rocd

Okay so my issue is that i overthink everything decision i make for my bf. at first the whole do i love him and am i attracted to him started to happen but i worked on that and focused on reality and i worked my way outta thinking like that because if i really didn’t want to be with this person or wasn’t attracted id leave. and since working on that ive gotten 100x more attracted to this person fue to fight iff what my brain wanted to believe and focused on the tryth and real details. now the issue im trying to be is with intrusive thoughts with othrr boys. i try to not look at guys. i dont speak with guys at all unless i am spoken too and each time. i tell my boyfriend each detail that happened and how it happened, and basically what started happening was i started having sexual intrusive thoughts about each guy my eyes landed on so i started to leave the relationship back in the beginning until i told myself that i truly knew that i loved that person and id never ever do anything to hurt that person. i decided to try and deal with these issues because before i didn’t even know i had rocd i just thought my head wanted to put me in scenarios to make sure i loved my partner. somethings i do now is sit by the people that i know my head would have intrusive thoughts about and i calm down and dont let focus on the anxiety my brain wants to see. they still happen but not as much and they dont have as much control over me because i reassure myself of whats really going. i am with him i am not cheating i know i would never cheat and sometimes when i start to get an intrusive thought i let it hit me and i go back and fix it , i realize why it’s happening and re-imagine the intrusive thought with the reality and not what my brain wants me to believe. am i doing right in doing so?

Relationship OCD

353512shi

Date posted: 3y

yes for sure!!!!! exposing yourself to things you know will make you anxious ajd keep going back to them until the anxiety is a little less is a great way to handle it. if you flee the situation ajd try to avoid it your giving the story you have in your mind power and that’s what ocd thrives on. i have had a very similar situation with my boyfriend. i have had intrusive thots about other guys and they make me very anxious ajd upset. i feel like there is something wrong with my relationship or me. but it is just the ocd talking

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y

Okay okay now i dont know if this makes me a horrible person but last night i was reading for a while other peoples experiences and it was the last thing i did before i went to sleep. and i guess i got kind of triggered because i had about like 5 dreams about 5 other people and i woke up but i dont feel as guilty anymore because i am aware that i would never do what my dreams plan for me to do. is that a good or bad sign? i still feel a little part of me that feels guilty and it’s mostly in my stomach but at the same time i take a deep breath in , let it go and try to focus on the reality instead of the lies yk?

353512shi

Date posted: 3y

yes for sure!!! I have ROCD as well and i get other dreams about other guys and i usually wake up feeling terrible and like there is something wrong with my relationship. but the thing is we spend a lot of time have intrusive thots in our day to day lives ajd so when we go to bed our mind sometimes sticks on those thots, kind of like nightmares. this isn’t a sign, i get used to these dreams now and ik they don’t mean anything. stay strong, i sometimes feel so guilty i have intrusive thots that i think i should break up with my boyfriend, but just know it just ocd. it is not how you actually feel. i find that when my ocd is bad my dream are usually about what my ocd was thinking about it’s weird. we have some similar issues, if you wanna talk more let me know:)

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y

yes!! i would love to have someone to talk too! maybe we can help eachother out :)!

353512shi

Date posted: 3y

Yes we can help roster out, seems like we’re having very similar issues. how are you feeling now with everything, what are some of the thoughts you have been having recently?

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y

so today my family and i went to a party and there was a guy there and i never make eye contact with guys that aren’t my bf well i try not too. but then there are other times where my brain is like oh are you not looking at that person because you think youll cheat if you look and then i look to try and show it that , that isnt the case. and so there was music in the background and i was trying to focus on that but see my head likes to make scenarios about everything its how i used to fall in love and see people through the thoughts and scenarios i create and i was trying to imagine me and my boyfriend together but i’ve learned that when im anxious and try to imagine something i really want my ocd will come and ruin it. and so instead of my head imagining my bf it imagined the boy at the party. and i kept telling myself its the anxiety, its the anxiety and the ocd. it didnt help but i tried to keep telling that. and then my bf is gang affiliated and my head instead of imagining him it shows some other affiliated person but the person is famous im aware that my thoughts make 0 sense they just wont leave. its what has happened today. what should i do? also what about you:) whats been going on?

353512shi

Date posted: 3y

okay so trying to face the ocd is causing a lot of anxiety right? so what may help is writing all of your thoughts down so you can see how silly they look ajd read them over. if you keep facing this anxiety and putting yourself in uncomfortable situations then the anxiety will become less intense. just know that ocd is not you it’s just thoughts. i find that when i have an ocd i think it will last forever but they eventually go away! just know that by facing it you are taking your power back little by little. i find i struggle with the same stuff i will get so worried that i like someone else or something or find someone else attractive and that mean i don’t love my boyfriend and he is wrong for me, when i reality i never wanna leave him and i love him they are just intrusive thots and you are not alone

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y

but what about if it’s like about my exes? i dont mean too nor wanna think about them they are just there. yesterday i had a dream about my ex but in the dream i made sure i didnt flirt and that nothing happened between us.

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y

@Anonymous i just don’t understand why the thoughts wont leave me alone🥲

Jpais28

Date posted: 10w

ROCD advice help for supporting partner

I am at a very difficult spot in my relationship. My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years, and I have a history of cheating that for years we’ve been trying to work through. To me, it makes a lot of sense that my OCD has attached itself to this and for the last few years I’ve experienced intrusive sexual thoughts of others and relationship ocd. I have been open to him about the content of my thoughts and now, with a proper diagnosis of an anxiety disorder, I am able to reframe them and work through them with ERP so that my brain will *hopefully* get bored and stop sending them. But, things have not been easy. As a result of this and everything in our past, he has become anxious about all the scenarios where I could be having sexualized thoughts about other people. To him, if I am thinking something utterly different than what I am telling him or acting like to him, he can’t fully trust it. And of course, I can imagine how difficult it is to know your life partner is sexualizing others in her brain and to be able find a way to dismiss them as unthreatening, especially when past mistakes say otherwise. Is there anyone that has gone through this with a partner? And other than repeatedly explaining the egodystonic nature of my thoughts and providing reassurance, what are some things you did that helped them? Any advice helps! Thank you

Anonymous

Date posted: 10w

Rocd help please

Ok so this all could be for reassurance but I’m rlly upset en and need help. So to preface, I had ocd when I was younger her and when I started dating my current bf it suddenly returned but ig I didn’t realize it was rocd bc I never knew it could present itself in this way. All I knew was “go away I just wanna love my bf and stop liking other guys” when my brain would get me so confused. A couple weeks ago I started on Luvox and I thought it was rlly working bc I also started seeing an ocd specialist and she gave great tips on exposures and the Medication in conjunction w that jus felt like it finally make me myself again. However, yesterday I had some gwneral intrusive thoughts in the morning and right before that, I was on top of the world so happy bc I was myself again. When the thoughts came I was like ew oh whatever. UNTIL my brain was like nagging me and making me feel guilty for having those thoughts. So I dove into em making sure they weren’t true etc. bc that never fixes anything it kept progressively getting worse and I forgot my exposures in those moments bc I just wanted to make sure I loved my man and didn’t do smth against him. Towards the later day, I was swimming w my siblings and my bf and the whole time I had a blast bc he’s the best, but I had nagging thoughts and feelings saying some guy from my new job is similar looking but slightly better looking and he’s the one guy I’ll leave my bf for. And it’s been saying that and variations of it from over 24 hrs now and I feel so awful. I feel guilty and to make things worse. Last night bc I spiraled/ relapsed so hard my thoughts also said I wanna leave my bf bc I no longer love him and I miss those old feelings but I can’t jus forget how awful I am as a gf to him bc my thoughts and ocd feelings. I feel terrible and I jus wanna be fixed😓I don’t wanna like that guy my man is my bsf and so cute and handsome and perfect. Why am I still “confused” if I don’t wanna be etc. my therapist said to go toward my goals and Values and not let ocd stop me from it, but I feel as if I can’t til I make sure I don’t like the other person or wanna but all I want is to be me but I feel like a liar 😞

melly07

Date posted: 7w

rOCD

I wanted to talk about my experiences with rOCD since I currently do still suffer from it but I know if I talked about them. My thoughts are just gonna get stronger, but I’ll do it for the sake of talking about my experiences to others who feel like they’re alone. I have a very loving relationship actually my first healthy relationship we are currently still dating one year and six months. I would say these intrusive thoughts started to happen once I hit the one year mark with him. Nothing in the relationship has made me think these thoughts, but it just came. Like when my mind tried to make me think I liked another guy other than my boyfriend and that I was losing feelings for him. I started to panic because I knew that my heart belonged to my boyfriend and having thoughts that were against that belief it made me really anxious cause I never had those thoughts before. I was in and out of the care center at my school constantly having anxiety attacks, and it was affecting me day by day. I talk to my boyfriend about it because my mind can never keep secrets from him because then I would feel like that I’m lying to him… my mind just kinda works that way and I believe it’s due to the situation I have with rOCD. Luckily, he was really supportive.. in thoughts I’ve had was what if I don’t like him anymore or if he doesn’t do this does that mean he likes me or if he’s even the one just a lot of doubts about me and him in the relationship. And for anyone who’s experiencing stuff familiar to this you are not alone invalid only what you believe is what is true. And I know it’s gonna be hard to know what’s true or not because these thoughts that you have versus what’s in your heart you get confused but if you know that you love that person then that’s what true. Also, the only reason why it affected me a lot was because I kept trying to solve it and the only solution is to let those thoughts in and accept that you have those thoughts. I don’t mean as an accept that these thoughts are true, but accepts that those are the thoughts that you’re thinking because if you keep on trying to find a solution to remove them, it only just get worse.

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