- Username
- blackbeluga
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Read on erectile disfunction and porn. Its an addiction. I dont think women should just accept that men are different, thats old world thinking its 2019. This is happening because his expectations are distorted because porn is fiction. Itll only get worse if he doesn’t cut it off.
I'm also bothered by my fiance masturbating. Try not to let it get to you. Masturbation and sex mean different things to men especially. They masturbate for the quick release and not having to focus on anyone but themselves. My fiance does it to relieve stress. I'd say only worry if it completely interferes with your sex life. Though, from personal experience, my fiance wants to have sex with me less when my anxiety is through the roof...so that could be a factor.
See I don’t know if it really does interfere with our sex life, because there will be times when he can’t finish and he says it’s because he masturbated the night before, or times when he won’t be in the mood or able to perform because he already masturbated and it takes him so long to build back up libido.
It's the same with my fiance. He can't finish if he already came recently (that day) and it makes him not in the mood to have sex. I understand. It's frustrating and it feels personal. But for me, I'm not necessarily in the mood when he's masturbating anyway... I just wish he'd still go after me. Lol
I should also clarify, I am also male, he is gay I am bi, though the concern still stands and definitely applies to women in regards to their boyfriends, but with a bit of a different perspective. And to Aela’s point, I agree, he told me he likes masturbating because he can just pick up his phone and look at what ever he wants to masturbate to. Sure I’ve watched porn before, but I know that it’s fake and I make the best out of what my boyfriend and I have, not let myself think it should be perfect and exactly like porn.
I feel the same way. I felt weird when I found out my boyfriend had masturbated recently after telling me he had stopped, and he told me he wouldn’t do it anymore if it caused me anxiety. Also watching porn and masturbating can literally cause a man’s brain (and penis) to become numb to the idea of sex, it’s strange but this is what happened to my boyfriend right before we began dating. He had issues with his sex drive and staying hard but then he stopped watching porn and masturbating and now has a completely normal sex drive. He still has issues with getting off though which sometimes feels frustrating and like it’s my fault but it’s definitely something that goes on men’s heads. Maybe if you talk to your partner about how it makes you feel and if you look into how porn and masturbating can effect men’s sensitivity and sex drive to present to him, your partner will take that into consideration, especially if you let your partner know this effects your anxiety.
@jesspb 100% facts.
So I've always had an issue about my partners watching porn. I've always felt super uncomfortable with it and just now realized that maybe it has to do with rocd... but then I fight myself on it because I feel like maybe it's just something that I strongly believe in. My current boyfriend thinks I'm crazy for not letting him watch porn. I then caught him watching porn once after he said he wouldn't and I freaked out. I felt really insecure. He said that he would stop doing it but I obsess over it and I check his phone when he's not looking. I also obsess over if he is talking to other girls. And then when I don't find anything, i tell myself that he has just gotten better at hiding stuff.
Has anyone with relationship OCD had a fear of their partner Masturbating while in a relationship with you? I seem to have had this all my life & mentioned it to partners before. A few have lied about it & admitted it later after agreeing for us to both NOT do it. Found out my fiancé of 2 yrs has lied about it & I am crushed. He told me that it’s normal & that he doesn’t like to do it or want to but all guys do. That he just wants to be a human being. I have a desire to control this because of my fear. I have not done it since we have been official & feel betrayed. He refuses to talk about masturbation with me. Anyone have a similar issue? How did you cope to get thru it?
My bf and I have been together for 6 years and im having trouble connecting with him. I’ve suffered from hocd and rocd for like 3 years now (maybe longer, who knows) but I feel like this is an actual issue? So I enjoy sex with him but my love language is quality time and snuggling. Sex is great but sometimes I look forward to the end of sex because then I know it means we can snuggle closely and enjoy each others company without the worry of him initiating it again. Because usually when I touch him and get close to him, he’ll get ‘excited’ and make advances basically 9 times out of 10. And when I tell him I just want to cuddle, he acts different: not in a douchebag way but he just falls silent and doesn’t really say much. His sex drive is higher than me so now I have an automatic assumption that when we are talking or I touch him in the slightest way, he’s only thinking about sex and not genuinely invested in our conversations. Anyways, just wanted to do a little rant. If any of you could relate that would be nice to hear.
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