- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Absolutely yes I can relate. I struggled with harmful thoughts with my sisters about two years ago and it ended up putting me in the hospital because I broke down. I didn’t want to be with my family because I was ashamed, but little by little, I did it anyway. I would spent time with them even thought I didn’t want to and felt like an imposter. But I reached out for help and it came. It did not happen over night and I still struggle with other ocd stuff but eventually I was able to face my thoughts and fears. I’m not cured because those thoughts still happen but they don’t have the same power anymore. Reach out for help and keep holding on.
- Date posted
- 3y
Yes I can relate . I too have been there. It hasn't been too long ago, I too became a hermit. Didn't go anywhere, see anybody. I just stayed home. It's been a couple of months, thanks to my therapist, Georgiana. I'm now going to the store. I've seen my mom for the first time in 2 years, and back at church. I haven't trusted myself for almost a year. But that's changed somewhat now. It's time for you to take some time to just sit with you. .Its not easy to forgive yourself. But it's a start. Don't beat up on yourself, please. It doesn't do any good.Take some time for you and your thoughts. Take a shower, sit outside and smell the fresh air, get comfy. Tomorrow is another day and things always look better the next day. Have a pleasant evening.
- Date posted
- 3y
I completely understand! I went through the same thing with my mom, although my intrusive thoughts are a bit different now but still, sufferable. I was on a vacation on Hawaii and when one random night, I started having having thoughts of hurting my mom. I got so scared I couldn’t sleep for a few nights without having to rely on Benadryl. One night, those thoughts bothered me so much I went crazy and almost ran out of the bathroom because I was hiding in there. Hocd really scared me. I couldn’t believe I had such thoughts. My mom helped me go to sleep for the first two nights I went through by talking to me and me telling her a story.
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you Lord for great mom's, who understand! Thank you for sharing.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
My last and almost life long theme/sub-theme largely subsided recently and my ocd felt like it wasn’t even an issue. Then I went on winter break from uni and being alone made my mind come up with a whole new topic to obsess over. TLDR on my fears, my advisor wouldn’t email me back for a while about signing up for classes so my mind started to worry “what if he doesn’t in time and you can’t enroll this semester and you lose this whole life you just built and all these new friends” So when that issue was resolved my mind found other scarier ways I could be uprooted from my current life and friends that I’ve grown so attached to. Then my mind remembered back when I was struggling with false memories and scrupulosity and I essentially made a post on a forum 2 and a half years ago saying I did something or was convinced I did something that I never actually did. Now I’ve been spiraling about someone finding it reporting me and I either get seen as a horrible person or arrested or something over something I never actually did but “admitted” to out of fear of going to hell. My mind won’t let it go and keeps finding new reasons for it to be “valid” “logical” or even inevitable. I feel like it’s just hanging over my head and I can never rest easy. Especially when I try to focus on my daily tasks or plan for the future I get this horrible flair up of “why plan for the future when this could come back in that future and you get uprooted from all of it” my mind won’t rest without certainty being uprooted won’t happen but certainty doesn’t exist, at least not with ocd. This sucks and I miss being care free.
- Date posted
- 18w
i’ve been dealing with this “thing” since i was 15. (i’m 23 now) if i have a bad memory that i have done when i was really young or just an intrusive thought i feel like i need to tell my mom or boyfriend. it’s been on and off ever since but since January hit it’s been an everyday thing about the littlest things. mostly about my relationship. an example is i was talking to someone random at my job and we were talking about taxes and when im in deep thought or just thinking i do a thing where i bite my lip (not in the sexual way) and i had a thought when it happened “was that sexual?” and i felt like i did something wrong and i went for a while thinking that until i told my boyfriend about it. or like my ex’s face has popped up in my head in the most inappropriate times and i feel the need that i have to tell him. (my ex was not a good person) i feel like im a prisoner in my head everyday, trying to justify thoughts or remind myself that its just a thought. i didnt know that this was or could be a form of ocd. it runs in my family but i’ve just never considered it being this. i always called it anxiety or depression but i always felt like it is more than that.
- Date posted
- 15w
Hey so a couple months ago (7-8) I remember being upset at my family member. Like she was talking too much while I was annoyed and remember wanting her to be quiet. I got an intrusive thought like a really bad image of doing something really bad to her, and my hand twitched to the side a little? Like it felt like I was about to?! And I remembered thinking "if I do this, I'll get in trouble". I got up and left to the bathroom and felt horrified! I was thinking "did I want to act out? Did the only reason I didn't act out was because of getting in trouble? If there was no consequences, would have I done it?! Does this mean this whole time I've been using OCD as an excuse?" I remember I couldn't sleep for 3 nights because of how bad the anxiety was, I was crying and I felt very guilty like I should turn myself in to a mental hospital. I couldn't eat for many days or be near her because of that thought and twitch I had! I'm worried it was an impulse or I actually wanted to hurt her. And even to this day I still ruminanate about this. Like last night I couldn't sleep well I kept waking up every two hours and asking myself "am I capable?" I couldn't eat last night. Sometimes I move on from it like I forget that happened but when I remember, I feel distressed about it! I don't want to be an evil person or do bad actions towards anyone! I'm even scared to be angry because of this because I'm scared I have more "chance" of acting out due to anger. Like was it an impulse and I held back? Is this even OCD? Please help, I'm really scared!
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond