- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
yes! the discourse about nate’s sexuality can be soo triggering for me bc the idea of people speculating about my sexuality is terrifying. it’s a good exposure tho!
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- 3y
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- 3y
I’m spiraling . Idk if I should stop or what
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- 3y
and ofc the plot line of jules and rue going from friends to lovers is triggering cause i always worry if my platonic love for friends is really just romantic/sexual and i don’t know it/am suppressing it. but i still use it as exposure and try to resist the need to know. you got this!
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- 3y
Definitely a good exposure just so triggered ahh
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- 3y
@cc97 you’re valid
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- 3y
@Anonymous What did u do when you were triggered from it?
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- 3y
@cc97 it was hard, but i’d get thoughts and i will sometimes engage in reassurance-seeking out of fear/discomfort. but i’ve really been trying to just see the thoughts as is, and maybe take a break from watching. or sometimes i’ll say to myself “it doesn’t matter. i only care about the plot line”
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- 3y
@Anonymous after all, they are just characters in a show. i feel like i’m making it sound so simple, but it is truly so hard for me to do. i understand! but it’s the effort that counts.
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- 3y
@Anonymous Yes I noticed I googled, posted on here and Reddit . So just need to get better at not doing that when triggered by the show! That’s good advice thank u
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
Like I feel geroinals ALL DAY and it’s stuck… I think I’m bi. But this still drives me nuts.
- Date posted
- 20w
Hi all, I deal with HOCD and been seeing a therapist for about 3.5 months. It has definitely got better but still affects me very much. Was wondering there is anyone out there who has dealt with HOCD as well and has recovered. I would love to message or even chat just see how your experience was and hear what was beneficial to you.
- Date posted
- 20w
trigger warning!!!!!! I’m really scared right now. I’ve been reading Elle Warren’s articles about her experience with HOCD/SO-OCD, and it feels so similar to mine. She went through the same fears of being a lesbian, felt distressed by her attraction to women, and spent hours ruminating, Googling, and analyzing her feelings. She even experienced groinal responses and revisited old memories, just like I do. Eventually, she had a moment of realization in college when she flirted with a girl, and everything clicked. She now identifies as a lesbian. I’m terrified that the same thing will happen to me. I thought the OCD fears were supposed to never be true and that HOCD thoughts are usually just compulsions that don’t end up being real. But reading her story, it’s like I’m seeing my own experience mirrored. What if it clicks for me, just like it did for her? What if I realize that I am a lesbian? Elle’s story makes me so scared. I thought my feelings of attraction to women were just OCD-driven, and now I’m questioning everything. I thought I was straight, but now, reading her journey, I’m wondering: could my OCD fears actually be real? Elle’s experience was very similar to mine: • She got distressed when she thought she might like women, not relieved. • She spent a lot of time ruminating, Googling, analyzing, and comparing. • Her attraction to women only became intense when her OCD flared up. • She said things like, “I feel peace when I believe I’m straight.” • She had already been diagnosed with OCD and had a history of this pattern. After years of fear and distress, Elle had a moment of calm and realized that it was true. I’m scared that this could happen to me too. Will I have a similar moment of acceptance, where everything clicks and I realize I’m gay? Or will I come to accept that this is all OCD, and that I’m straight, with the possibility that I’m not? I also keep thinking back to when my OCD lessened the first time. Did I go back to men because I wasn’t actually attracted to women, or was it just because the grip of the OCD had loosened? Elle also talked about the shame associated with non-heterosexuality. She mentioned that, like many of us, she had internalized stigma around being gay, and that it made her fear the possibility of being non-heterosexual. I can relate to this so much—growing up, I never saw it as an option to be anything other than straight, and now it’s hard to shake that fear and shame. Elle mentioned that she found reassurance in seeing other people with HOCD who worried that their fears would come true, but eventually realized they were just OCD thoughts. That idea is comforting, but also a little scary, because what if that moment of realization happens for me too? What if I finally accept that I am a lesbian? Or, what if I’m just struggling with OCD and eventually realize I’m straight? I just don’t know. The scariest part is that, just like Elle, I feel like I don’t have any obvious signs. She had no idea she was a lesbian until one day, everything clicked. She was 21, just like me when my OCD fears really flared up, and she had a breakthrough moment in Denver when she made friends with lesbians. That hasn’t happened for me yet, and it’s terrifying to think that it could happen in the future. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I’m really scared about where this will lead.
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