So. My bf & I have one boundary each. His is for me to not snoop on his phone. Mine is for him to not communicate with girls from the past, even a simple hello Idc. I never asked him to delete them so he has pretty much every girl he’s been intimate with on his socials. They never reach out to him, but he will reply to their stories sometimes & it’s friendly but I don’t like it. The only way I have found out about this, it’s happened twice now, is by going on his phone. I’m upset because well I went on his phone & didn’t want to and that ate me up inside. And he now knows I did. And he threatened to dump me if I did it again. So I’m just anticipating him dumping me soon. It was my birthday so he wouldn’t do it now. But the focus has been primarily on my mistake. But, not what he did. And he brushed it off completely. He told me he didn’t care that i didn’t like that, that he’ll do what he wants kind of thing. Like any photos he wants and talk to who he wants. (He liked her photo while we been on this break which made me angrier) he was insensitive and dismissive when I explained why. We saw each other, he made a joke out of it saying “u don’t want me to like ____ pictures” and I was like no I mean I went on ur phone and u snapchatted her and lied to me. He didn’t know and was shocked. His mood switched for sure. He told her in the Snapchat he wasn’t allowed to talk to her cuz someone thinks they wanna fuck each other and the girl laughed. He has no thought in his mind what he said was not ok. Then in the car practically said he won’t talk to her cuz he doesn’t blah blah but if I go on his phone again he’s leaving me for good. Which I’m so sick of the threats. I was going to tell him to put a passcode on his phone so he feels more comfortable & also for me to prevent myself going on it cuz it is a huge issue for me myself. But we didn’t get that far. We’re still broken up/on a break and I feel like he only spoke to me because it was my birthday. He told me he didn’t care to talk to me much and I can feel the distance. We didn’t kiss or anything. It felt awkward and sad. I just am waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Relationship OCD

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y

I also have been in a really fucked up dark place for 3 weeks now and he knows that. My birthday was coming up and this is one of the worst birthdays I’ve had in a while. So he is probably sparing me because of that and feels bad. And I don’t want that. I want him to just rip off the band aid if he doesn’t wanna be with me. The waiting is killing me. It’s been 2 weeks now. 2 weeks. My ocd is running wild and I am anxious and I am so tired. He texted after I left saying he really tried to make the day special and he didn’t have to but he did cuz he loves me.

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y

@jacobzot Holy shit. Yes I do the feel the same

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y

@jacobzot I think they just value their freedom a lot and don’t know how to handle people with strong emotions. Usually ppl like that jump to logic rather than thinking oh damn this hurts my partner. How can they expect change when they are unwilling to do the same? And like u said, it isn’t fair. At all.

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y

@jacobzot My bf (or whatever we are rn) he fucked a lot of girls before we dated when we were in that on & off period so that’s why I have that tendency. I don’t wanna go on it but it’s the only way I know if something is happening behind my back. And seeing that I saw what he said and asked if he spoke to her and he lied to me. Just made me further prove my point. I think at this point if ur still togerher just say do what u want I don’t care anymore cuz what’s the point of wasting ur breath

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