- Date posted
- 3y
Religious thoughts
I know I post like 6 to 10 times a day but it's been a tough 4 years dealing with these sorry for posting a lot just trying to cope. My thoughts and images got so bad I thought I saw jeuse at the end of the film and then went inside and panic for some reason and then start picturing hell and burning images and it got worst from there long story the week I was already paranoid from covid and health anxiety got 10x times worst at this point I can't tell if its images or hallucinations I got a big fear of schizophrenia I feel like that could of been a big cause of all this. Ever since that day when I thought I saw jeuse the images been so bad I forgot if there just images or hallucinations i heard that hallucinations are part of schizophrenia. Weeks before this jesus image or hallucinations week after covid I was having a image of heaven in my mind then I look up schizophrenia and then look up hallucinations then when I saw that schizophrenia and hallucinations are big part of each other o start imaging to see if I se heaven or hell and then I start to check if I could hear voices and it just got worst from there. And now I got panic and very anxious and ran away from the image or hallucination on the hill I been overthinking schizophrenia? Was it actually him? Am I going die? And then the images kept following me everywhere when I started letting get more and more everyday 4/5 weeks or more later and sti getting to me and I was convinced I saw him but it died move it glow but only last a few seconds I already thought I was going have a heart attack before that happened but I heard if you saw jeuse or angels death is near. I just don't know anymore then I look on google and none of the images match as show on Google and then I start looking at people schizophrenia story's to make me feel better but I felt the same afterwards and I keep getting s urge or impulse to check the hill over and over and when I check I see the image cause my mind is wanting to see it I don't know how to explain it hard to describe anything is I look how the bible or Google describes then I start image it how it was on the hill and I never can se either how I saw it the first time it only last a few seconds and I felt very unreal cause I went into a panic attack a little I believe and was paranoid all night and lottlenall day then I started hearing blown nosies and other things cause I was letting it get to me. Sorry for posting to much again but I feel like I needed to get it off my chest and been holding it in and sorry for my spelling as well really sorry but hope y'all understand ♥️ I post another post explaining it more best I can