- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Read on erectile disfunction and porn. Its an addiction. I dont think women should just accept that men are different, thats old world thinking its 2019. This is happening because his expectations are distorted because porn is fiction. Itll only get worse if he doesn’t cut it off.
- Date posted
- 6y
I'm also bothered by my fiance masturbating. Try not to let it get to you. Masturbation and sex mean different things to men especially. They masturbate for the quick release and not having to focus on anyone but themselves. My fiance does it to relieve stress. I'd say only worry if it completely interferes with your sex life. Though, from personal experience, my fiance wants to have sex with me less when my anxiety is through the roof...so that could be a factor.
- Date posted
- 6y
See I don’t know if it really does interfere with our sex life, because there will be times when he can’t finish and he says it’s because he masturbated the night before, or times when he won’t be in the mood or able to perform because he already masturbated and it takes him so long to build back up libido.
- Date posted
- 6y
It's the same with my fiance. He can't finish if he already came recently (that day) and it makes him not in the mood to have sex. I understand. It's frustrating and it feels personal. But for me, I'm not necessarily in the mood when he's masturbating anyway... I just wish he'd still go after me. Lol
- Date posted
- 6y
I should also clarify, I am also male, he is gay I am bi, though the concern still stands and definitely applies to women in regards to their boyfriends, but with a bit of a different perspective. And to Aela’s point, I agree, he told me he likes masturbating because he can just pick up his phone and look at what ever he wants to masturbate to. Sure I’ve watched porn before, but I know that it’s fake and I make the best out of what my boyfriend and I have, not let myself think it should be perfect and exactly like porn.
- Date posted
- 6y
I feel the same way. I felt weird when I found out my boyfriend had masturbated recently after telling me he had stopped, and he told me he wouldn’t do it anymore if it caused me anxiety. Also watching porn and masturbating can literally cause a man’s brain (and penis) to become numb to the idea of sex, it’s strange but this is what happened to my boyfriend right before we began dating. He had issues with his sex drive and staying hard but then he stopped watching porn and masturbating and now has a completely normal sex drive. He still has issues with getting off though which sometimes feels frustrating and like it’s my fault but it’s definitely something that goes on men’s heads. Maybe if you talk to your partner about how it makes you feel and if you look into how porn and masturbating can effect men’s sensitivity and sex drive to present to him, your partner will take that into consideration, especially if you let your partner know this effects your anxiety.
- Date posted
- 6y
@jesspb 100% facts.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
I'm 18, and been in a relationship with my man for nearly 2 years. I started living with him around 2 months ago, and all I do is think about if he's cheating. We were long distance for a year and a half of our relationship, maybe seeing eachother once every month or two. I decided to move in with him, and ever since all I can think about is if he's cheating or watching porn. When he's in another room I think he's doing something wrong, I have to check on him every ten minutes to ease my anxiety. I didn't have this problem before moving in. Granted he has talked to some girls on his phone, even having his ex on his phone (didn't do anything bad) and he is porn addicted though he is getting better for me. It's gotten so bad I want to leave him. A couple days ago I broke up with him and it absolutely broke my heart, I couldn't bare it so I gave him a month to show me he can do better, and for me to work on myself. If I'm still unhappy with us I'm going to leave. I love this boy more than anything. I'm scared to be without him, this is my first real relationship. At this point I refuse to even sleep until he is sleeping. I don't want to start over, I don't want to leave him, but I really can't take this pain it's causing me. It's all I think about. I've convinced myself so many times that he's cheating, but I know he wouldn't. I question whether it's anxiety or intuition. Maybe I just know deep down he really is cheating and I just don't want to believe it. I don't know. I don't think he would do that, but at the same time he's really into women. I hate that he looks at other girls in a sexual way, it bothers me so much, and we talk about it often, but with it being an addiction it's difficult. He has gotten a lot better since we have talked about it. He understands I have an issue and is usually happy to talk about it over and over and promise me over and over that he's not cheating. He allows me to have his phone whenever I want and everything, I have no reason to think he's cheating, but I can't get over it. It's not fair to him either. How do I deal with this? How do I stop hurting so much?
- Date posted
- 24w
I’ve been struggling with something that’s been really overwhelming, and I’m hoping to get some perspective from others here. I feel a lot of guilt about it, and I’m not sure if I’m alone in this experience. Lately, I’ve found myself daydreaming about romantic situations or getting caught up in ‘what if’ scenarios—where I wonder if I could develop feelings for someone else, or if someone develops feelings for me. The thing is, I’m in a relationship that I love, and I don’t want to act on these thoughts at all. What makes it even harder is that these thoughts often hyperfixate on one specific friend, and sometimes they feel entertaining or give me a dopamine rush. But then, of course, I feel even more guilty because it makes me feel like I’m betraying my boyfriend. These thoughts usually happen when I’m upset and looking for comfort, but then they morph into romantic scenarios, which makes me feel so disloyal. I’m constantly going back and forth between feeling curious or entertained by the thoughts and then feeling horrible for even allowing them to happen in the first place. I keep confessing these thoughts to my boyfriend, and he tries to be understanding. He’s just never been the type to daydream, so he doesn’t know if this is something other people experience or if it’s just me. I feel like such an awful girlfriend. Has anyone else dealt with something like this?
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- Date posted
- 15w
I cannot tell if this is OCD assigning meaning where there is none, or if it is something else entirely. I have ADHD, and I tend to hyperfixate on people, specifically men I find interesting. It feels like a crush. Maybe it is a crush. I do not know. It does not matter. I daydream a lot. I have posted about this before, and the responses were helpful, but right now I am spiraling again. Lately, what I think is a dopamine-driven hyperfixation has latched onto my supervisor at work. I actively stop myself from ruminating too much about what it could mean. I remind myself they are just thoughts. I love my boyfriend and I am committed to him. But I have noticed that I sometimes *hope* something goes wrong with an order, just so I have a reason to talk to my supervisor, even if the interaction is only a few sentences. I do not even smile at him because I am so afraid of being disloyal or disrespectful to my boyfriend. The other day, my voice sounded nice, and I got scared that I did that on *purpose* because I was talking to my supervisor. I know how to make my voice sound smoother, and I worried that I subconsciously did it for him. I know people do that kind of thing to seem pleasant in general, but it feels wrong when it is tied to one specific person. There was another moment where I had to bend slightly, and I knew he was behind me, though I didn’t know he would walk in my direction. It turned into a kind of awkward traffic situation, and I started wondering if I *hoped* for that. I even caught myself thinking about whether he finds me attractive. I know that these thoughts might be in the normal range, but the fact that I think about him so much, daydreaming, hoping for interactions, mentally replaying things, feeling excitement, makes me feel incredibly guilty. Is that disrespectful to my boyfriend? I don’t think I’m flirting. But I feel like even hoping/looking for interactions or tweaking my voice counts as some kind of betrayal. I just don’t know. To me, it sounds like a mix of ADHD and OCD, It really does feel like chaos inside my head. I want to be honest with my boyfriend, but I know talking about this stuff makes his jealousy flare up, and understandably so I’m a jealous person myself. But if I don’t confess, it feels like I am hiding something and it feels *extra* disloyal. I know that daydreaming and a bit of excitement are normal, especially with ADHD and dopamine-seeking, but when I go out of my way for a few-sentence interaction, or crave eye contact, is that disloyal? I am not asking for reassurance. I genuinely want to understand if this is normal or if it crosses a line. I am scared that I am just making excuses for bad behavior. I am scared that this is not okay and I am doing it anyway. I wish I could ask my therapist about this, but I had to stop going recently. She always understood how my brain works, especially the difference between reassurance-seeking and genuinely wanting clarity. She was really good at helping me figure out whether something was common or explainable. It helped so much to just know if something was normal, even if knowing did not stop the rumination. That’s kind of what I am looking for now, just someone to tell me if this pattern makes sense or if it crosses a line. Please help :(
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