Please help! I have a different kind of relationship ocd. I obsess over people whether i am in a relationship with them or not and do magical thinking compulsions surrounding them (its people who i believe thru interactions that may be attracted to me tho). I lose all sight of my dignity and self esteem and become insecure. Now there was someone who i was actually romantic with at one point. When we were bad (and he left in the end) my ocd and self esteem were terrible. I lost like 25 pounds, throw up, nightmares, compulsions, always upset, couldn’t hang with friends. I had to takw a year off of school. That was a year and so ago. I got better was starting to get my ocd under control and he came back. I told myself I wouldn’t enter a romantic space with him but i guess he initiated and i reciprocated wholeheartedly. Anyways after two months we called it quits again. I know its an unhealthy relationship and i need to stop obsessing because im losing my weight again and loss the desire to eat, sad all the time, and obsess over him. I just dont know how. Im afraid of losing him but he’s already left. :( i keep thinking he left because I wasn’t attractive enough to him since he saw me without any makeup and filter w/ bonnet for the first time but he said that I genuinely made him upset through an argument and its the most upset hes ever been while knowing me. I want to block him because thats the only way i feel like i don’t obsess. Anyway it’s been a month since we haven’t talked and now he’s doing things we said wed do together and waited for each for (1 1/2 years of waiting) alone.