I can’t stop being bothered by my boyfriend masturbating. I think it’s because he has a low sex drive and we don’t have sex as often as I’d like, yet he is able to masturbate regularly without issue. Often we will have sex and he doesn’t finish, which I understand and try not to let bother me but with him having such ease with masturbating and watching porn I sometimes wonder if I can’t satisfy him enough. He says that’s not the case and that it’s completely his deal with low sex drive and whatnot. I feel like I’m crazy for being bothered by him masturbating but I can’t help it. It triggers my anxiety and sometimes feels like a slap in the face (he one time left me to go masturbate while I was asleep for an hour and I didn’t find out until I woke up). In that case it felt like he could’ve woken me up or waited for me to wake up if he was in the mood. It just feels like a waste when he rarely gets horny and he was, and I was right there, yet he chose not to initiate sex with me. The other night we were on the phone and we usually talk until we both go to sleep, but he instead told me he was just going to let me go to sleep and he’d talk to me in the morning, not that he too was going to sleep. I know this was because he was going to masturbate and then sleep, but he didn’t want to tell me. Again this made me anxious and led me to go over and over the obsession. In that case we weren’t together, but we used to send each other sexual messages and perhaps photos and that never happens now, so it feels like there’s a disconnect with us sexually and I’m not sure how to feel about it or what exactly is going on if anything is wrong. I’m sure most of this is all normal but as you know, it’s so hard to tell yourself to ignore it. And to top it off I think I’m feeling a bit of cognitive dissonance due to the fact that yes I am human and I too masturbate, so feeling bad about his masturbation really bothers me since I do it too. Maybe it’s the fact that I do it without telling him, because him telling me or alluding to it makes me feel devalued. I’m not sure, but I look forward to hearing everyone’s thoughts. Thanks!

TMI!! Hey everyone, I was coming on here to ask if anyone has experienced this before! Im in an amazing relationship with my boyfriend so in this post I wanted to ask this question because this is how it felt to me! I remembered earlier today I was watching this movie, etc. and there was this spicy scene in it (iykyk) and it got me feeling some sort of way. This has happened before especially if I’ve played a game or watched a show with some content like this. I felt really in the mood and started to imagine my boyfriend and I doing those things together and I sort of decided to (yanno, the m word) hopefully everyone understands because I just don’t like saying the word😭, but I found that every time I do that, that’s when my ocd is at its worst/peak. Every time my mind has tried to convince me I’ve cheated, when I self pleasure. I get in the mood if I think of my boyfriend and I doing those things I see in movies, shows etc, and that’s when I’ll do it, But literally I realized after I’ve done that at times my ocd is at its worst because my mind will attack me constantly asking “Is this cheating? Does this make me a horrible girlfriend?” If I self pleasure, I also want to add that I mentioned it to my boyfriend at one time and he told me it wasn’t at all and that everything is okay, but constantly I feel guilty for it and extremely horrible. Just wanted to see if anyone else has experienced this?

When I was single, I watched a lot of porn, specifically lesbian porn even though I’m straight. When I got into my current relationship I dwindled down and eventually stopped watching porn of any kind, around six or so months ago. I had a flare up recently that has caused me to question every part of myself including my sexuality and my identity, my relationship, and other things that are important and valued to me, and porn keeps popping up in all of these things. I feel like my porn usage was me cheating on my boyfriend, especially in the early parts of our relationship. I broke down to him last month about it and he said it was okay, that he forgives me, but I’m still hung up on it because I can’t shake the feeling that I’ve wronged him and that I’m a terrible person and that I need to leave him because of this. This is so excruciatingly painful. I don’t want to keep confessing over and over and over again, but I don’t want to be a dirty lying cheater, which I feel like I am.

i was with my lover we didn't have that much time together and at some point she fell asleep because she was overwhelmed. at first, I was okay with it but as time passed I started to feel stressed andd annoyed, because i wanted to spend time together which is no excuse i feel bad about this. also, i hoped we might have been intimate ( i didn't tell her or ask her to be intimate tho) and the fact that she was sleeping meant that we couldn't cus we wouldn't have had enough time so idk i felt annoyed about that. i have this thing that i deeply hate where every time we have alone time together i get the hopes that we might be intimidate but when j realise we probably can't i start having this obsession where i have to reassure myself to the point of nausea because the idea of being disappointed ( or actually feeling disappointed) about not having sex terrifies me ,it makes me feel like im dangerous or that i want to force myself on her so i just start repeating to myself that it's fine. so like this obsession started happening, but im afraid that for a moment ( idk how brief it was, im deeply ashamed of this ) i felt justified about being annoyed about not having sex because she was sleeping and it's not fair cus she was struggling and overwhelmed and i should have cared about that not about fickle things. but still I was annoyed and stressed out ( because I also started feeling really guilty ) and when she told me she was sorry about her mood i don't think i reassured her properly, i told her it was okay but i wasn't that sweet, I was a bit quiet idk if i actually seemed annoyed. after a little while i tried to stop feeling this weird wnd i tried to focus on her and how she felt, so I cuddled her and tried to make her feel better. I reassured her that she had nothing to be sorry for, that it's okay if she had a bad day. in the end she did feel better, she thanked me a thousand times for being patient and kind but that made me feel even worse because internally i felt annoyed which is horrible. i feel terrible also, i tried to wake her up a few times. it's not unusual because she usually tells me to let her nap 10 minutes. so at first i let her nap for like 30 mins cus she had very little sleep that day, i wanted her to rest. and then j started to try and wake her up, when she wouldn't wake up i would let her nap a little while longer ( at least 10 mins ) but i feel bad because i probably was a little pushy because i felt annoyed about not having that much time together and so not having time to be intimate. idk. i feel horrible. i shouldn't be that annoying and annoyed about not having sex, It feels so scary that i insisted on waking her up, i hate being pushy. idk