Dre83
- Date posted
- 3y
faithfulfaithful
- Date posted
- 3y
Yes I do too then wonder if they really want to be with them and not me
Dre83Dre83
- Date posted
- 3y
I might add that we’ve been married for almost 11 yrs. I found out two years ago that she cheated on me while we were engaged. We’ve had a good marriage for the most part so I tend to think am I good enough for her sexually because what took place even though we’ve been married almost 11 yrs
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 3y
Yea I became obsessed with ex ‘es past relationships. It was to a point where I went through all her old emails and photos. Not healthy but I could not let it go.
Dre83Dre83
- Date posted
- 3y
I got ocd 3 months after finding out. Had some other trauma happen that year as well. 36 yrs old when I got ocd
faithfulfaithful
- Date posted
- 3y
My spouse wasn't faithful as well. Emotional cheating in his case. I have had ocd symptoms and intrusive thoughts since I was about 7 years old. Diagnosed ocd mdd gad and PTSD at age 20. I'm now 30 and have had many other diagnosis as well since then. I question if my ocd thoughts are really internal voices. I will get voices or thoughts that he is cheating or lying and I HAVE to look for evidence. Like it will all add up. Sometimes I find things, sometimes I don't. However I was this way before he cheated... And since he cheated I feel like it has just added fuel to the fire of my mental illness or made it seem like it was my "intuition" like I knew he had cheated? Idk it's weird. Anyway lol That would tear me apart if I found out they cheated early on in our relationship especially that they didn't tell you. Man that's tough. I think that you are going thru more of a trauma response than an ocd response. But that's just my opinion. I was married to a man for 8 years. Every day he told me I was the problem, I was fucked up in the head, I was the reason he did what he did to me... I already had PTSD from an incident when I was 12, then raped at 15, and sexual abused ages 17-21 by my fiance at the time. It can mess with your head. Have you talked to her about this? I would suggest a counselor, because you can communicate all day but if it's not in a way they communicate it will not go thru to them. My experience. I question if I am sexually enough for my partner as well. It's a constant feeling of I'm not enough, ya know? In all aspects of our relationship... I like to write out my thoughts and experiences and feelings in a journal. Sometimes i find it helps so much to make the bad feelings go away that i don't even have to bother my partner with it. It doesn't always work though, I constantly reassurance seek bad. I hope you u feel better. You are enough and know that YOU can never make someone cheat. If they cheat it's because they CHOSE to do it.
Dre83Dre83
- Date posted
- 3y
Gosh you have been through a lot. My wife was molested by her step dad and raped by someone we knew. I know she had low self esteem and respect for herself because of what she went through. She suffers from clinical depression because of the molesting so I try to consider all that she’s been through in her life. I’m so sorry that you’ve had to go through such terrible things as well. I’m in counseling for ocd and for this for the last 1.5 yrs. I’m healing but I just wish it was faster ya know. Trying to see why God has planned for me though all of this. I love her dearly. I hope you feel better as well!
Related posts
Parker_b
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 23w
Retroactive jealousy/relationship ocd
I’m gonna try to make this make sense, and any support or advice would be great. I have a beautiful girlfriend, who I’ve been dating off and on for a year. We were really rocky but got our shit figured out 4 months ago and have been strong since. I truly love this girl more than I’ve loved anyone. And I know based off the sheer amount of ocd that has come up on our relationship, that she means a lot to me. Me and her were in a friend group in 2022 and we never liked each other. However she had a sexual relationship with one of my old friends. Fast forward to now I haven’t talked to him in a long time and I don’t see it as an issue. However… I keep having this vivid flashback to him touching her some kinda way in 2022. I can’t remember exactly what happened or the details but it’s running through my head. I guess this is retroactive jealousy but it’s really almost hurting my feelings. I wish it would stop but I know ocd doesn’t work that way. I just wanna be happy with my girl and not upset at her past experiences
Anonynmous19
- Date posted
- 22w
What if thought
I was watching porn years ago and i have intrusive associative thoughts. Ocd says the person in the videi resembles my relative or my wifes. I had this intrysive thoughts and then ocd says since it reminded me of her relatives what if i was arousing over them. Im nit attracted to them and its ego dystonic. Ocd says if i dud thats betrayal to my spouse. Ive confessed about this so many times and did last night. Then this morning ocd says i didbt confess last night when i did ir kt wasnt good enough or thus detail means i couldve or i need to confess this detail. I was doing fibe this year snd this intrusive memiry and what if just hit me yesterday and ive been ruminating abd feeling guikt and unworthy of my spouse. Please help
WJ
- Date posted
- 20w
Relationship OCD, obsessed with girlfriend’s past
Hi all, I’m new here and this is my first post. I was diagnosed with OCD back in March and started therapy, but was only able to complete a few sessions before my therapist had a baby. I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 11 months and I’ve constantly been thinking about her past. More specifically something she told me that happened while her and I were speaking. In just two days it will be a year since she told me about the fact that she was assaulted by someone she met online. ( we both met online). It took place while we were talking. Originally when she told me, she told me she had sex with a guy she met online she told me she went over to watch a movie and then they had sex. Recently after we discussed it since it was weighing on my mind, she revealed to me that it wasn’t consensual and that she was sexually assaulted/raped. She told me she initially thought it was sex because it’s what she was sued to from her last relationship. She was abused and assaulted a lot by her ex, and this thing was normal for her. She said she didn’t realize how bad everything was until after we had been dating and she saw what true consensual sex was. The problem I have is that my brain knows every detail of what happened but keeps blaming her for her. My brain keeps telling me it was her choice and her fault and it justifies it by saying that she went over knowing it was a possibility he would want sex, so therefore it’s her fault. This has been straining me for so long because I can’t stop thinking about it. Everything seems to trigger a thought about it. I know inside what happened and what led to it, but I constantly think about it possibly being something else. I constantly think about every little detail. It has led me to having thoughts of “maybe I shouldn’t date someone that did this” as it doesn’t match my definition of the “perfect partner”. I have no idea what to do anymore. I obsess over things she had done with her ex in order to be loved by him. Like drinking, smoking weed, etc all things that I am against. I know she doesn’t do this anymore and was coaxed into it, but I’m constantly overwhelmed by thoughts of “she isn’t perfect because of XYZ so I shouldn’t be with her”. I won’t go into any details about the assault out of respect for her. I feel I’m constantly fighting myself and every good day I have gets overshadowed by one bad day :( I cannot see my therapist again until August and it worries me a lot.
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