Do your thoughts feel more real when you’re depressed? I’m just feeling like I hate my boyfriend. I don’t get enough from him, like he doesn’t meet my basic needs like texting me when we’re not together, he doesn’t make plans, he is monotone so he isn’t always super kind or caring (he’s not mean just doesn’t show emotion), he doesn’t make me feel special unless we are together, and I feel like since he isnt meeting my emotional needs, and probably wouldn’t be open to showing more emotion or going out of his way to be more kind (makes him uncomfortable) it just makes me feel like we will never work unless I give up that need. But on another hand it feels like I need it more because I can’t give myself enough love. I just don’t know what a good relationship is supposed to look like and I’m really tired and I think I want to give up even though I know that doesn’t solve the problem and I don’t feel like myself right now. Idk I just feel like I’ve been forcing something and now that I feel more depressed, I’m not able to convince myself it’s working.

there is no cut and drive for what a good relationship is supposed to look like, you know it’s a good relationship when it makes you feel good and it’s worth the effort.

A good relationship is what’s good for you where all your needs are met, they take work and that’s not saying there’s never going to be arguments or talk to you guys need to have. A good relationship is one where you can open up to your partner when there’s issues and instead of breaking up being the first thought between you was working it out

I’d also like to add that you cannot assume your boyfriend’s response and that’s a big issue that I used to have, instead of assuming how he’s going to respond ask him anyways have that talk with him and see how he reacts most of the time we will be surprised by the way our partners react. If you react negatively then you have your answer and you no longer need to be in that relationship

I’d also like to add that you cannot assume your boyfriend’s response and that’s a big issue that I used to have, instead of assuming how he’s going to respond ask him anyways have that talk with him and see how he reacts most of the time we will be surprised by the way our partners react. If you react negatively then you have your answer and you no longer need to be in that relationship

Another thing is if you feel like you’re in that relationship because you can’t deal with yourself alone that’s also not a reason to be in a relationship and that you should in fact be dealing with your self alone if that’s what you can’t do. it’s not fair to the people that we are with to use them for some thing just because we can’t provide it for ourselves. We need them to be able to provide that stuff in accordance with what we can already give ourselves. What your boyfriend gives you should just be a cherry on top it shouldn’t be your soul reserve for self-esteem

Another thing is if you feel like you’re in that relationship because you can’t deal with yourself alone that’s also not a reason to be in a relationship and that you should in fact be dealing with your self alone if that’s what you can’t do. it’s not fair to the people that we are with to use them for some thing just because we can’t provide it for ourselves. We need them to be able to provide that stuff in accordance with what we can already give ourselves. What your boyfriend gives you should just be a cherry on top it shouldn’t be your soul reserve for self-esteem

Thank you Raee for your responses. They all described the struggles I am currently facing. I am unhappy in my relationship and know that my bf is not the right for me. Frequently I think , What is wrong with me?!!! He cares for me and is so attentive, loving , joyful. You know everything that a person who is in love exhibits. He told me he has a lot of love to give. It sickens me that I don't feel the same. He pushed hard and moved fast, claiming his love for me and wanting to marry me. Marriage was a hard no for me, but why I agreed to have him move in with me... Divorced and not being in a relationship for 4 years , I wanted so much to be in a relationship and in love. I think he thought he could mend my broken heart. I'm just too broken. I need to break up with him so he can find and be with someone who will love him just as much as he loves her. I have not gotten over my divorce which was 10 years ago. That is where my OCD lies . Grief, regret , deeply hurt and heart break of a great love lost. I am realizing that my ex most likely felt about me how I feel about my current bf. And my ex could not tell me he was no longer in love with me and could not end it. So I did after 5 years of rejection and in a platonic marriage. I an hanging on to all the years we were together and blissfully in love. I can't accept the loss. It is about loss not about being back together with my ex who no longer cares about me. He has severed the tie . I wish I could be hypnotized to forget about my life with my ex-husband even the good times because the good memories cause me even more pain than the rejection. But I would be erasing 25 years of my life. I should not be in a relationship. That is clear.