So. My bf & I have one boundary each. His is for me to not snoop on his phone. Mine is for him to not communicate with girls from the past, even a simple hello Idc. I never asked him to delete them so he has pretty much every girl he’s been intimate with on his socials. They never reach out to him, but he will reply to their stories sometimes & it’s friendly but I don’t like it. The only way I have found out about this, it’s happened twice now, is by going on his phone. I’m upset because well I went on his phone & didn’t want to and that ate me up inside. And he now knows I did. And he threatened to dump me if I did it again. So I’m just anticipating him dumping me soon. It was my birthday so he wouldn’t do it now. But the focus has been primarily on my mistake. But, not what he did. And he brushed it off completely. He told me he didn’t care that i didn’t like that, that he’ll do what he wants kind of thing. Like any photos he wants and talk to who he wants. (He liked her photo while we been on this break which made me angrier) he was insensitive and dismissive when I explained why. We saw each other, he made a joke out of it saying “u don’t want me to like ____ pictures” and I was like no I mean I went on ur phone and u snapchatted her and lied to me. He didn’t know and was shocked. His mood switched for sure. He told her in the Snapchat he wasn’t allowed to talk to her cuz someone thinks they wanna fuck each other and the girl laughed. He has no thought in his mind what he said was not ok. Then in the car practically said he won’t talk to her cuz he doesn’t blah blah but if I go on his phone again he’s leaving me for good. Which I’m so sick of the threats. I was going to tell him to put a passcode on his phone so he feels more comfortable & also for me to prevent myself going on it cuz it is a huge issue for me myself. But we didn’t get that far. We’re still broken up/on a break and I feel like he only spoke to me because it was my birthday. He told me he didn’t care to talk to me much and I can feel the distance. We didn’t kiss or anything. It felt awkward and sad. I just am waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I’m struggling a ton rn and would love some insight from people. My bf and I broke up bc my OCD got to the point where it was extremely damaging to my exes mental health. We’ve been on a break for the last 2 months while I get therapy and help and he wants to try again in August. We talk everyday and fall asleep on the phone but I’m miserable anxious about what he’s been doing during the break. My mind is flooded with the idea that he might follow new girls on Instagram or he flirting and talking to new girls. It’s KILLING me. I’ve made up an entire situation w no proof. And I’m scared it’s not my OCD talking but a gut feeling. I know we aren’t together but it’s not fair to emotionally invest in each other if he’s not being loyal like I am. I’m just losing my mind and need help honestly.

hi everyone. i feel this is the only platform where i can vent. i have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. at first, i caught him messaging other girls, asking for their only fans and would message his cousin to text him saying they’re going to the movies that way he can escape with someone else. he would smoke and drink alot. last year, he told me he was drinking after work and wouldn’t answer my calls or texts. he did not get home until 4am and expected me to not be mad. he would aggressively throw things whenever he would be upset. this of course, created a lot of anxiety and trauma. that day, i grabbed my things and left. i ended up giving him a 2nd chance because he was begging me and promised he would change. just last night, he did the same exact thing. he was drinking with his coworkers and i called him because it was getting late (8pm). he kept declining and texted he was w his coworkers and not to pick him up because his cousin was going to pick him up to continue drinking. this of course made me very upset and I told him i felt neglected. I told him I was done with our relationship because I cannot continue to tolerate this. he turned off his phone and got home until 1am. he was upset and said i should just wait for him to get home to talk. today, i packed my bags and left. i do not want to continue feeling anxious or neglected. am i in the wrong for packing my things and leaving? should i have stayed and talked to him? i am super heartbroken as we also had a dog who we both love very much. i feel like i lost my 2 loves and my heart is shattered. i would greatly appreciate anyone to respond. thank you!

i made a first post about this, this is the second part. but i decided to stay with him and things took a toll today. lately, for weeks now, i can’t get the thought of him cheating on me out of my head. some things have happened to cause me to think like this but recently it’s gotten worse. we got into a huge huge argument today and we nearly broke up. we had set a rule on instagram about updating each other when we posted or changed our profile photo bc he had trust issues with that in the past so we set those rules for him. and I gladly did so. but then today i texted him, nearly 10 hours went by - no response - then i open up instagram and he posted something without letting me know. so I got upset told him if that’s how he wants to do things then he can. then he got upset because i always “assume” things without asking but there was nothing to ask because you’ve been on your phone but you can’t text ur gf back? he claimed he was asleep and he woke up to post, and he said he saw my text but he didn’t feel like talking to me and didn’t know what to respond to with. on top of that his posts r made for a female audience. and then he said “you’re tweaking when ive only been gone for 9 hours”, but yesterday he got disappointed when i didn’t respond within an hour. and I told him his double standards are insane. he got mad. told me I should just leave him since he’s not enough and I made him feel like a sh*tbag. I don’t know what to do. i want to be with him but everytime we fight we end up fighting against each other and not the problem. he told me i need to ask before i assume things, but when i ask he says “im tired, i don’t wanna do this right now, im not worried about that can we just chill”. I don’t feel emotionally safe to open up to him. and he takes everything as an attack. he told me I should be with someone I trust but he’s not understanding that I want to trust him and I want to be with him and the reason why I don’t trust him is because of things he’s done and not because of my past, he thinks im projecting my past onto our rls. we decided to see if we could go 2 weeks without arguing and if we can’t we need to breakup but how can I improve my trust with him and our rls in general?