Obsessive thoughts

Longer post, but please, I need some guidance. I thought that my thoughts relating to relationship OCD were taking over. But, my bf started treating me differently. I tried to have a conversation and communicate this worry. He then texted me that he had actually been feeling distant for a month and has been meaning to tell me. But “we’re fine now.” I spiraled. Later in the week, he went quiet after a disagreement. After he promised we were okay and he was okay, I found later he was texting a mutual friend (female) that I was crying again. She said that it was fucking insane and other hurtful things about me. He said he lost his trust with me because I looked through his phone and saw that message even though during the whole relationship we had a mutual understanding that we had nothing to hide from each other and he always assured me that I could look through his phone at anytime. It’s ok for boundaries to change in a relationship, but it wasn’t communicated and I was harshly reprimanded. During the texting chain with the mutual friend he also said that “she just has no idea.” When I addressed this, he then said that for the past month, he actually felt he didn’t want to be in a relationship, but still loved me. I’m ruined. I had the same thoughts in January and knew I loved him. I found out it was ROCD (through this app) and told him the day after the realization because it was eating at me. So him saying I wouldn’t understand and telling other seems unjustified. I would’ve been the most understanding. Any help would be appreciated greatly.

Hello, this is my second post, not too long ago i made my first, talking about a sudden come-back of my intrusive thoughts. This post will talk about another of my issues, mainly regarding ocd (obviously) and relationships. As i had said before, i had been feeling terrible and felt like i didnt deserve love, especially the love of the guy that i love. I would like to add that in prior moments we have promised eachother and he has reassured me he will never leave me, but today he was pretty much gone all day (long distance) and for the most part ive just been overthinking, all night, actually.. thinking that at any moment he will just randomly block me on everything and never talk to me again. Its now 4:03 AM, and i just feel so scared. Im scared of losing him, this is predominantly because in a past relationship things ended suddenly, my ex switched up after we had promises and everything and i am absolutely horrified of things ending the same way for me and him. I’ve been anxious, trying to take my mind off of it, but if i do, my mind tells me that if i look away, when i look back, i’ll miss it and he’ll have already blocked me. and tries to tie in earlier conversations i had throughout the day and somehow ties them back to now. (Like my bestfriend telling me she had some dream where i apologized to my friends for ‘leaving’) For the past few hours ive just been out of it. Im scared of being obsessive, Im scared of losing him, and whenever i check to see, my heart skips a beat because i thinks he’s gone. The thing is, I know this isnt the case, and I know there must be an explanation, but for some reason im still worried. and I know these thoughts arent a reflection of reality, but ive also had the idea that my thoughts can also affect what actually happens. I would also like to add that he lives in the US and is mexican, and with the increasing violent situation, my mind even starts to wander off and ask itself what if something happened to him? It makes it worse. because i can’t control it. and that makes me afraid. Im also worried about being a horrible partner, about everything failing and its all just making me feel worse. Yesterday morning I woke up feeling sort of out of it, and throughout the day i felt as if i were emotionless, which made me wonder what if i had lost emotions for him? this also happens to me sometimes. I, for some reason begin thinking like “you lost your love for him nothings gonna happen ever.” and my mind starts making up reasons why, or simply gives me this feeling of emptiness for that love, as if i have been detached from it. and then i overthink again “what if i actually dont love him but im just obsessed and thats all it is an obsession and none of it is real?” that last part, im feeling it right now. along with everything else. Im exhausted, Im tired, and i just want to be happy with him. Thank you to all those who choose to read this. thank you. ❤️ Edit: I would also like to add that ive been also dealing with the occasional regular intrusive thoughts. which dont form fully in my brain but i can still sort of, “feel” the intrusive thoughts uncomfortable themes.

Hi all. I’m writing this because I can’t stop spiraling and I don’t know who to talk to without feeling judged. I (27F) have OCD, so emotional safety and perceived red flags are something I hyper-analyze. My boyfriend (24M) and I are in a long-distance relationship, Im just on vacation right now . We’ve had our ups and downs, but overall, it’s a loving connection. That’s why this particular moment is bothering me so much. Last night, we were on a video call, flirting. At one point I said, “Go to the bathroom first,” before things got more intimate (he has a roommate and wanted privacy). After a few minutes, he came back and said, “Okay I’m alone.” But I hesitated. I was acting playfully shy and holding back. That’s when he said something like, “You said if I went to the bathroom, you’d show me something. This isn’t my (my name)—she’s not shy with me.” He said it smiling, and I was smiling too, but later it started to gnaw at me. My OCD kicked in. I started spiraling: Did that cross a line? Was that pressuring? I brought it up to him, and while he tried to be supportive, I could tell he was caught off guard. He said something like, “I’m trying my best to support you, but I feel sad that you would think I’d ever pressure you like that.” And then, in what he admitted later was a “dumb joke,” he said: “I’m not like your dad—I won’t get mad if you say no or disagree with something.” (For context: I’ve told him before about my father’s anger issues from my childhood. It’s a very sensitive topic.) I got upset and told him never to bring my father into things like that. He immediately apologized and said, “I realized it right after—that the thing I said as a joke to get you out of overthinking was serious. I’m so sorry again, and I feel really bad right now. I respect you and I respect everyone in your family.” After that, he was very gentle. We stayed on the call for a while longer, I felt heard, and we ended things with “I love you.” But today I still feel emotionally sore. Not because I think he’s abusive or manipulative—he isn’t—but because I felt something shift. He saw me cry like that for the first time, and now I feel exposed and over-analytical. My OCD brain is stuck on what if this was a red flag? Even though he apologized and explained himself, I still feel unsettled. What’s making it harder is that I haven’t even told my best friend. I usually tell her everything, but I’m scared to bring this up. I know she already has reservations about him (she’s very protective of me), and I feel like if I share this, she’ll just add it to the “reasons he’s not right for you” list. But I don’t want her judgment—I want clarity. I’m scared that sharing it will make things worse instead of better, and that’s an isolating feeling. I want this relationship to work. I don’t usually cry like that in front of people. I don’t usually feel safe enough to. And he did show up in the end. But now I don’t know how to trust myself—is this a moment to work through together, or am I ignoring something important? Would love some kind, grounded perspective. Thanks for reading.