rocd

does anyone with rocd feel like a part of them is turned off like happiness and love? all i can really feel is sadness and anger. i know that i love my partner but a part of me just feels blocked.

Relationship OCD

crc_1394

Date posted: 3y

Yes I feel such a heaviness in my chest and I feel like I can see the fullness of the love I want to feel but all of these thoughts keep me from getting there. It’s like I can see it across a metaphorical pond and there’s a really shaky and weak bridge that I can’t walk across

Sero82

Date posted: 3y

It's the same for me except I envision a large disconnect through some literal distance or space

getwellsoon

Date posted: 3y

i do feel this on and off, it’s like a light switch or when i do feel them i don’t believe them if it makes sense

faith🤍<3

Date posted: 3y

if so why do those emotions turn off??

Sero82

Date posted: 3y

Yes, literally yes all the time. I'm scared to even use the word love out of fear that I might not mean it because I can't feel anything and am emotionless

EM77

Date posted: 3y

The other day I literally felt the love washing over me and then I shut it down. If I have a good day of feeling the love I can guarantee the next day I won’t feel a thing and I’ll feel the complete opposite. It feels like I’m two different people sometimes and it feels like I can’t let myself feel love

EM77

Date posted: 3y

I started seeing a therapist but she wasn’t an OCD specialist so I don’t think she quite understood and didn’t use ERP. Probably 4-5 months, he had certain habits that gave me the ick which I just couldn’t cope with and that decided it for me

Jigjon99

Date posted: 3y

Absolutely, its like a defense mechanism.

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y

Yeah, except I have ROCD in a new relationship and it SUCKKSSSS because I can't tell if I like them bc I go back and fourth and either am incredibly triggered by them and feel nothing, or when I DO feel something I doubt it and dismiss it

EM77

Date posted: 3y

I was the same in my new relationship. I was obsessive over whether I liked him or not from the beginning. I even doubted moments when I felt like I did like him and nothing was ever enough. I constantly questioned what it felt like to have feelings but we’re still together now 7 months on!

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y

@Liza7 Wow!! I'm so happy for you that you guys are still together. I know that it's hard as hell. How did you manage to decide to stay? It's so hard for me because I don't want to "lead them on"

EM77

Date posted: 3y

@Anonymous I still struggle most days but I stayed because I know I would regret breaking up with him for quite possibly the rest of my life. That sounds dramatic! I too worry about leading him on and wasting his time. I worry he deserves better than me but at the moment I still want to try to make it work. I had ROCD in a past relationship, at first I wanted to stay but as time went on I found that I didn’t actually like him. The telling thing was when I told my best friend I wanted to break up with my ex, she told me I’d regret it and I was adamant I wouldn’t. I feel very different this time around with my current boyfriend so I’m choosing to stay! Sorry if this was triggering in any way

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y

Have you been doing erp therapy for it? Do you feel it helps? Also how long did it take you in your last relationship to realize you didn't like him?

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