Is questioning attraction to others a sign of relationship OCD?

I could be wrong but this sounds more like OCD in general rather than relationship OCD but since you are experiencing it while being in a relationship, it might feel like ROCD. I had ROCD and it was more focused on me doubting my partner and everything my partner did before we even started dating. It just popped in my head one day and took 6 months of talking it out with my very supportive partner for it to go away. I used to obsess about my parters life before me and repeated do compulsions. I was anxious and made my partner anxious too, which they did not deserve at all. This was before I got diagnosed with OCD. So I didn’t even realise what was happening to me

I don’t want to give you reassurance on this but only to say that I’ve been there before and it is a very painful experience. My heart goes out to you!!!

Anyone else get the same thing?

I am sorry that this is so challenging. OCD will always take what is dear to us and try to turn it around. And doing compulsions will make the ocd stronger, so by “checking” you are making the ocd stronger. When the intrusive thought comes into your mind, you can acknowledge it as an intrusive thought and remind yourself that you don’t need to figure out the answer to the question. This doesn’t mean the anxiety will go down, or the thought will magically disappear, but it means that you will not argue with ocd to try and prove or disprove an intrusive thought because ocd will never allow you to win the argument.

It sounds to me like it could be relationship OCD. Checking attraction to other women is a compulsion that will make the ocd stronger. When you get an intrusive thought about someone else being attractive, instead of comparing sit with the thought and the anxiety instead of testing yourself and instead of trying to prove or disprove the intrusive thoughts acknowledge the thought and let it be there. We must live by our values and not our fear. The truth is we don’t know what we would do in any given scenario, but people do live according to their values and that is all we can know.