- Date posted
- 3y
Recovery story
Okay, I’m not the best at writing story’s. As I always say, I’m the worst person when it comes to even stringing a sentence together 😂 How and ever, this is something I’ve put off for a long time as I try to keep away from any online forums etc related to OCD. But I’ve said to myself this shouldn’t be about me, this is for all you suffering in light for hope. Back in June 2020, I woke up one day totally riddled with anxiety and a voice in my head. A feeling no one should ever bare. I could barely speak or breath. I researched constantly about overthinking not having a clue what OCD even was until a few weeks later. A sigh of relief I suppose when I discovered it was OCD as everyone labels it a “liar”, I sensed I would be fine knowing this is all false signals sent from the brain. I wasn’t fine though. Nothing was ever enough to shut the voice up in my brain. I was always the life and soul of the party who turned into the man who would sit in his bedroom all day waiting for a miracle to happen so this would all end. I wanted my life to end essentially even though I was a person full of life who loved living to somebody who sat in their car almost 24/7 so my family and friends never saw me break down. It was a rocky road from day one. I couldn’t trust myself enough to do ERP because everything felt like it would come to life and turn real if I didn’t protect myself from my brain. This was one of my biggest mistakes which I learned along the way. In January 2021, I finally said to myself enough is enough. I couldn’t pity myself anymore and live miserably. I took myself away from everything OCD had to offer. This included removing myself from forums online and continuously researching and asking other sufferers questions hoping they could relate to my story. Ever since, I’ve never looked back. It has been one of the toughest yet most rewarding journeys to get to where I am. I can finally say I feel back to myself and there’s no better feeling. Yes it still creeps in from time to time but I can dismiss it now and say “here you are again I’ve heard it before and it got me no where so why bother now”. That’s the thing, you must realise, you are the creator of your success. It is upto you to recover. Nobody or nothing can get you to where you want to be other than you. I learnt that trust me I used to pray all day and try all sorts of medication and nothing worked. But I’m living again. Yes me, the person who user to read recovery stories thinking I might never be able to make my own. But I have and it’s something I’m proud of to get here. As I said, I was existing before. That’s the fine line which you must distinguish between to appreciate life. I can actually enjoy spending time with my amazing girlfriend, go nightclubbing again, meet up with friends, go on holidays and relax. Things I used to do before OCD that I can do again now. Trust in yourself and you will get to where you want to be. You got this. I wish you all success in your recovery and know anything is possible once you set your mind to it. And always remember, there’s light at the end of the tunnel. Never give up!