- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
You’re not alone. We’ve had lots of breaks and breakups. Just try to focus on taking care of yourself and try not to worry too much about what tomorrow will bring 💕 trust that no matter what happens, you are strong and can get through it
- Date posted
- 3y
This is where I’m at rn and I just want you to know you’re not alone. Like I know it’s the right thing to do but it really hurts and I still love him but I’m kind of in the anger stage of grief right now where I’m hurting a lot and processing the frustration of why and how it happened. You are not alone. I just went back to therapy because of the breakup and that may sound silly but breakups are so hard and you need extra love and care thru this time. ❤️
- Date posted
- 3y
Yes! You can do this. I know it's silly but there's a taco bell commercial where the girl gets a text from her ex, rolls over, and dreams of tacos. I try to remind myself that will be me if we break up. I will focus on things that bring me joy if I can just roll over and get through the night. One night at a time. And if it's meant to be it will be and you'll be stronger either way. I'm here for you.
- Date posted
- 3y
Same as Stuckinmyhead. My so and I have had a ton of breaks and breakups. One that lasted for 1-2 years. That one was really difficult for me. I would get really obsessed with the fact that everything that went wrong was my fault. I would think if we had the "right conversation" everything would be good as new. I would contact him to talk about it and it would only set us both back. It got really bad for me. I became so obsessed with the idea of losing him I chose to do really bad things to my body and threatened to kill myself. After that night we didn't talk for a long time. We got quarantined together after a friend's wedding and it took a lot of work but we had both grown a lot. I recognized the things I was accountable for and focused on being a better person. If we got back together then cool, but if not then I had already done the hard part of losing him for a long period of time.
- Date posted
- 3y
I’m personally at the “right conversation” point. I’m having to force myself to have space because every time I reach out to him to check in, it’s like I start from square one and hurt all over again
- Date posted
- 3y
@kittea Sorry I accidentally replied to your comment on the thread.
- Date posted
- 3y
@m00se no problem!!
- Date posted
- 3y
I just want to say I resonate and really appreciate your story. My partner and I broke up in June 2021 and this is our longest break up yet. He’s seeing someone and I still keep trying to fix it and make it right. It’s just making everything harder but I am so obsessed with it, and devastated when we have a set back. We were in a good place and actually had a really lovely friendship up until a few weeks ago when things got difficult again. But yes, I really appreciate your view on it. I’m glad you’re in a better place now
- Date posted
- 3y
@Stuckinmyhead I'm really glad you appreciate my story. That makes me feel heard. I hear you. That is gut sinking to hear and I can't imagine what you're going through. I really do feel for you and I'm here if you ever want to talk. I've learned a lot from this and I am still learning but I do want to tell you that every day is a constant battle. I have suicidal ideation and when I fall back in my ways and connect myself to my relationship, I believe that I am not good enough if we fight and that we're only back together bc I'm weak. I also want to say that I don't have to know you to know there will be moments where you think "this is why it happened." It might even be as small as reacting different to something you used to would have compulsed about. To me, you sound like a person who is very understanding, determined, kind. You are lucky to have you in your life. I'm really sorry that you're going through this but you are very important, smart, and deserve to grow.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 19w
Hi everyone — just reaching out for a bit of support, perspective, and maybe some guidance. I was in a relationship with someone who had untreated ROCD, and I’m trying to process it all now that we’re apart. I’ve written my experience below, not to vent, but to better understand what happened and how to handle it with compassion (for both of us). I was in a relationship with someone who struggled deeply with OCD and ROCD, though they weren’t in treatment at the time. From the outside, things looked fine. But behind closed doors, I witnessed spirals, dissociation, identity shifts, panic, and emotional instability that few people ever saw. We both knew about the disorder. It wasn’t hidden. They even spoke about ROCD through awareness posts online. We knew what it was — we named it together — but knowing wasn’t enough to stop it. And unfortunately, the people around them didn’t fully understand OCD, ROCD, or just how powerful and persuasive this disorder can be. There was real love between us. Deep, honest, complicated love. And a connection that existed long before we ever became a couple — a connection I still believe in. But fear and doubt — the kind only OCD can generate — made everything feel unsafe. The anxiety got so loud that eventually, breaking up felt like the only option. Despite OCD or not, I’ve respected their decision and given them the space I know they needed and were entitled to. They shared a lot with me — things I won’t repeat here, because they’re theirs. But they were raw. Honest. Human. I was the one who sat through the “I don’t know” spirals. The doubts over feelings, attraction, and more. I was their rock — the one who understood. And they told me that, more than once. Now I’m sitting in the quiet. I’m seeing the avoidance play out: the nights out, the thriving energy, maybe even someone new. It’s hard — hard to witness such a visible shift in someone I was once so close to. But I’ve also seen the cracks. The internal conflict starting to show again. I know how this pattern works. I’ve lived it, too. The relief never lasts forever. Eventually, when it fades, the absence lingers longer. And when it does, OCD doesn’t stay silent for long — it latches onto the very things you tried to run from and reshapes itself. I know that if I reach out too soon — or say the wrong thing at the wrong time — I might push them even deeper into avoidance. Deeper into the version of themselves for now. So I’m careful. That’s why even this post is written with thought. Because I care. I really care. And in the meantime, I’m working on myself — even if part of me still wants to fight for something that felt real. But I also know I can’t fight alone. I’m not shutting the door — just stepping into another room for now. A room where I can grow and heal. But the door is still open. I’d appreciate any guidance or advice on how to approach this in the kindest, most thoughtful way — with as little hurt for either of us as possible. Thank you all so much and I wish all of you are keeping well. Lots of love ❤️
- Date posted
- 16w
I’ve been really struggling with Relationship OCD since I got married, and 3 years later, I’m afraid I’ve lost the love of my life. Between the Relationship OCD, the Religious OCD, and the Sexuality OCD, she couldn’t handle it anymore. Now that she left, the fog of doubt has faded, and I’m realizing how much I truly loved her all along. I just don’t understand how our minds can play such sabotaging tricks on us. And why? I don’t know what to do. I hope and pray we eventually get back together, but I know I need help. I want to do whatever I can to return to a place where she can feel loved by me, the way she did before ROCD took over. Is anyone here going through something similar? Has anyone overcome ROCD? Were you able to repair your relationship? I’d really appreciate any insight or advice. Thank you.
- Perfectionism OCD
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- Sexual Orientation OCD
- Religion & Spirituality OCD
- Relationship OCD
- LGBTQ+ with OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Date posted
- 14w
I have had ocd in my relationship for a while now. When I originally met him it was like this insane spiritual soulmate feeling and we just clicked instantly and he never judged me. I’m scared cause when I picture breaking up with my boyfriend I see myself being ok and being sad but moving on which I never was able to see before doesn’t this mean that this is what would happen or I don’t know till it happens? I still can’t imagine what life would be like without him but I just feel like I have lost feelings that I never wanted to lose. plus that’s also when I just picture knowing how people move on and how I’d just have to move on without letting myself picture processing the losses of all. I’m just really scared cause I used to think of wanting other things in someone else and what it would be like but I just thought how nice it would be to have it and not actually meaning it bc every time I thought about it I got upset and now it feels diff. He knows I have ocd but I never explained the ROCD because I thought it would have offended him so every time I went through a flare up I never told and acted like I was fine and it kept happening and OCD kept getting worse and worse. Maybe that’s part of the issue cause I haven’t been feeling like myself. But this is a feeling I never wanted to feel ever with him. I have gone through the feeling of numb but not like this. And he has a lot of positives but I can only see him overall as negatives and I’ve been told that’s ocd but it’s affecting how I feel. And yes there are legit actual things in the relationship that upset me but ocd has been affecting the way I look at him also. I keep being told my judgment is being impaired but this time it rly feels like not. And I’m Scared why don’t memories and things affect me like it used to doesn’t that mean I want this. Has anyone experienced this or is this the end 😭
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