ROCD

Hi guys I’m new to NOCD and tbh I don’t know if I have it, but some people I talked to told me I have it. I am currently in the U.S. Army I just got back from deployment from Kuwait. I got home and everything seemed great; I was overly excited to see my wife, and be around her again. After a month of being home I one day woke up and started having these intrusive thoughts about not wanting to be with her, and it freaked me out. I brushed the thought off and ignored it for that day. Next day the thoughts returned and I was so frightened by the thoughts and told my wife. She freaked out and thought I was going to leave her and she thought I didn’t love her anymore. I was so scared of the thoughts I couldn’t eat, sleep, or enjoy life. I was even puking and chain smoking like crazy. I started getting on google and searching signs of falling out of love, best ways to save a marriage, and the list goes on and on. I was also talking to a lot of friends and family trying to get some kind of advice and it seemed like that didn’t work. I get 100 good things but the moment someone told me sometime bad I dwelled on that one bad thing. I finally went to my units chaplain and told him what was going on and was scared and frightened by the thoughts and he was the one who told me that it seems like strong signs of OCD and that I should get tested. When he told me OCD I was like how can it be OCD I don’t clean or put things in order. He told me that OCD manafest itself in a lot more different forms then just cleaning and he told me did you know that there are some People out there that have thoughts about being gay even though they know they are strait. After our conversation I went home and started researching OCD and it’s mean forms. I’m currently going to a mental health expert next week to get tested. Any advice would be much appreciated.

Relationship OCD

EmOnigiri

Date posted: 3y

I think it's really great that your unit's chaplain was able to give you information about OCD because had it not been for him, you might have spent months and months just researching and spiraling further into your ruminations. I think you should work with a NOCD therapist or any other therapist licensed to work with individuals who have OCD. Secondly, I think you need to stop asking your friends/family for advice. I know that normally that would be a good avenue for gaining perspective but at this point, if you've talked to lots of people about this same topic, it could mean that you're compulsively seeking some sort of reassurance to feel some relief from your thoughts/feelings. Lastly, I would recommend that after you have a good therapist and get some more information about OCD that you inform your wife about the disorder itself and what the recovery process looks like. Avoid "confessing" specific thoughts/feelings you're having towards her because that can be hurtful but let her know that recovery could mean that she sees you having some emotional ups and downs but that you're committed to her and to seeing this through. I've struggled with ROCD towards my husband for the past 2 years and it's been a long and winding road. I can tell you though that I'm better now than I've been in a long while and that working through this can really be a source for strengthening your commitment. Best of luck to you 💗

dkane72

Date posted: 3y

Thank you so much. Like I said I’m not even sure if I have OCD or not. I remember 2 years ago I had thoughts about God being real, if I committed the unforgivable sin, if I believe in the right God. I remember during that experience I was constantly going to church, reading the Bible, googling proof of God being real, YouTubing gospel music, and just praying like crazy. It got so bad I was at work and one of my leaders saw that I was destressed and pulled me to the side and asked what was wrong with me and I told her. I also said I don’t want people to think I’m crazy. I was at the point of crying and just not feeling myself.

EmOnigiri

Date posted: 3y

@dkane72 Maybe you do have it, maybe you don't. When I 1st looked into ROCD, I thought that OCD was just about meticulous cleaning rituals, etc but the more I've learned, the more I've realized that it's a pattern of thinking that can be expressed in all sorts of ways; ways that don't tend to get as much press as the cleaning OCD subtype. I realized looking back that I've had recurring OCD for most of my life and just thought that it was normal. For example when I was much younger, I went through a phase in life where I was crippled by the fear of my mother dying. It was all I could think about day and night and I made life really difficult for both of us. Other times in life I've been obsessed with mistakes I've made and replayed them over and over in my head for weeks or until I made another mistake. I thought these things were normal but discovered that they are not. I think the more you learn, the more you might discover that this is a thinking pattern you've had in the past multiple times. This is a great opportunity to both strengthen your marriage and also face a flaw in thinking pattern that may have been holding you back for a long time!

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