Triggered over Tik tok again ugh

The comments are terrible too

I feel like I’m always seeing videos w or about lesbians / comphet ever since my HOCD Started a few years ago. I also see videos about trauma / attachment styles/ anxiety in relationships and sometimes I’m like omg yes then I’ll read the comments and someone will comment something like maybe you’re gay or maybe were all just gay. And then I literally spiral again. Ever since I saw 1 comment like that I feel like I NEED to check the comments all the time to see if there’s a comment like that and if there is im triggered and if there isn’t im reassured. I just feel like it’s never ending and sometimes I feel like it’s this sign that I must be in denial and don’t have HOCD. And I’m sorry I know I’m ranting but I’m doing so bad rn

@cc97 no need to apologize!! sometimes we need someone to hear and absorb what we go through in a non compulsive way. i wont provide reassurance BUT i can say i wholeheardly relate to that. i always scroll thru the comments checking for that ONE random user that’s like “milfl0ver9000” saying we’re all gay or all bi or all comphet. it’s so hard to hear everyone’s input constantly, completely unfiltered. i too have read comments that still stick w me to this day and i search for if that statement is true/false in my personal life and on tik tok.

@Anonymous It’s nice to hear I’m not the only one who has to read the comments and kind of clings to the one triggering one. Like 99% of the comments could be like oh ya it’s from xyz and 1 person could say “it’s cause ur gay” and my mind is like well that must be true even tho there’s only 1 out of 100 comments saying that

@Anonymous sometimes it helps to use tik tok as an exposure, other times it helps to delete it and take a break, do something that’s calming. personally, i love coloring in my coloring book that my bf bought me!

@Anonymous Thank you! Do you have any other tips for coping w HOCD?

@cc97 sometimes laughing at our thoughts helps!

@Anonymous Does your bf know? About ur aHocd?

@cc97 ohhh yes!! he knows how the cycle works and he knows how ridiculous it sounds when i say something like “what if i looked at that girl too long??? and that makes me this sexuality??”. he always is good about redirecting my attention and not reassuring (although sometimes he does bc it’s instinctive, but we are working on it🙂) point is, if you explain it to your partner and how ocd looks, they can be incredibly understanding and accepting of it! it’s nice to know that your partner has got your back and sympathizes with your condition, even when sometimes it can make them feel frustrated.

@Anonymous I’m worried that the seeing I’m talking too won’t understand and will think I’m just in denial

@cc97 you can bring it up on your own terms if you truly want to. you don’t owe anyone that deep level of vulnerability if you don’t feel comfortable yet. but sometimes it can deepen your connection w someone! not everyone understands it right away, just like we didn’t understand it right away!