in my choice to stay with my partner even if I do have doubts or crazy questions. He’s a really wonderful person and we’re such a great duo both romantically and as friends. We make a great team and I just want to actually experience the wonderful thing we have to the fullest. As well as heal whatever crap is going on in my head

It’s the worst and I’m sorry you’re going through that. I feel like an imposter and keeping asking “why am I even here in this relationship etc.” it’s awful bc not too far in the past and before I have told myself why I’m staying and what for but clearly that means nothing to ocd. So I just feel like a lying imposter who’s somehow forcing herself to be in a relationship and I wanna scream but also it doesn’t feel super overloaded with anxiety 🥲🥲🥲

@crc_1394 I’m sorry you are too. Did you have these thoughts when you were single? I notice that I was in a good place, enjoying life and dating around. Then I got serious with my now fiancé and yikes I’m terrified and I feel like I need to leave but I don’t want too

@OCD33 I’ve actually been with my partner since I was 14 and he was 14. We’re 19 and 20 now. But my attachment style has always been fearful avoidant, it’s just that I’m discovering that now. Somehow the brain takes commitment and sees it as pointless but I feel like that’s because it doesn’t want to slow down and process stuff. It always wants to be on the go to avoid handling hard stuff and healing through it. Because the brain can’t see a way out, but there has to be freedom on the other side of this.

@Sero82 Oh cool!! May I ask how old you all are now? And unfortunately yes, my intrusive thoughts focus on that we’re different ethnicities, have different upbringings, and any other difference we have no matter how big or small they are. It’s not fun.