7710 ❤️

Date posted: 3y

…..why.. do I get relief when I agree with not loving him…. 😞

Relationship OCD

cjv

Date posted: 3y

Hi. Definitely speak with a therapist about this. ROCD is so so hard to try to understand, but they’ll help you. For a while when I was getting better at managing my OCD, I was exhausted from ROCD and almost felt relief when my partner was away. Now that I’ve gotten better, I’ve gotten excited to see him every time. This is just my experience, though. We all have different experiences

7710 ❤️

Date posted: 3y

I wanna know how did you feel before you got better… I just feel like exhausted.. I keep saying I don’t love him to test myself for a reaction… I am worried I don’t want him anymore…

vinay

Date posted: 3y

Not every thought is OCD Sometime it is what it is.

7710 ❤️

Date posted: 3y

What does that mean!?!?!?

eoid

Date posted: 3y

I think he means that some thoughts are what you really think; not everyone is ocd related. And sometimes truth Is hard to accept.. But it is easy to confuse real toughts with rocd toughts so good luck!

7710 ❤️

Date posted: 3y

@eoid 😢😢😢 no….no…. No!!! 😭 Nonononono!!! Nononononononononono!!! 😖😖 NoNononononononono!!!!

7710 ❤️

Date posted: 3y

@eoid I don’t want it to be true!!! No!!!!

7710 ❤️

Date posted: 3y

What did you mean by that!!!??

7710 ❤️

Date posted: 3y

This isn’t real!!! None of this is real!!!! 😖😭

vinay

Date posted: 3y

Let things be the way they are if he meant to be stay in your life he will. Don't think too much and even if you want to Don't resist your thoughts. :)

7710 ❤️

Date posted: 3y

@vinay But what am I going to do! 😢 I’ve been obsessing for 2 years! It didn’t feel like this before! It’s like my symptoms are gone!! 😭😭😭 I don’t want this to be true! I had clarity moments with him this month! Why am I agreeing to this!! 😖 I am just at the point I wanna die! I’ve been crying my eyes out rereading what you both said! For an hour! 😖 I was so scared of this happening when my ROCD started! I was so scared I was gonna find out the truth! I’ve been so stressed out with everything in life…

7710 ❤️

Date posted: 3y

I’ve been testing myself for 2 years saying I didn’t love him to get a reaction… then my ROCD dug into his flaws… I just want everything back to normal again to where I can just cuddle and massage his head to help him sleep.. or watch a movie together while eating his yummy dinners in it while he jokes about the characters.. I am gonna miss out on everything with him… like hearing his laugh while he jokes around friends or him getting excited over something about ghostbusters… 😢 I don’t want this to be reality… but it’s like it is already…. 😞😢

7710 ❤️

Date posted: 3y

I thought love was a choice….

7710 ❤️

Date posted: 3y

Please… I want to reverse this…

Sam38373

Date posted: 3y

You’d feel relief because that what ocd wants u to feel, if ur asking urself what if what ifs it’s ocd trying to work out ur thoughts will make ur ocd worse and carry it on you need to tell ur self I might love him I might not and not deep ur thoughts else ocd will go on and on. The fact you feel awful about thinking u might not love him show u u love him. You’re not supposed to feel in love with ur parent everyday all day !!

7710 ❤️

Date posted: 3y

I’ve been depressed all day… i don’t have intrusive thoughts anymore…. 😭

Sam38373

Date posted: 3y

@7710 ❤️ Yes my boyfriend is also very depressed due to all stress of ocd so some days feel like there’s no spark

7710 ❤️

Date posted: 3y

@SamanthaDan It’s been non stop with random moments of clarity..

cjv

Date posted: 3y

@7710 ❤️ Exactly what SamanthaDan said. All that stress takes a toll. With therapy, you’ll get better help. You have to remember that OCD is the what If disorder.

Sam38373

Date posted: 3y

Partner *

7710 ❤️

Date posted: 3y

It’s like I have no emotional connection to him anymore… 😭

cjv

Date posted: 3y

I started to disassociate and experience depersonalization…. It was like I didn’t even know him anymore. But my therapist has really helped me

Sam38373

Date posted: 3y

It will feel like that as he’s a negative things to you right as he’s the person u get ocd about so you’re going to feel stressed towards him it’s not his fault nor urs. Are you getting therapy ? It helped my relationship!! and taking apex cbd oil twice a day 2 drops works wonders !! if you’re depressed u won’t feel love or enjoyment toward things get the help you need

7710 ❤️

Date posted: 3y

@SamanthaDan Never got therapy… it doesn’t feel right. It’s like I am in denial.. when I think about how I was with him before everything got bad.. I was so loving sure I had moments of doubting but never got this bad… when I think about breaking up with him I get sad… I still test myself saying I don’t love him… I just wanna love him like before again…

Sam38373

Date posted: 3y

@7710 ❤️ Have u been digniosed with ocd?

Sam38373

Date posted: 3y

@7710 ❤️ And that’s understandable when u have an illness that is based on doubt it’s going to get stressful and confusing without the right help the stress will take away the spark getting help was the best thing we ever did now we r better then ever

7710 ❤️

Date posted: 3y

@SamanthaDan No… but everyone around me can see my ocd tendencies more than I can..

Sam38373

Date posted: 3y

@7710 ❤️ Therapy is life changing i would highly recommend , what other sort of intrusive thoughts do you get if u don’t mind me asking?

cjv

Date posted: 3y

@SamanthaDan Therapy helped very much! Definitely recommend it for op

7710 ❤️

Date posted: 3y

@SamanthaDan That’s the thing… I had intrusive thoughts… now it like all of my symptoms are gone… I wanna go back and deal with anxiety than deal with this…

Sam38373

Date posted: 3y

@7710 ❤️ I highly recommend trying cbd oil type into Google apex cbd oil 150mg one my boyfriend cpuodnt even sit in a cafe or go get a hair cut until he used this oil read online about it it works wonders

7710 ❤️

Date posted: 3y

@SamanthaDan But what do I do about not having symptoms anymore… that I am believing I don’t love him anymore…. 😞

Sam38373

Date posted: 3y

@7710 ❤️ Ocd thoughts are typically what you fear the thought of you not loving him anymore does it make you anxious what do you do to make urself feel better do you confess that to him ?

7710 ❤️

Date posted: 3y

@SamanthaDan I feel better when he just gives me hugs but even that doesn’t work… I am gonna lose him…. 😞 I never confessed to him to make myself feel better.. I’ve always told myself I didn’t love him and when I did it would give me relief but I would start freaking out badly… I just want to love him like before again… that’s all I want…. He has the cutest belly and I use to rub my face against it to show affection… 🥺 We have some issues we as a couple need to work on.. but right now my emotional connection isn’t there which is fueling it even more

Sam38373

Date posted: 3y

@7710 ❤️ Do things that you two used to do , date nights are essential. love is a funny ol thing. You’re not supposed to feel in love with your partner all the time I go does without feeling a connection due to all the stress to do with ocd

Sam38373

Date posted: 3y

I work 24 hour shifts when my Boyf picks me up he gets scared and low-key annoyed as he knows soon as he sees me his ocd will come flooding in but he loves me he’s just stressed about ocd towards me but therapy has changed his life and cbd oil

Mariabae

Date posted: 20w

rocd is awful

I don’t understand why I don’t feel happy, why my mind keeps making me think so negatively about him. Nothing makes me feel joy anymore. I keep thinking that he’s stupid, that I don’t like him, and when he speaks kindly to me, I feel nothing. The worst part is that I feel completely numb, like I have no emotions at all. And that makes me think that maybe I really don’t like him, that I will eventually reach a point where I realize my worst fear is true. I keep fighting with him because of my attitude. I treat him badly, and I know it’s because of my thoughts. I can’t see the good in anything. Today, he told me that I would be better off without him because I always seem so sad. He moved to my city for university just to be with me, and instead of making his life better, I feel like I’m making it worse. The thoughts don’t stop, even when I’m with him. I see people posting about how they feel calm when they’re with their partners, but I don’t. I can’t look at him without having intrusive thoughts, and I can’t even kiss him. Today, he told me that he doesn’t feel loved by me anymore, that I treat him poorly. I am constantly afraid because I feel nothing when he says things to me, because I don’t feel like I care. When I look at pictures of us from when I was in a better place, I feel like I was a completely different person. I start thinking that I’ve “matured” and that’s why I don’t feel anything anymore—like maybe I only liked him because I was young and naïve. Everything he does and says irritates me, but he loves me. What if I’m only with him because I don’t want to hurt him? What if I’m just used to him? I feel scared all the time. I don’t understand what’s happening. He keeps trying to apply logic, but it doesn’t work on me. So many times, he has tried to make me feel better, to tell me that I still care about him and that I don’t need to feel love all the time. But my heart breaks when I see how attached he is to me while I feel like I don’t feel the same way. I feel like I’m hurting him, and I don’t know how to get out of this dark place . He keeps trying to apply logic, but it doesn’t work on me. So many times, he has tried to make me feel better, to tell me that I still care about him and that I don’t need to feel love all the time. But my heart breaks when I see how attached he is to me while I feel like I don’t feel the same way. I feel like I’m hurting him, and I don’t know how to get out of this dark place

Mariabae

Date posted: 7w

panic. scared. it feels real

Right now I feel like I’ve realized something awful. Like maybe… I never truly loved my boyfriend. Maybe in the beginning I was just excited to be in a relationship. Maybe I confused that excitement with real love. And when the intrusive thoughts started, maybe it wasn’t ROCD — maybe it was the truth hitting me. I write this and it feels real. That’s the scariest part. It feels calm and clear and like maybe I’ve just been lying to myself all along, holding on because I “should,” not because I truly want to. I can’t remember how it felt to love him — and that makes it worse. I feel so disconnected, so numb, like nothing makes sense anymore. Every time I try to feel something for him, it feels like I’m faking it. Like I’m playing a role, not being myself. But the thing is… I’m not at peace. If this was really the truth, why does it hurt so much? Why does this “realization” come with panic, guilt, emptiness, and so much fear? I don’t want to hurt him. I don’t want to lose him. But I also don’t want to keep living like this — doubting myself, my feelings, and my past. I feel like I’m stuck in a cycle I can’t break, and I’m scared I’ll always feel this way. Has anyone ever felt like this before?

Mariabae

Date posted: 6w

why doesn’t logic work?

My boyfriend is telling me every time im anxious, that if i didnt like him (i always think that i dont love him) i wouldnt suffer this much over my thoughts, and i could have just leave him. Its very true but i dont feel better at all and im thinking that i dont want to hurt hum or that im used to him and dont want to accept the reality and thats why i suffer because i am a good person???? im so sad and scared and anxious.

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