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Absolutely yes I can relate. I struggled with harmful thoughts with my sisters about two years ago and it ended up putting me in the hospital because I broke down. I didn’t want to be with my family because I was ashamed, but little by little, I did it anyway. I would spent time with them even thought I didn’t want to and felt like an imposter. But I reached out for help and it came. It did not happen over night and I still struggle with other ocd stuff but eventually I was able to face my thoughts and fears. I’m not cured because those thoughts still happen but they don’t have the same power anymore. Reach out for help and keep holding on.

Yes I can relate . I too have been there. It hasn't been too long ago, I too became a hermit. Didn't go anywhere, see anybody. I just stayed home. It's been a couple of months, thanks to my therapist, Georgiana. I'm now going to the store. I've seen my mom for the first time in 2 years, and back at church. I haven't trusted myself for almost a year. But that's changed somewhat now. It's time for you to take some time to just sit with you. .Its not easy to forgive yourself. But it's a start. Don't beat up on yourself, please. It doesn't do any good.Take some time for you and your thoughts. Take a shower, sit outside and smell the fresh air, get comfy. Tomorrow is another day and things always look better the next day. Have a pleasant evening.

I completely understand! I went through the same thing with my mom, although my intrusive thoughts are a bit different now but still, sufferable. I was on a vacation on Hawaii and when one random night, I started having having thoughts of hurting my mom. I got so scared I couldn’t sleep for a few nights without having to rely on Benadryl. One night, those thoughts bothered me so much I went crazy and almost ran out of the bathroom because I was hiding in there. Hocd really scared me. I couldn’t believe I had such thoughts. My mom helped me go to sleep for the first two nights I went through by talking to me and me telling her a story.