Sp1999
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
Thomas A. Thomas A.
- Date posted
- 3y
I said this too the other day. I realized I don’t really hate my life, I hate OCD. I hate knowing that I’m not something, and thinking I am. I get groinal responses from sitting next to friends, family members, pets, etc. a wildly innapriopriate feeling for those occasions. I know that deep down I don’t want to do anything with those people, so much so that my mind creates a loop like: “what if I end up wanting to, and the only reason I’m worrying is because I want to but I know it’s wrong”. That thought process is nonsense. I have a few questions, since you’re my age, and a dude, and have one of the same subtypes of OCD that I’ve gone through. Do you smoke weed? Do you drink? If you answered yes to either, stop immediately. Weed makes your ocd so much worse, especially certain strains. I stopped smoking a month ago after smoking every day for the past 3 years. I bought 200 dollars worth of weed every 4 days with my ex girlfriend. I was like “why won’t I get better?” I wish I knew how detrimental weed was to my mental well-being back then. Seriously, don’t do either of those things. Therapist sucks? Get a new one. Cancel your next appointment, and find a new one. I went through for therapists this year to find this woman named my therapist (I call her by her nickname so I’ll try to find it and send it to you maybe she has appointments). I had a therapist whom I told about the groinal responses she looked at me with a raised eyebrow and told me she thinks I need to go to inpatient care indefinitely, told me she doesn’t think I have OCD. I kindly(rudely) told her that I wanted her to erase everything she just wrote down, and that I was never going to be under her care for a second appointment. Later that day, I told my mom and that’s when I finally found the therapist that I needed. Thirdly, are you taking medication? I found that medication alone did wonders for me. Therapy helps greatly, but the medication made it so those things that sent me into panic kind of rolled off of me like they would’ve 5 years ago. Also, when a friend says “I have ocd too” and they’re talking about something like “it bothers me when I see a picture frame tilted...” just realize they have no idea what kind of monster OCD can be. I know you’ll get better, because I did, and still am, and I hope that you get better quickly as to start enjoying life again.
Thomas A. Thomas A.
- Date posted
- 3y
My therapists name is Alexandra Thieman. I would call her and ask if she has any open appointments, and explain your situation with your current therapist. I’ve never felt nervous to explain how I feel to her, considering she stated that she has OCD in her bio, she understands completely, and how real these thoughts feel.
Sp1999Sp1999
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
Honestly bro, groinals to anything i get weird sensations... even talking to family. Nah i dont drink bro, i used to smoke mad weed, i love weed but this began when i was super baked and doing some personal things. I havent smoked in a long time, me and my girlfriend are about to get more but weed still doesn't help. Sometimes it makes me believe what im going through is true. Oh yeah bro f that therapist.... shes dumb. I dont panick to much i just feel like im in denial and repressing my true self (in my case being bi 😣) ... im scared all of this is fake for me. Yeah bro my girlfriend told me to not speak to anyone anymore about my stuff, i think shes right. Most dont even know ocd
Sp1999Sp1999
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@Thomas A. Im gonna check her out to
Sp1999Sp1999
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
Literally read about the meds part and i got a thought in my head like i dont want it bc im just suppressing 😣. Idk what to believe bro, im so upset
andy1121andy1121
- Date posted
- 3y
Whats wrong ?
Sp1999Sp1999
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
Talked to some friends about my soocd and they both said that its a spectrum, that they been there before and how they are curious (mind you both are basically like family to me) she was saying im handling this differently and that there's different attractions, i started tearing up and got shaky , i hate my life i wanna be straight thats it
Sp1999Sp1999
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
I explained how ive been, and how i was diagnosed and shes like are you self diagnosed i said in the beginning i did and that i was recently diagnosed by a specialist (nocd app)
Sp1999Sp1999
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
She automatically assumed ocd is placing things a certain way and cleaning. I said ocd attacks your values and I said mine is my sexual orientation
Sp1999Sp1999
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@Justateenagerwithocd I just want to cry 😭💔... its bad enough it feels real and i hate telling myself i wanna die. Man i love myself not saying im gonna do any self harm because im not. But i want the guy i was before this 💔
Sp1999Sp1999
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@Justateenagerwithocd Idk if its ocd but new things popped in my head but same subject. Like do you care about genders i say no all the time but i don't like men
Sp1999Sp1999
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@Justateenagerwithocd I dont have many friends who are aware of this illness let alone any friends, and i want to find a new therapist i feel likey current one isn't very caring 😣.. could be me overthinking simply bc she wont reassure me i definitely have ocd , its hard to see reality and facts that im not anything that im thinking of let alone ocd positive. Im scared , i want to live ! I appreciate you, really thankyou. 🤟🏻🖤
Thomas A. Thomas A.
- Date posted
- 3y
Yeah but that’s why you should probably try medication(after talking to a psychiatrist, I’m not a professional). It’s only suppressing the anxiety caused by ocd and the constant questioning, and at the bare minimum, even if you were bi, the medicine would help you just be like “yeah I might be bi but I have a girl, and rn i like a girl.” And that would be your whole thought process. Instead of rn, and being super consumed by it. Regardless of what your feelings are, you shouldn’t feel so badly about them. You’re not a bad person because you have soocd, you’re trying to get help for all of the things that make you feel bad. That alone tells me that you’re a person with good values, and are just confused. I hope you find clarity, and I’ll pray for you. I also felt like I was repressing my true self(I thought I was gay, I skipped over the bi part even though I only ever was sexually attracted to women) I would see a guy and think he’s handsome, and never realized everyone thinks a handsome person is handsome, doesn’t mean you’re sexually attracted to them. Add in a groinal response, you can genuinely feel like that’s true. I know you got this brotha! You will love life again.
Sp1999Sp1999
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
I dont wanna be bi 💔....
Sp1999Sp1999
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
I feel like your saying recover will give me clarity to the truth 😪
Sp1999Sp1999
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
Before all of this i was completely fine... im straight but this makes it feel like a lie.💔
Thomas A. Thomas A.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Sp1999 I mean, I’m no professional but I don’t think bi people care this much that they’re attracted to both genders. someone who’s bi probably just goes about their day, and this seems like you don’t want to be bi so much that you actually feel like you are. You’re paying attention to a time where you felt aroused by something maybe, or thought a guy was handsome, which we all have felt before. This doesn’t mean you’re bi, this just means you are human. OCD adds to that uncertainty, and messes with your emotions.
Sp1999Sp1999
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@Thomas A. I wanna cry bro 😪... there's nothing wrong with people who roll that way but i dont want to like men in any shape or form 😣...
Sp1999Sp1999
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@Thomas A. I dont think people who are gay,bi ect. Act the way i would or feel the way i do. None of this makes me happy, i dont see how sexual orientation can be something confusing. Ive always been attracted to women
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