Is this even ocd anymore it feels so real and like I’m in denial.. I’m not seeking reassurance but I just don’t know what to do anymore. I got an intrusive sexual image of me getting a baby’s hand and making it finger me and got the feeling as though I may want to do it.. I feel really guilty and ashamed. I would never do that to a baby the image is weird to me but I don’t know it’s like I get this feeling that I may want to do it I know it’s just a thought but I feel like a weirdo

Well it's like some people orgasm when they get raped. And they end up feeling weird because they orgasm and end up regretting orgasming. But the orgasm doesn't mean they want to be raped again. And doesn't mean they set out every day thinking I hope I get raped today. Just like with intrusive thoughts, you don't want them deep down, just like someone doesn't want to be raped. But it is what it is so your body reacts in a way that will confuse the crap out of you because we have mental health problems. Hope this makes some sense too! Stay strong!! ❤️

im gonna tell you right now - ive tried to fantasize about my sexual intrusive thoughts out of desperation to see if they really aroused me. They didnt. that wasnt enough for my ocd because according to my ocd just HAVING THOSE THOUGHTS AND EVEN TRYING TO FIND TRUTH IN THEM was enough to label me a freak. thinking about it and even force-exposing yourself to it will get you nowhere. the image is weird to you like you said. you having these thoughts doesnt make you weird because theres probably normal non ocd people who have had even more grotesque thoughts. that doesnt mean that theyre p*dophiles. literally everything youve described is full on OCD because an actual p*dophile wouldve gotten REALLY off to that thought and you said that it was "weird" to you. "weird" is how i most commonly describe the feeling to seeing sexual situations im not aroused by. if your appetite has decreased, your life feels like its over, your sex drive is tanked and you're sex repulsed and have lost attraction to things previously considered attractive by you then its literally ocd.

Thank you that’s really how I feel..I just can’t bare these thoughts anymore I feel like my mind is constantly manipulating me and it’s so hard to not give in !

well im attracted to hot hunky guys with brick jaws and graphic thoughts about them dont give me anxiety. they give me SERATONIN. literally there is such a difference between denying these thoughts because you know theyre gonna arouse you and denying thoughts because theyre ocd thoughts and they make you feel like shit. i didnt even deny all my gay thoughts when i was closeted. i knew being gay was wrong and could potentially ruin my life but i was like "man that one guy in that one show has such a great ass". so yea if it makes u feel like shit its because u think its shitty not because ur denying some secret arousal.

I used to constantly have really intrusive thoughts about people I was in no way attracted to at school or people much younger than me. I also used to sit and think “fuck god” for some reason and I would tell myself it was going to make me go to hell but then I fixated on that and it was like it was an ongoing chant in my head. You’re not alone and it’s not weird.

what @MissLovely is referring to helped me a lot when i was struggling its called arousal non-concordance and it basically means ur groins on auto pilot. you can google it so as to not get spooked.

Thank you guys ❤️

Your not alone and the fact that you have posted here shows that you are not a weirdo

i have "given in" several times and out of desperation have tested out fantasizing about these intrusive thoughts (please dont its not a healthy way to fight ocd i just do extreme shit because i get really easily sick of suffering) and every time nothing happens. if these thoughts arent giving you the most arousing time of your life then news flash - they dont mean shit. its as simple as that like honestly the moment i left the house and saw like 5-6 attractive cute bearded guys on the street my ocd gave up. now i no longer get anything intrusive and i feel fine. my libido fully isnt back and im not like... a fully healed back to normal person but it does feel like im getting there and you can too.

Thank you ❤️ distracting myself is the only way I can get through it

I just tried to fantasize and i didn’t feel anything but anxiety lol I guess it’s just like self doubt and paranoia because I’m sexual in general

i was in denial about being gay the time i found out but that denial didnt come from intrusive thoughts it came from me literally experiencing euphoria over the thought of guys mopping the floor with me. and i denied it for like 2 days and gave up because it wasnt making any sense denying it sksksksksk. if u deny your intrusive thoughts because they are intrusive and you hate them and it makes sense u deny them because you hate them thats not denying youre a monster. thats just ocd being like "be scared now"

Thank you❤️

when i tried to fantasize about them aside from the general discomfort there was this thing where my brain was just crashing the thought itself. like literally just snatching the thought away and i would try to think about it again and it would get snatched again. like theres a part in your brain that really is just like "GIRL NOOOO THINK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE THIS IS AWFULLLL" and thats enough proof that you arent fond of any of those morbid thoughts.

Lool it’s okay I’ve had the exact same thoughts I think the sexual orientation ocd was how this all started like a year ago where I was in doubt of my sexuality cause I found girls pretty and thought oh god what if I’m a lesbian and thought oh god my family wouldn’t accept me but really I have nothing against gay people and I used to constantly look at girls to see if I liked them and stuff but I know deep down I love guys and love the idea of being with one. I still get doubts but I know that I just have to accept the uncertainty. Also what helps me is creating images of my crush which bring me pleasure vs my intrusive thoughts but is that sort of a compulsion

girls are pretty as fuck...like im not attracted to them but theyre beautiful. it doesnt mean anything ur just acknowledging the truth. i saw a cute high schooler once and i nearly fucking died of guilt and then when i had like a brief moment of what i call "character clarity" where i returned to my normal self for a bit i remembered that i didnt even find him cute i just liked his glasses LMFAOOOOOOOOOO

listen some of the biggest false positives have come from your fetishes being mixed with your intrusive thought. so many fucking times i see someone i shouldnt feel any arousal towards but i see like glasses on them or something and my ocd goes OH SHIT YOU SEE YOU SEE YOU SEE and i just have to tell myself like "i have a fetish for this no duh is my immediate reaction going to be like a quick wooz feeling FUCK OFF" and i have to look at that person like 5 minutes to prove to myself i dont feel anything ITS SO ANNOYING especially if before your ocd took your libido you were a hypersexual person. that could get you fucked up REAL QUICK.

I know I’m not a pedo I just hate the thoughts ugh

Thank you for chatting with me you seem really lovely ❤️

Aw thank you ❤️ here for you too if you ever wanna chat !

Even if it did arouse you wouldn't mean you're a pedo. Our ocd brains like to confuse the fuck out of us. It likes to show us any reaction we have to intrusive thoughts. Ever laugh at hearing someone died. It's cause we panic in the moment and emotionally act in a way that seems socially unacceptable. We draw too much attention to our thoughts and feelings. The truth is, you would feel uncomfortable acting out on the thoughts, and extremely guilty, where as a pedo wants the world to make it acceptable to molester children. Plus pedos are usually only attracted to children, and pedos probably didn't suffer with ocd before they got the thoughts. Hope this makes sense to others and I hope this helps.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^ THIS!!!!!!

Thank you !

thats normal too its ocd's way of being a conspiracy theorist. dont listen to it just laugh it off.

I'm glad I helped ❤️ you guys help me too

Thank you

I feel like I also have the subtype of “I want” so like my ocd comes in statements as well which is annoying so it’s like but you want and then an image and it gives me anxiety and makes me feel like I’m just denying the whole thing

omg that sounded awful wait i wanna correct the part where i said "i knew being gay was wrong." being gay isnt wrong obviously LMFAOOOO i meant that i thought of it that way at the time.

ocd will twist EVERYTHING against you and i mean EVERYTHING

Hahaaahhah it’s true I feel like ocd twists images too like I got the image of having sex with my brother which I obviously hated then my ocd twisted it and made me feel like I wanted it because he has a nice body like wtf lool

I literally experience the same thing it’s so annoying cause you stare and it makes you look like a weirdo.. same experience with pocd I might see a child who I find attractive/cute and I get all these intrusive thoughts it happened to me in the supermarket and I have to keep looking at them and his mum looked at me and I thought oh god she thinks I’m a pedo ugh I hate ocd loll

its ok though - i got through it and so can you. shit i got through it without accepting uncertainty i just full on know im not a p*do like even when i get intrusive thoughts i can somehow make my brain stop for like 3 seconds and refocus onto something else. if i can get thru this so can everybody.

i know youre not a p*do too dont worry nobody here would think that and im here for you

Wow thank you! I like the part when you said about laughing at someone dying.. lately I feel like I check my emotions too much

Thank you I don’t really care much about the arousal part because I know that’s normal with any sexual thought it’s just the feelings I get that I may want to do it etc