I’m obsessing or under obsessing about something

I was fine a few days, weeks ago. I think I relapsed. I’m not sure. But I went to visit my mom because she needed a ride, and I got some really awful evil intrusive thoughts. So I left, and apologized for leaving. But now I feel like I did something or she’s mad at me, or she thinks I did something. I want to visit her and my family but I genuinely don’t trust myself right now. I feel awful and exhausted , like really really tired, so I’m not sure what to do. I know locking myself away isn’t the answer, but I’m scared of these thoughts. Can anyone else relate?

"Pure" OCD

Username: SydneyRJSydneyRJ

Date posted: 2y ago

Absolutely yes I can relate. I struggled with harmful thoughts with my sisters about two years ago and it ended up putting me in the hospital because I broke down. I didn’t want to be with my family because I was ashamed, but little by little, I did it anyway. I would spent time with them even thought I didn’t want to and felt like an imposter. But I reached out for help and it came. It did not happen over night and I still struggle with other ocd stuff but eventually I was able to face my thoughts and fears. I’m not cured because those thoughts still happen but they don’t have the same power anymore. Reach out for help and keep holding on.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

Yes I can relate . I too have been there. It hasn't been too long ago, I too became a hermit. Didn't go anywhere, see anybody. I just stayed home. It's been a couple of months, thanks to my therapist, Georgiana. I'm now going to the store. I've seen my mom for the first time in 2 years, and back at church. I haven't trusted myself for almost a year. But that's changed somewhat now. It's time for you to take some time to just sit with you. .Its not easy to forgive yourself. But it's a start. Don't beat up on yourself, please. It doesn't do any good.Take some time for you and your thoughts. Take a shower, sit outside and smell the fresh air, get comfy. Tomorrow is another day and things always look better the next day. Have a pleasant evening.

Username: Samwise33Samwise33

Date posted: 2y ago

I completely understand! I went through the same thing with my mom, although my intrusive thoughts are a bit different now but still, sufferable. I was on a vacation on Hawaii and when one random night, I started having having thoughts of hurting my mom. I got so scared I couldn’t sleep for a few nights without having to rely on Benadryl. One night, those thoughts bothered me so much I went crazy and almost ran out of the bathroom because I was hiding in there. Hocd really scared me. I couldn’t believe I had such thoughts. My mom helped me go to sleep for the first two nights I went through by talking to me and me telling her a story.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

Thank you Lord for great mom's, who understand! Thank you for sharing.

Username: Scribble

Date posted: 4y ago

Sometimes I worry that I don’t have ocd and that I’m losing my mind and that I’ll never feel better again. I was starting to feel really good last night and I thought it was finally over so I went ahead and did a lot of the stuff I enjoyed doing before this happened (the reason I had to stop was because certain things were triggering in either one way or another) but eventually I hit a point where I just could not bring myself to do something because it was causing too much anxiety. I got this horrible image last night in a dream and then I began to get a flurry of bothersome thoughts, so now I have 2 obsessions to worry about now. The first one is kind of in control but I’m just afraid what’s going to happen to my brain and I’m worried about having an episode in front of my family, who I’m supposed to be having a small dinner with today. I don’t want to tell them what’s going on but I’m afraid they’ll notice that I’m not well. I’m never present because I’m always in my head analyzing and ruminating and worrying. The feeling last night gave me hope that I could be myself again but I just worry that these thoughts will always linger and make me lose my mind. :(

"Pure" OCD

Username: Ebby7

Date posted: 2y ago

Kind of at my end.

I am adding a trigger warning, but I’ll still be mindful to censor. So I guess I would say I’m in a relapse. I was doing well (I think). I wasn’t having intrusive thoughts and I overcame a really hard theme. So for a few months I was doing pretty okay. My living situation and relationship took a huge hit and I guess I couldn’t handle the pressure idk. Anyway, one day I was trying to sleep and I got this intrusive thought about losing my mind I guess. Not being able to identify anything, speak, ect. Just being a blank mind or something. (I know, doesn’t my one ounce of sense to me either) Anyway, this really scared me, triggered me so badly that one of my old themes that I truly thought I had overcame came back. Not only did it come back, it sent me spiraling ( still am). It feels so much worse this time. And I’m struggling to overcome it. This thought: “how do we understand words?” And then it’s spirals into other thoughts related to this, but I’ll leave it at this. I can’t cope, my mind is hyper fixated on every word, not just mine. I can no longer watch tv comfortably, listen to conversations, or even speak myself. It’s making me feel like “unaliving” myself. I feel extremely alone in this. Like as if I’m the only person in the world to ever think this or struggle with this kind of theme. Getting some feedback would be great, but I won’t hold my breath.

Existential OCD

Username: Bridget11

Date posted: 40w ago

Feeling lost

I’m not 100% sure that I have OCD, but I do have PTSD and some new intrusive thoughts were triggered a couple weeks ago. It feels like they have changed my whole perception of my life since then. Every experience that should be fun or relaxing is tainted with the horrible dread I feel when these thoughts creep in. I was really enjoying my life for a while before these new thoughts started and it feels like I have lost contact with that version of myself and my life. I’m afraid of these thoughts tainting things that I want to stay good and pure. I’m just feeling really lost about how to soothe myself and dig out of this

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I’m obsessing or under obsessing about something

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