Rocd (cheating ocd)

Hi!, thanks for replying. I've been panicking and thinking that I have cheated on my boyfriend at some point while spending time with my friends. Most of my friends are my sister's friends. We all joke around and bully each other. They're online friends btw we text on discord. I have this guy friend that I used to have a crush on but I never acted on my feelings/thoughts. I always tried to consider him as my brother because he has helped me a lot when I was going through a hard time because of my rocd. My boyfriend knows about my rocd too but I don't wanna bother him with it right now. My guy friend also considers me as his sis, but my sis once was like " he probably had a crush on you at some point since you guys are the same age " my family doesn't know about my relationship YET, but I would laugh and be like " well, I consider him as a brother " she was like it's normal if he really did have a crush on you. I didn't really say much about that. But my guy friend is really supportive he has a gf too, my brain is convincing me that I still have a crush on him and I vent to him because I like him which is not true.

Yesterday, I vented to my guy friend because I was at my limit. My boyfriend has been so busy so I'm not venting to him. My guy friend gave me some advice and I kept saying thank you I really appreciate it. We always text on discord but then he said yk I haven't been using discord that much so if you want to talk you can text me on insta, you don't have to follow me there I don't want to trigger your ocd and you can delete your messages so it doesnt trigger you. I was like it's okay im okay with following you on insta you're like my brother after all then he said you can do you I just don't want to be a reason that makes you feel bad.

@joy M And when he said I don't want to be a reason that makes you feel bad, my ocd HIT. I was like what if I still like him. Sometimes I really wish he was my real brother, cuz if he was my real brother my ocd wouldn't have bothered me whenever I vented to him.

And saying that I used to have a crush on him makes me feel guilty.

This makes me feel better, tysm!!