- Username
- idont241
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I’ll do my best but forewarned, everyone’s OCD is different. The theme might be the same but their thoughts could be different. Let’s go one at a time.
Feel free to ask away ?
So, was there a point in your ocd where you didn’t understand what you were feeling? Like you didn’t know how you felt like with the thought of being with the same sex? You didn’t feel aroused but you don’t know if you felt disgusted? It’s like you don’t know how you feel? Or when the word girlfriend doesn’t leave your head because you don’t know if you enjoy it or not? Or you can’t even decide on bisexual because your head is like it has to be one or the other? ( I am totally ok if the answers are not what I am looking for, everyone’s ocd is different :) )
So I can kind of answer that! There have been plenty of times when I’ve just gone numb and had no idea what was real anymore. But my HOCD is more on analysis and over thinking. I haven’t had those types of thoughts. I’m sorry. But here’s my email if you have any other questions: jakesmith121987@gmail.com
Thank you so much! I’ll definitely think of using it! Can you please tell me your story and how you felt like and how you got over it? I really need some hope right now. It can be either in here or on m email: idont241@gmail.com Thank you very much!
Yeah sure no problem. Write me an email and I’ll respond. We all need each other in this when things go dark. I’ll be home in an hour and will be by a computer then.
Thank you so much! I sure will
That’s such a relief! Thank you for responding!
While I'm not a clinical proffesional it sounds like your OCD may of taken on emotions. Causing you to ruminate on your sexual identity know. As pure - o plus feeling numb. I think you need to look into a few things. 1. I need to Target the inappropriate thoughts. 2. I need to look into hidden/ mental cumpolsions like analyzing/trying to figure out that ..... 3. Putting OCD a side if I'm feeling numb I think I need to look at other alternative. How is my appetite doing? |_ maybe Depression is Playing a role 2. Than do I need to see a physiciatrist? Ami I feeling muscle tension . Maybe I need sometimes like Emdr to Process the events - or re- regulate the Emotions. In my experience I tried Emdr but nothing worked better than a medication change. Am I thinking in all or nothing. And on and on ... Maybe see a professional
I think it would be awesome if we had some people who overcame certain types of OCD (HOCD, ROCD, POCD, Harm OCD) post on here what they did or how they got through them so others can see that there is hope and what the processes are to overcome these. Even if it’s those amongst our community right now.
*Trigger Warning* (Homosexual/Sexual-Orientation) Everyone who is comfortable, please post your intrusive thoughts, feelings, urges, or memories here that have to do with H/SO- OCD. What is true is that all of these things have nothing to do with who you are, and are just by-products and misconstructions of our creative brains. I want people to feel less alone and to know that they are not deviant. Thanks guys?❤️
Ok... I was doing good until a few weeks ago. I really was making a lot of progress until a few weeks ago. Backdoor spikes turned up and ocd came back with full force. Or at least I think it's ocd... I hope it is. My theme is hocd, by the way. I try to not give the thoughts much attention, but they're making me mad. It feels so real, and when I see coming out stories it just adds up, as if I should come out too. It terrifies me, every day I think about wanting to die, to not wake up, to cease existing. It's been so draining, and so lonely. I don't want to be in the closet, I don't want to have romantic relationships with women. And ocd makes me question why that: because of my morals? What if your sexuality goes deeper than your morals and you're just denying you like women? Maybe you should try it out, you'd like it. This scares me so. much. And the thing is: I watch same sex porn. It turns me on. I've seen on the internet many women actually watch same sex porn, but ocd makes me question if my case isn't different from other women. All the time I'm worried that I'll just lose control and kiss any woman that's by my side. I haven't had any experience with men either, as I'm reserved and a hopeless romantic (high expectations). I've liked men before, though, and I still have many crushes today. Ocd tries to convince me this is just a cover up. This is just destroying my life. This is daily torture, I can't imagine myself living with this forever. What am I supposed to tell my eventual boyfriend, my husband? How am I supposed to have children in this state of mind? What if some day I just snap out of this and actually realize I'm gay? What if this question is actually me already admitting that I am in fact gay? Honestly, it's too much. This was quite hard to write, and I tried to include here as much as possible of my insecurities. If you read till here I'm grateful. Just wanted to say that I DON'T have anything against gay people, even though they're making me very anxious since this all started, which adds up to my endless collection of intrusive thoughts (it makes me think I'm in denial because of some prejudice).
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