River 2367
- Date posted
- 3y
Confession
How does someone with Real event ocd deal with the urge to confess? Like how do you prevent yourself from confessing the event to your partner? This dilemma is making me suicidal, please help.
allieandscrupallieandscrup
- Date posted
- 3y
I know it’s easier said than done, but you have to physically stop yourself from confessing. It’s so hard. It feels like you just have to do it. The first few times you make yourself stop, it will be really hard, and you might mess up, but that’s okay. Keep trying. If you can get through that anxiety of resisting to confess a couple times and just riding down that anxiety wave, it gets so much easier to resist. I’ve been there, it sucks, but it can be overcome.
River 2367River 2367
- Date posted
- 3y
Even if the event is really bad? Someone on another OCD forum said you have to be open & honest with your partner & tell them because it's such a big part of your life & now I don't know what to believe 😭 I know he would hate me if I told him.
allieandscrupallieandscrup
- Date posted
- 3y
@Plop I understand how this can be such a dilemma. For me it first started because I confessed some things to my partner that I had legitimately been hiding and should have told him sooner, things that shouldn’t have ever happened. But it spiraled into uncontrollable urges to confess anything I could think of that may have been wrong or may upset him, change the way he feels about me, etc. I think if it were like “I did one really bad thing, I have to come clean,” then yes of course we have to be open and honest. But it sounds like you’re able to identify this as an ocd urge and a compulsion, which we know we should stop ourselves from doing. It’s hard to walk the line between wanting to be open and honest about everything while also resisting compulsions. If it were easy, we wouldn’t have ocd about it haha. Personally, I told my partner that I was having these urges to confess but that I needed to stop because it was compulsive, and he was completely supportive. He didn’t feel like I was trying to hide stuff from him. If you haven’t already discussed this ocd experience with your partner, it may help!
River 2367River 2367
- Date posted
- 3y
@allieandscrup I've not confessed anything yet. It's like I know it's OCD that's making me want to confess but at the same time, regardless of the OCD, it feels like something he should know about my past so that he can make the full decision whether or not to be with me. And I'm pretty sure he would leave me if he knew. But is there the argument that we should leave things in the past if that's not who we are now?
allieandscrupallieandscrup
- Date posted
- 3y
@Plop Obviously ocd will feed into the uncertainty of both would he leave, and also is telling him the right thing to do. You need to follow your values. I guess a question to ask yourself is would you want to know if the situation were reversed, or would it not matter to you? Since I don’t know what the situation is I can’t say how I’d feel about it, but you can. If you do end up deciding it’s important enough to share, you can definitely be open about how you feel now about it. That you really value the relationship, this thing is in the past, and you’re very anxious about it. Also, most importantly, if you do share, just be aware that it may trigger the urge to confess additional things. If it does, you can definitely say okay this is ocd, I’m not confessing anything anymore haha
Related posts
DannyO507
- Date posted
- 18w
I need help dealing with this
I have been really really struggling for the past 3 months and haven’t been able to stop intrusive thoughts/ rumination and confessing. It’s making me question my entire life, my relationship and even who I am as a person. It’s mainly effecting my relationship, I am so afraid that I did something or think things that are definitely hurtful to my partner. I know my brain is contorting my own memory and making things seem so much worse. I also know I haven’t done anything bad, all my things I’ve confessed about have been considered “normal” and I’ve been told that “you’re normal, you didn’t do anything wrong”. But I have felt this intense sense of guilt and shame and it doesn’t go away, I can’t even be a normal person anymore. And I keep searching for “just one more thing I need to tell” and I don’t want to keep searching my brain of every time I’ve said or done anything that I can distort and make seem 1000% worse. I’m isolating myself and just feel like I’m a bad person. I keep confessing my thoughts, feeling, urges, etc. to my partner and while I know I would never do any of these I feel like my ocd is trying to convince me that maybe I would because “why else would you think it or feel guilty” and that makes it so much worse. I really need guidance on how to handle this. What do I do to stop feeling like this and heal?
Sillygoose27
- Date posted
- 14w
OCD Guilt
I can’t help but feel so anxious because of guilt. I feel guilty about not sharing everything about my OCD to my partner, but because I understand that confession itself is a compulsion and would not help anyone. I feel so anxious too that if all my fears come true and she finds out, then it would be so devastating for everyone especially her. Does anyone feel the same thing? How could I change my perspective on this?
KAW1007
- Date posted
- 12w
Confession Compulsions
Does anyone feel the urge to confess secrets even though they’re not yours to share? My husband told me about a traumatic event he had and trusts me to keep the secret. It has NOTHING to do with me at all. And my brain is making me feel like I need or want to tell someone. I want to be trustworthy and my brain is making me feel like I’m not because of this obsession. It’s so confusing because I know I don’t need to but I feel like I “want to” because of the OCD anxiety? And the feeling of wanting to makes me feel more anxious and like a terrible person. I have confessed literally everything to my mom about my thoughts so she’s my safe person. And I had an emotionally abusive dad (probably how I got OCD at a young age - like 8 years old) that has now passed away. So confiding in her even with intrusive thoughts and messed up shit was safe for me. Does my brain feel like I need to tell her just because she’s my safe person? I hate the feeling of me “wanting” to tell at all too and can’t tell if it’s real and it’s making me feel like a horrible person. I literally have no secrets myself. His mom knows and so do I. So I’m not the only one that knows. But why is my brain doing this? It’s spiraling me out and has been for a few days. But I want to keep the secret because it’s HIS and it doesn’t affect me in any way. I mean sure I feel bad for him - but it’s from his past before we even met? Someone please help me rationalize why I feel these things and why it’s so confusing to know if you actually “want” to do something or if it’s OCD? It’s causing a deep anxiety pit in my stomach and has been for days now.
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