Is it possible that at first it was very clear that it was ocd but now that it’s worsening it’s slowly starting to feel like it isn’t? Like the symptoms are 10x more extreme?

yeah, it’s because you do so many compulsions you lose certainty where there used to be some

I agree with ???. I started out way less severe, but the more compulsions i practiced and reassurance i got it started to muddy everything and my brain basically became a slave to the ocd. So much so that my brains basically running on the ocd track automatically but nothing is actually allieviating because i know its not who I am. Ocd can be VERY powerful. Sadly one of my reassurance behaviours is to read posts on other types of ocd to see what behaviours mirror mine, showing that just because my theme isnt necessarily "taboo" doesnt mean its not ocd.

I don’t even know if I am aroused by the thought of being with a woman. I feel numb to every feeling. It’s like I am just this living anxiety “being” that doesn’t know what it feels

Mine has gotten to the pint where I don’t know ANYTHING. I don’t know if I would like to get into a relationship with a woman, if I find a woman attractive. Now all I can think when I see a woman is “what would it be like if a where in a relationship with one”. I don’t know what I feel anymore. I don’t know anything. It truly makes it worse. I used to think being with a woman was disgusting, I don’t know what I feel like towards it anymore