Question ROCD

I’ve seen a few people talking about rocd where they get fears they aren’t attracted to or in love with their partner, I’ve gotten thoughts like this before. However, I also get the opposite where I get afraid my partner isn’t attracted to or in love with me and that they will leave me soon. This leads to a lot of reassurance seeking like asking if they hate me or are sick of me etc. I try really hard to suppress it because I know that can push someone away. I’m just wondering if anyone else struggles with this or could this be something else like attachment issues?

Relationship OCD

Username: mostdope42mostdope42

Date posted: 2y ago

ROCD can 100% manifest as a fear you don’t love your partner “enough” or that your partner may not be the one AND that your partner doesn’t love you “enough” and they think you aren’t the one. i think the second option can be classified as just relationship anxiety or anxious attachment IF the thoughts aren’t persistent and recurrent and you don’t perform compulsions. but it can def be ocd! either way accepting uncertainty and embracing doubt is the way to go!

Username: Anonymously2 Anonymously2

Date posted: 2y ago

Yes, I don’t have rocd now because it has switched to a different theme. But when I had those thoughts I got it exactly like you say. You have thoughts where you fear you don’t love him anymore and it gives you a horrible feeling and then the other moment you get a fear that he doesn’t like you anymore and you are reassurance seeking to him if he loves you

Username: alyrenzalyrenz

Date posted: 2y ago

Omg yes and then I get mad at myself like “Jesus you were just panicking that you didn’t love him yesterday and now you’re freaking out about him not loving you?? Make up your mind!” Lmao

Username: Anonymously2 Anonymously2

Date posted: 2y ago

@alyrenz Haha same it’s so frustrating. I’m not diagnosed yet but I’m talking to a therapist now so I hope something comes out

Username: KD619KD619

Date posted: 2y ago

Ive had it for the past year, its hard because i have been with my partner for the past 4 years and yes he has flaws but so do I and sometimes my mind just spirals and keeps pondering wether we will end up together or be happy together after 10 or 20 years. Its like i fear losing him so to avoid having to deal with that possibly eventually in the future my mind likes to push him away “to get it done now” idk. Its weird but im gonna talk to my therapist about it because its been so overwhelming. I try to just meditate anytime i start getting into a thought loopnlikr this. Meditation if you keep practicing it lets you let thoughts in and then out theh may keep coming up a hundred times or so but will go by quicker and u wont dwell on it as much

Username: Louise b

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

ROCD

I always wonder “what if I’m not attracted to my partner” “what if I still have feelings for other people” “what if I cheated on my partner” “what if my partner cheats on me” “what If my partner annoys me and I don’t actually want to be with him” and I’ll do this so much over and over that I get so worked up I’ll criticize him, over analyze him, feel as though I don’t like him. But then an hour later after I find relief ( from telling him, looking things up, talking to my sisters about it) I’ll be in love with him but I won’t fully feel it because I’ll just be thinking about how I just felt before and how bad it was or anticipate it again for the future. So I’m constantly ruining it for myself, and it hurts so bad because he’s so perfect for me and so kind to me and everything about our relationship is right but my mind tries to convince me of other things and it feels so real.

Relationship OCD

Username: anonymous1963

Date posted: 49w ago

Rocd vs reality

How do people recognize the difference between relationship ocd intrusive thoughts and real thoughts about your relationship? I have been in a relationship for about a year, it’s my first long-term relationship and the healthiest, I am almost 20 years old, and I believe I have rocd (I haven’t been diagnosed but it’s pretty clear to me). The main thoughts I get are “what if I’ll lose feelings for my bf?, what if I don’t love him?, what if I’m gonna break his heart?” (it’s never about if he’s cheating on me or anything like that. He is a really great boyfriend and the best person to ever walk into my life, he isn’t toxic or bad in any way towards me or the relationship). Usually these thoughts occur before my period (luteal phase/pms) but I’m on day 6 of my period and I got these thoughts, which usually isn’t the case as I’ve said before. So I went into a spiral cus I believed that since I got these thoughts at a different time in my cycle, they must be true. Deep down I know I love my boyfriend so much, it’s just so hard to navigate whether or not these thoughts are just fake rocd thoughts or what I’m really thinking. Can anyone else relate?

Username: BC123

Date posted: 45w ago

ROCD

I think I have relationship OCD. I will be doing great with my boyfriend then out of no where I get this intrusive thought that he thinks other people are attractive and has a wandering eye for others and I need reassurance immediately. And when he gives me reassurance, I think he’s lying. After like an hour of back and forth repetitive conversation I feel better, then the next day it happens again. Every. Single. Day. I freak out and blow up and need reassurance. I can’t tell if I’m getting these thoughts because they are true or because I’ve been with someone in the past who has cheated on me so I believe that all people get these thoughts. I’m so ready for a cure. Does anyone know what to do? I don’t want to live with this

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