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yeah, it’s because you do so many compulsions you lose certainty where there used to be some

I agree with ???. I started out way less severe, but the more compulsions i practiced and reassurance i got it started to muddy everything and my brain basically became a slave to the ocd. So much so that my brains basically running on the ocd track automatically but nothing is actually allieviating because i know its not who I am. Ocd can be VERY powerful. Sadly one of my reassurance behaviours is to read posts on other types of ocd to see what behaviours mirror mine, showing that just because my theme isnt necessarily "taboo" doesnt mean its not ocd.